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Recent entries from Go Quest - the blog of Secondalto

NOTE: This blog has been rated FR18 by the author. Blog content is not moderated by TtH

Summary: Steve is found by Bucky
Spoilers: Winter Soldier
Disclaimer: not mine, no infringement intended
Author's Notes: Just a little something based on the image of Steve walking through Arlington on Vereran's Day



Steve pulls at the collar of his jacket, hunching his shoulders against the light, but biting wind. The flags in the ground flutter, reminding Steve of what day it is: Veteran’s Day. There are a few families here, but mostly he’s alone. He’s not had the chance to come here since he first relocated to D.C. He came then and shortly after the Chitauri, but not since.

He doesn’t head right for his destination. He wanders, slowly taking in names and dates of countless soldiers who gave their lives. Steve watches the changing of the guard at the tomb of the Unknowns, pulling his ball cap lower as tourists film and photograph the solemn ceremony. He detours to other graves, thinking about the Commandos. He’s gone to pay his respects to each of them, even flying out on Tony’s dime for Dernier and Falsworth. He knows, when the time comes, he’ll do the same for Peggy.

He climbs the hill that leads to his final stop. Steve stops halfway, heart aching as he approached the grave he’s always known was empty. It takes everything he had not to collapse in front of Bucky’s headstone and let it all go; to weep for the boy he’d met at twelve, the man he’d loved at twenty. Instead, he puts a hand on the stone, and makes a promise that he will never stop looking for his friend. Steve puts one foot in front of the other as he finishes the trek to his destination, his own grave.

He’s heard the stories, read the books and articles, and seen the internet postings. This used to be a place of pilgrimage; for the Commandos, for fans and even for Phil Coulson. Once Steve came out of the ice, though, it stopped. No need to celebrate the memory of a man who wasn’t dead. So Steve came that first time, m...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 18:10 • More • Comments
part four

“Well, you wanted somewhere other than the jungle!” Steve shouts over the wind.

“Yes, but Antarctica? You know how I feel about the cold!” James shouts back. They are fighting against the weather to reach a remote outpost. “Why the fuck did they pick the South Pole?”

“JARVIS is sure this is the last one and thinks that HYDRA came here thinking we’d never find them,” Steve answers.

“Didn’t count on a near-human AI, did they?” James smirks.

Then he points out the well-built but tiny building. It can’t hold more than two rooms. The guard outside immediately surrenders when he sees a flash of metal arm. They struggle with the door. When they get in, they hear screaming. They rush to the bedroom, shedding outer gear as they go. James can’t help but gape at the sight.

A woman is lying on a hospital bed, her feet up in stirrups and swearing in French. A doctor is standing between her legs and he can see the top of the baby’s head. Steve rushes to the woman’s side, talking to her gently in French. James shakes himself and moves the doctor out of the way.

“You’re gonna have to push,” he coaxes. The woman glares at him but does. James gently guides her through the contractions and pushing while Steve holds her hand (which is undoubtedly trying to crush Steve’s) and wipes her face.

After several minutes, the baby’s head is out. James cradles it gently, asks the woman to push again and the rest of it slides out.

“It’s a girl,” James gushes, his eyes wet with tears. The tiny thing in his hands wails. The doctor cuts the cord quickly, offers a blanket and goes back to tend to the woman. James wraps the baby up. “We’ve got another girl, Stevie.” He looks and Steve has moved from the side of the bed to right next to him. James looks and sees that Steve is crying too.

“S...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 18:04 • More • Comments
Part three

Two weeks later they’re in Borneo. On the actual island of Borneo, the place James has only read about in books and National Geographic articles.

“Talk about your remote locations,” James comments, wiping sweat from his brow. This is as far from the frozen tube he was kept in as he can imagine and right now, he’ll almost take the cryo-chamber.

“HYDRA really was spread out. JARVIS suspects this is a tiny base. Not much resistance,” Steve says.

“We’ll be ready for them if there is. These are our kids, Steve.” Since JARVIS found this first one, James is certain there are more. Even if nothing ever happens between him and Steve, this is his family, the only family he’ll ever get to have.

They push through the jungle. Not too far in is a cottage. A very secure cottage with cameras and probably hidden booby traps. James goes first, skulking around the perimeter, disabling everything, including a guard. He signals to Steve and they both approach the cottage carefully. The door is unlocked but they both have weapons out. There appears to be no one inside.

