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Author Feygan


Recent entries from Feygan's Drowning Pool - the blog of Feygan

NOTE: This blog has been rated FR18 by the author. Blog content is not moderated by TtH

Read an Avenger's Stony