“Maybe JARVIS got it wrong,” James says as he watches Steve step into another room.

“I don’t think so…” the tone of Steve’s voice makes James follow him. Standing in the corner is a cryo-chamber just like the one he’d been kept in, only slightly smaller. The face staring out at them from the porthole is so familiar that James can’t help but walk over to the thing and stroke a finger over the glass.

“She looks like Becca, Stevie,” he whispers. “Just like my fucking sister.” He reaches for the control panel, but Steve stops him with a gentle hand. Steve is holding a folder, just like Grant’s.

“She’s more like you,” Steve says gently. “From what I can tell, she’s been subjected to the same… techniques they used on you...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 18:01 • More • Comments
part two
“Sir,” JARVIS intones, “I am afraid my security is being overridden again. All my surveillance has been cut off and an elevator is coming to the common room.”

Tony frowns. Steve is very familiar with the face Tony makes. They are sitting with Pepper trying to formulate a strategy for releasing Steve’s press statement. Sarah is sitting on the floor coloring.

“Remind me to go through your code again, J,” Tony finally says. “The last time this happened…”

“It was Phil,” Pepper whispers. They all stare at the elevator door.

“You have any weapons around?” Steve asks.

“Oh, yes, because I like keeping guns and knives where anyone can get to them,” Tony snarks. “But I can hold my own when it comes to hand to hand.” Steve gives Tony a look. “What? I’ve been training. Pep grab the kid, there’s a panic room behind the bookcase. Just pull out the bio of Obie.”

Pepper stands and gets ready to gather Sarah up. “I always did wonder why you had that.”

The elevator doors open and everyone in the room gapes as Phil Coulson steps out, the rest of his team stays in place for the moment.

“Okay,” Tony finally says, frowning and pointing at Phil. “Is everyone seeing what I’m seeing, because I’m pretty sure I’m seeing a dead man.”

“Don’t make me start spouting clichés, Mr. Stark,” Phil comments, stepping into the room further. “My state of being is not the issue here. I’ve come to speak to Captain Rogers. We saw the news.”

“I don’t think you can help me there, Agent,” Steve says, glancing to where Sarah is still quietly coloring.

“No, but we do have more information. And someone you might want to speak to about it.”

Everyone in the elevator clambers off and steps aside to reveal one more person standing at the very back. Bucky. H...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:55 • More • Comments
Part one

"She’s yours and Bucky’s,” Tony says. “I don’t know how or why, but DNA doesn’t lie.”When they’d returned to New York, Steve had immediately taken Sarah to Bruce and Tony for tests. They’d taken blood and checked her out as quickly as possible before Steve took her to the room he’d used before and put her to bed. JARVIS is keeping an eye on her. Nat and Sam had found information on her in the lab, and JARVIS is also decrypting that data. Steve doesn’t question how Tony got a hold of Bucky’s DNA. More than likely HYDRA had it somewhere in the information that Nat let loose upon the world.

“I may have a partial answer,” JARVIS intones. “It seems that after Captain Rogers’s transformation, the SSR took samples from him to see if they might be able to re-create the serum. With HYDRA infiltrating SHIELD, it is likely they had a mole in its predecessor and therefore access to Captain Rogers’s DNA.”

“But why a child?” Steve asks. “Why would anyone do that?”

“The perfect soldier,” Bruce says softly. Steve turns to look at him and Bruce shrugs apologetically. “You said that Zola did something to Barnes. My guess is some version of the serum if he survived that fall. His serum-enhanced DNA combined with your serum-enhanced DNA… an evil organization’s wet dream. And with a child, they could mold it, her, into anything they wanted.”

Steve takes all of that in. Sarah won’t face that now. Steve is going to make sure she has as normal a childhood as he can give her. “What next?” he asks.

Tony makes a gesture with one of his arms. “Totally up to you, Cap. We could put her up for adoption…”

“No. She’s mine. I don’t care what it takes or how much it costs, she’s mine. You make that happen, Stark,” Steve interrupts.

“Whoa, slow down there, Rogers,” Tony replies, wit...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:51 • More • Comments
Summary: Steve and Bucky both wanted families. This isn't how they'd pictured it going.
Spoilers: Winter Soldier
Disclaimer: Not mine, no infringement intended.
Author's notes: Inspired by this, which of course, was linked to me by Rainee, who as always, did her usual upstanding beta work.




It’s been three months since Bucky pulled him out of the Potomac. Three months of Steve and Sam trying to find Bucky. Three long, trying months of taking down an enemy Steve had thought gone. They’ve barely spent any time at home.

Not that Steve really has a home. He’d woken up and spent the first few months in this new century in a SHIELD apartment. After Loki and Chitauri, he’d gone on a short road trip along the East Coast. Then Fury had put him in D.C. Now, Tony lets them spend a night or two in the Tower. He says anytime Steve wants; he’s got an apartment there permanently. Sam too. Sometimes Steve bunks down in Sam’s spare bedroom.

But Steve knows it is for the greater good, taking down HYDRA. And he isn’t alone. They’ve been getting reports about other bases being taken down. Valuable intel and assets are left for agents to find. Bucky is out there doing some cleaning of his own. Steve can’t help but wonder when Bucky will be back in his life again.

That’s how he spends his down time. He takes advantage of Tony’s very large gymnasium, punching bags and thinking of Bucky. He is planning on doing that when Natasha calls. He answers because a phone call means more intel on HYDRA bases. If it is social thing, Nat would have texted.

“There can’t be information already,” he says in way of greeting.

“Hello to you, too, Steve. And yes, there is. There wasn’t much there, but what we’ve uncovered is disturbing.” If Nat thinks something is bad, then it’s probably ten time...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:48 • More • Comments
Summary: A day in the sex life of Steve, Darcy and Bucky
Spoilers: none really
Disclaimer: not mine, no infringement intended
Author's Notes: I really just wanted to write OT3 pegging fic


Darcy trembled as her orgasm subsided. Steve groaned, shuddering as he came, his fingers digging into her hips. She’d have bruises for days, but she didn’t mind so much. She looked up, watching as Bucky fucked into Steve a few more times before biting his lip and coming. Darcy marveled at how this had become her life.

She’d been with Steve and Bucky for a year and a half now. It had been weird at first, trying to balance everything, but they’d made it work. And god knows they made her happy. Happier since they started sleeping together. The two men had shown her things she’d only read about in books.

Okay, magazines.

Fine, fanfic.

But she still felt like something was missing. Bucky and Steve were great. She loved them. And they loved her. The day they told her that had been pretty epic. But she always felt like sometimes she wasn’t enough. Steve and Bucky had history. What they had reminded Darcy of that Veronica Mars quote; it spanned decades and continents, involved bloodshed and ruined lives.

“What’s with the face, doll?”

Bucky’s voice in her ear brought her out of her reverie. “Nothin’.”

“Didn’t look like nothing. Looked like too much thinkin’ for someone who just had… how many orgasms?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I lost count,” she admitted, cuddling into him. Steve came out of the bathroom and lay down in front of her.

“So what were you thinking about, Darce?” he asked.

She thought about saying nothing again, but they knew her too well. “You two. And us.”

“Mmmm, good thoughts then,” Bucky said.

“Very,” she agreed. “Come on, sleep now, I have to be up way too e...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:38 • More • Comments
“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve said, watching as the ocean got closer and closer. “I have no idea where we are, or even if there is land close by.”

“Go on, punk. Get outta here. We left the door open, you can fly out of here,” Bucky said, looking grimly at the console.

Steve gaped. “Are you kidding me? All of that yelling about going off and doing things just because I have wings and now you want me to leave you here to die?!? What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking you get to live, maybe find Carter, have a family. One of us should have that, Stevie.”

“Buck…” Steve sighed. “No, I’m staying. We said we were together until the end of the line. I meant it. Did you?”

“Course I did, Stevie. I… why would you stay?” he asked.

“Love you, Buck. Know you love me, too. ‘Sides, I think Schmidt got one of my wings,” he turned so Bucky could see the torn and bloody feathers on the right side.

“Christ, Steve, why didn’t you say?” Bucky reached for the wing, stroking it softly.

“Come on, let’s get down under the console, maybe we can survive the crash long enough to be rescued,” Steve replied, ignoring Bucky’s worried look.

They huddled under the console, Steve using his wings to surround Bucky. They closed their eyes as the plane plunged beneath the icy waters. When the cold of the sea hit them, they shivered in each other’s arms. Bucky’s teeth chattered. Steve’s wings ached. Too soon the dark of night descended and Steve’s feathers began to ice over.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“Never thought the end of the line would be so cold.”

“Me either, Buck.”

A few hours later and Steve couldn’t get Bucky to talk. Bucky’s breathing was shallow. Steve heard a rattle in his own lungs, one that was too damn familiar. He was ready to meet God, to answer for any and all of ...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:32 • More • Comments
“Come on,” Steve said, moving swiftly but carefully back to the door they had left open. “I think we’re over Greenland. This thing is heading straight for the ocean. I think I can fly us to safety.”

“Are you sure, Steve?” Bucky asked, struggling to fight gravity as the plane continued to plummet to the ocean.

“Not really, but it’s got to be better than drowning. But no matter what, Buck, I’m with you til the end of the line.”

“I’d rather the end not be in Davy Jones’s locker, thanks.”

Steve laughed as they reached the open door. Bucky clung to him and he launched himself out of the plane. They hovered in the air for a moment, watching as the plane crashed into the water. Then Steve flapped his wings and they were off. They found a tiny spit of land where they huddled together for the night. In the early dawn they were spotted by a fisherman who took them to his tiny village. From there Steve made twice daily forays to see if there were rescue ships sent out.

On the fifth day he spotted one.

Howard Stark greeted them both with open arms. Peggy just cried. They sailed back home without much further fanfare. Two days after their return, all of the papers published a photo of Steve standing on the deck of the ship, wings extended, Bucky standing by his side.

WHAT HAPPENED TO CAPTAIN AMERICA? IS CAPTAIN AMERICA THE RESULT OF HYDRA EXPERIMENT?

A hastily put together press conference settled fears and explained what had happened. Steve and Bucky toured the country again, minus the chorus girls. It was during the tour that the effects of Zola’s serum manifest. They’d already figured out Bucky had strength and healing like Steve. They also both figured they might live much longer lives because of the healing. But one night, after the stop in Denver, Bucky was undressing and discovered he had a tail. A very prehensile tail similar to a chimpanzee. What they did with the t...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:30 • More • Comments
Spoilers: Captain America: The First Avenger
Summary: The serum gave Steve something other than a bigger and better body
Disclaimer: not mine, no infringement intended
Author's Notes: I can't remember what gave me the idea for this, but I really thought Steve with wings was an awesome idea



Doctor Erskine had told Steve some of what to expect from the upcoming experiment. He would likely step out of the machine with a better body, a much bigger body. If he survived the process. That part was still very iffy. But Steve was resolute in his decision to go through with this. If it meant that he died, well, he was mostly okay with that. Bucky would curse him to hell and back, but Steve had left a letter for Buck just in case.

If Steve was going to be truthful, Bucky was about half the reason he was going through with this whole thing anyway. Yes, he wanted to do his part and be able to go and fight like every other guy he knew; but he also wanted to be where Bucky was. They were more than just friends. Neither of them had said anything when Bucky left but the lingering goodbye hug and the gentle teasing had said everything they needed to say.

So when the two halves of the machine closed in around him, Steve sent a prayer to God and the Holy Mother and anyone else who might be listening that he’d make it through the experiment so he could see Bucky again. The pain was unbearable and he couldn’t help the screams that were torn from his throat. But he managed to shout to Peggy – who he’d heard yelling to stop the process – that he could do this.

He felt every stretch of bone and muscle, every molecule of his body straining to turn him into the perfect soldier. The worst pain was from his back. He imagined his spine lengthening and shoulders shifting outward. There was final moment of blinding pain and then nothing. Except for something tickling at his nose. He twitched it and it went away.

He could ...
Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:29 • More • Comments
Summary: Bucky's mouth inspires obsession
Spoilers: none really
Disclaimer: not mine, no infringement intended
Author's Note: This is basically an ode to Sebastian Stan's mouth

Steve may be a little obsessed with Bucky’s mouth.

He finds himself watching Bucky talk, laugh, smile and frown. He really can’t help himself.

Steve loves the way the corners tick up in shyness when Bucky thinks no one is looking. The way one corner exaggeratedly goes higher when Bucky smirks. The shape of the pout when Bucky doesn’t get his way. The way his mouth forms Steve’s name in a thousand ways that mean a thousand things.

Steve might even get a little bit hard when Bucky bites his bottom lip nervously. Or when Bucky sticks a perfect pink tongue out to lick his lips. Or when Bucky wraps his mouth around the opening of a beer bottle. Steve may have had dreams about having Bucky’s lips wrapped around something else entirely.

All of Steve’s dreams and fantasies come true the day Bucky looks at him, with a shy smile and a wicked gleam in his eyes. Then Bucky’s mouth is on Steve’s. Bucky’s lips mold against Steve’s. Steve kisses back, wishing this moment didn’t have to end. Then Bucky pulls back with a grin. His lips form the sweetest words ever to be said in the English language.

Posted: 19 Nov 14 17:23 • Comments
IllustrationIllustration
Posted: 1 Nov 14 18:59 • Comments
I think it's pretty safe to say, with the slate of upcoming movies, that my MCU obsession is not going to wane any time soon.

*breathes into paper bag*
Posted: 28 Oct 14 16:16 • Comments
Liam turned 16 today.

I refuse to believe this. I won't allow it. I am putting my foot down.

*sobs quietly in the corner*
Posted: 9 Oct 14 23:04 • Comments
Summary: Clint and Darcy get stuck on an alien ship. Darcy might get a little paranoid.
Spoilers: none really
Disclaimer: not mine, etc
Author's notes: written for spockside as a pinch hit in Avengersfest 2014. with thanks to xdawnfirex

 

In the grand scheme of things, Clint should have known that anything involving Tony Stark was a bad idea.

Sure, joining the Avengers was good, because now he had a whole team of super powered people to back him and Nat up. Don’t get him wrong, he loved SHIELD, but being a sniper (and one who used Paleolithic weaponry) wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be. He was thankful to Phil (who he missed like a limb) for taking him away from the military, who didn’t know exactly what to do with him, and making him the man he was today.

Clint had turned down Tony’s offer to live in the Tower. Having all the Avengers in one place? Not a great idea and Clint enjoyed his privacy. His apartment building was run down, sure, but it was close to a pizza place and his neighbors didn’t care that he was gone for months at a time or that he had odd hours. So when he had to go to the Tower to collect various files and papers, Clint was guarded.

Tony and Bruce and Foster, all in one place, practicing science? A recipe for disaster. The one redeeming factor was Foster’s assistant, Lewis. Clint steered his thoughts away from Darcy as JARVIS opened the elevator onto the floor with the labs. There was a muted excitement humming amongst the junior lab rats and Clint was curious.

“What going on?” he asked as he stepped into Tony’s lab.

“Jane thinks she may have finally got it,” Darcy answered him with a wide smile. “We’re checking the numbers again, but we may have Thor back in a few minutes.”

“That’s good,” Clint replied, leaning against the doorframe. “Mind if I watch?”

Darcy handed Foster some papers and then sidled ...
Posted: 30 Sep 14 13:45 • More • Comments
Spoilers: none really
Summary: Darcy likes Bruce. Bruce likes Darcy. Neither one says anything until they are forced into a situation beyond their control.
Disclaimer: not mine, etc.
Author's notes: Written for Illustrationy3llowdaisi3s . My contribution to the Darcy is Tony's daughter trope. With thanks as always toIllustrationxdawnfirex .




Her father was a billionaire, yet Darcy’s mom still made her do chores, go to public school and work part-time if Darcy wanted to buy her own things. Her step-dad said it was to build character. She wasn’t sure she believed him, but loved it despite herself.

Darcy knew the man whose DNA she carried. She knew how he and mom met. She knew he wanted to do right by her mom when she found out about Darcy. But Darcy also knew it was for the best that his name didn’t appear on her birth certificate.

That’s what happened when you were the only child (so far) of Tony Stark.

Tony was involved in Darcy’s life and not just financially. They e-mail, have bi-weekly phone calls (when Pepper reminds him) and Skype for the big occasions. He’s there for her a lot. Pepper was like a second mother and JARVIS was another sibling; the wise and deceivingly snarky older brother to balance her two younger step-bros.

Tony tried to steer her to MIT and other colleges but couldn’t complain when she chose Culver. She was devastated when he was captured but managed to keep it under wraps. Pepper kept her updated. When he came back one of the first thing he did ...
Posted: 30 Sep 14 13:40 • More • Comments
part one
When they got back to camp, Bucky was absolutely desperate to pull every layer of clothing from Steve’s body and see exactly what Howard fucking Stark did to his man. Fuck anyone who wanted to throw him in jail, damn him to hell or say something about him loving Steve. Phillips came over and inspected the troops before walking off. Then this dame - and boy she was one hell of a gal - stepped up and gave Steve a look before telling him off.

And Steve flirted.

Bucky’s heart damn near broke right then and there. Steve fucking Rogers, who used to get pink all the way from his ears to his chest if a girl even looked at him, was FLIRTING with a woman who looked like she belonged on the nose of a bomber. Bucky knew he was frowning. But when Steve looked back at him, he smiled. Then Steve turned back and it was all Bucky could do not to fight his way through the crowd behind him to go and throw up. Somehow, he managed to give a shout of “Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

As the crowd finally dispersed he escaped to the edge of camp. He punched a tree. Steve didn’t need him any more. That first night in the woods? It was a fluke. And Bucky would swallow it all down because Steve deserved this. Steve deserved to have the girl and the happy ever after. He managed to avoid Steve for the next few days.



They were moved back to England for a bit, a chance to relax and be just men. Steve got locked away with the top brass for debriefings. Apparently he saw a map while rescuing Bucky or something. Bucky was missing him. If pressed he would deny that vehemently. All the men made plans to meet in a local pub and Bucky would be there, drowning his sorrows. He’d mostly –mostly – gotten over what happened at camp. But to his surprise, Steve joined them.

Bucky sat at the bar, slowly sipping at some damn fine whisk...
Posted: 27 Sep 14 08:32 • More • Comments
Spoilers: The Winter Soldier
Summary: Bucky will do anything and everything for Steve
Disclaimer: Not mine, no infringement just for fun.
Author's Notes: This was started back in May, but was put on the back burner because of my soul mate series. But Bucky is very insistent. Tldr; I have a lot of Bucky Barnes feels, ok? With thanks as always to xdawnfirex for her beta work.

It looked like any other neighborhood in Brooklyn, but once someone really stopped there for a while, people began to realize what was different about it. Bucky could give two flying fucks that this was where the so called “deviants” lived. They were his friends, his family, and the people who took Steve and him in when Steve’s ma finally had to go to the TB ward and Steve got kicked out of their apartment.

Bucky found them another one cheap, in this neighborhood. He ignored his ma’s insistence that if he went there, he’d turn into one of those “awful people, James. You’re courting hell, James.” He was with Steve, there to watch over the jerk in case he continued his pattern of fighting anyone and everyone who was bigger than him. That wasn’t a hard thing to be as Steve weighed a buck ten at most and wheezed like a squeezebox just going up three steps.

Bucky’s been half in love with Steve from the moment they met. Seeing this pint-sized kid take on older and bigger kids sparked something in him, and now he was always looking out for Steve. He tried to include Steve in all the things he did, from movies to dancing to double dates where Bucky usually ended up with both girls. Steve said he didn’t mind. Bucky only went along because he didn’t want to treat Steve like he was different. He had needs like any other guy, but he always went home to Steve. Bucky hovered because the God Steve prayed to every night was a fickle bastard who gave Steve a body that didn’t match his heart. He cared because the God he no longer believed in was a so...
Posted: 27 Sep 14 08:24 • More • Comments
Illustration
Illustration
Illustration

 Today my baby girl starts kindergarten. *cries* I can't believe it. Seems like just yesterday I was bringing her home. And last week Liam started HIGH SCHOOL. He's a FRESHMAN. *cries more* Where do I press the pause button on life?
Posted: 18 Aug 14 08:41 • Comments
When I saw the news first pop up on Twitter, all I could think was that it had to be a hoax. When it was confirmed, I spent the rest of the night sobbing. There are so many people who never knew him personally, but I think for many of my generation, we grew up with Robin Williams in our lives. So for us, it's almost like losing a member of the family.

I first knew him as Mork. There was Ferngully, Dead Poets Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, Aladdin, The Birdcage and Good Will Hunting. And my favorite performance, Hook. To try and pin him to one genre would be like trying to cage the wind. Yes, there was great laughter, but there was also great pain. I don't think you have to look very hard to find the later.

Depression is an insidious thing. It lurks in the mind every second of every day. It tries to tell you that the world, the people in your life, would be better off if you weren't in it. Depression is not something you just get over. There is no cure. It is something that you struggle with every moment. There are better days and there are bad days. Even if you have some of the best reasons to stay here (and I know I do), you still struggle to fight back the darkness.

If you, or someone you love is struggling, please get help. No matter where you are, there are people who will listen. Here is a link.
Posted: 12 Aug 14 08:57
Part one
The morning is cool enough that Sam throws on a sweatshirt before heading out on his morning run. He’s fine until some asshole, who is vaguely familiar, continues to pass him with the comment of “On your left.” Finally Sam has had enough and speeds up trying to catch him, but all it does is make him winded. He makes his way to a tree, where he collapses. He’s busy trying to catch his breath so he doesn’t notice when said asshole approaches.

“Need a medic?” the voice asks. Sam looks and laughs even though it hurts. Dude is buff. And Sam is no idiot; he knows who this is. He’s seen the press conferences, the battle footage and the paparazzi photos of Captain America visiting Peggy Carter’s grave. He’s gonna play it cool though, figures the guy’s been through enough without another fan fawning over him.

“I need a new set of lungs. Dude, you just ran like, thirteen miles in thirty minutes.”

“Guess I got a late start,” Steve replies with a smirk.

Sam smirks back. Captain America is funny. Who knew? “Really? You should be ashamed of yourself. Should take another lap,” he says, gesturing to the running path. “Did you just take it? I assume you just took it.”

“What unit you in?” Steve has noticed Sam’s shirt.

“58th Pararescue, but now I’m working down at the VA.” He offers his hand and Steve takes it pulling Sam up from the ground.

“Steve Rogers.”

“I kinda put that together Sam Wilson,” he responds. “Must have freaked you out coming home after the whole defrosting thing.”

Steve nods. “Takes some getting used to. Good to meet you, Sam Wilson.”

Sam isn’t willing to let this opportunity go and relates to Steve soldier to soldier. He thinks for a moment that Steve might be flirting and it kind of rocks his world. Then he gets to recommend Marvin Gaye...
Posted: 28 Jul 14 11:03 • More • Comments
Spoilers: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Summary: Natasha doesn't believe in love, Sam will change that.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no infringement, just for fun.
Author's Notes: Almost 70K words later and we're at the end. With thanks as always to xdawnfirex. Part Nine of the Written in Flesh and Blood series.

Natalia Alianovna Romonova is born in Stalingrad. She remembers nothing of her parents. She is told her birth year is 1928, but no one can tell her a month or a day. All she knows of her childhood is the Red Room. They were her mother and father, they took her in. She is told she is an orphan. Natalia will later think this was the best thing anyone could have done for her. If she has no parents, no family, she cannot make attachments.

They teach her ballet from the time she is three, molding and shaping her body. When she is seven they add gymnastics. At ten she begins the first of several martial arts disciplines. She masters them all with skill and ease. She learns other languages from the moment she enters the Red Room. Besides her native Russian she will be able to speak English, French, German and Spanish before she is let out in the field. She will be able to acquire others quickly as she needs them.

Natalia sees the soul marks on those who teach her, who raise her, and she asks about them. She learns that she will not get one, not yet. She is told that a mark will give her away. She is being trained for secrecy, to be hidden, to be unnoticeable. But they tell her that if she works hard, does as she is ordered, she will be able to leave, to live a normal life and get a soul mark. She should not have believed them.

She learns the art of seduction. Sex as a weapon will become her greatest strength. Her teachers notice her pale skin and flaming red hair, telling her they are her greatest asset. Natalia will wield them well. Her first job is at sixteen. She doesn’t kill, but seduces to achieve her goal. Her ...
Posted: 28 Jul 14 10:53 • More • Comments
Summary: When the accident takes Bruce's soul mark away, things change
Spoilers: Incredible Hulk, Avengers
Disclaimer: Not mine, just for fun
Author's Notes: All things about Dayton and WSU are true. Trigger warning for Suicide attempt. With thanks as always to xdawnfirex. Part Eight of the Written in Flesh and Blood series

Robert Bruce Banner might have been the poster child for the anti-soul mark movement. But not until he reached his teens.

For most of his childhood, everything seems fine. When Bruce is born, his father is working for the military at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio. They are doing studies on radiation and how to weaponize it. Brian also does the occasional guest lecturer job out at the newly-formed Wright State University. Some of Bruce’s fondest memories are of running up and down the corridors of Allyn Hall. (In later years he will become an avid fan of the basketball team and unironically wear a shirt that reads ‘Wright State Football Undefeated since 1968’.) Rebecca, his mother, will take him to see the bicycle shop where the Wright brothers catapulted man into the skies.

It’s the history of the city that first sparks Bruce’s imagination. He wants to learn everything, and does. But that’s when things start to go sour. He hears his father’s ramblings about what Brian’s work may have done to him and in turn to Bruce. Brian starts to lash out. Bruce has seen both of his parents’ marks. He can’t understand why his father is so angry, so full of rage at the one person who is supposed to be his soul mate. When Brian starts to threaten Bruce, Rebecca steps in, resulting in her death.

Bruce watches as her name fades from his father’s arm. He runs, hides, and calls the police. He testifies at his father’s trial. He feels nothing when Brian is sent away and Bruce goes to live with an aunt and uncle. Bruce continues to learn. He focuses on science, on radiation. He w...
Posted: 19 Jul 14 08:40 • More • Comments
Part One
Pepper’s words sting. But she is right. No one else in the world operates like he does. And soon he won’t. The chlorophyll shakes aren’t helping. JARVIS isn’t – can’t – find a replacement for the palladium. He is going to die soon. When Rhodey catches him looking and feeling worse than ever, Tony knows he won’t be able to lie about his condition much longer. He feels bad about lying to both of his soul mates, but it is probably for the best.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Rhodey says.

But Tony thinks he does. He has seen how keeping people close can be damaging. He doesn’t want to risk letting people in like that. He loves Rhodey like a brother, but he will never let the man see him fail. Pepper is the only person who has ever gotten closer than he thought he would let someone get. Now that he’s dying, he’s never going to let her see him fall, either. She means too much to him. Well that had been the plan anyway. But it seems like life had other plans and she’s seen him vulnerable. Tony doesn’t know what to do next. Except drown himself in drink.

He doesn’t drink enough to forget the party, the fight with Rhodey and the fact that Rhodey took off with one of the suits. Those things are like his children. But he could have stopped Rhodey if he really wanted to. Now he’s sitting in a giant ass donut and he has to deal with Fury. He declines an invitation to join the Avengers Initiative. Fury notices the palladium. Rushman turns out to work for the douchebag, and her name is really Romanoff. Fury gets right down to business.

“You’ve been very busy. Made your girl your CEO,” Fury starts. Since when has Pepper been his girl? Tony wants to object but Fury continues. “You’re giving away all your stuff, you let your friend fly away with your suit. Well, if I didn’t know better…”

Tony interjects. “You ...
Posted: 15 Jul 14 13:38 • More • Comments
Summary: Pepper will never let Tony see her mark, until she does
Spoilers: IM 1&2 and Avengers
Disclaimer: Not mine, no infringement, just for fun.
Author's Notes: I've retconned how Tony and Rhodey met. And as much as I adore parts of IM3, I'm ignoring the movie. Part seven of the Written in Flesh and Blood series.

Howard Stark has searched so relentlessly for Steve Rogers that Tony half believes he’ll get the good Captain’s name when he turns eighteen. Tony knows that this is impossible. Rogers is dead, but Howard’s belief and powerful influence can move mountains. Why couldn’t it dictate Tony’s soul mark too?

While Tony can’t see his father’s love directed towards himself, he can see it directed to his mother. He’s always been firm that his parents are soul mates. He doesn’t remember seeing his father’s mark, but he does remember his mother’s. Maria’s mark has been drawn across the length of her forearm. It is a dark black script that looks far too heavy for such a delicate arm.

When he goes to MIT at the age of fifteen, he’s surrounded by people with marks. Yes, there are a handful that don’t have them, but it doesn’t matter. Tony is still naïve enough to believe that the marks mean happiness. He’s never known anyone not to be, but he’s been sheltered. When he graduates in two years, he’s even more desperate to know the name that will appear on his skin. He wants to love like his parents do. He vows that his love will also extend to his children. When his eighteenth birthday comes and goes without a mark, he falls into a mild depression.

Maria consoles him, reminds him that his mate might not be of age yet, tells him that he just has to be patient. He throws himself into work, building things. He builds DUM-E in his father’s workshop. He doesn’t know why he keeps the thing around, but it might be sentimentality.

The accident devastates him. Howard’s friend, Ob...
Posted: 15 Jul 14 13:28 • More • Comments
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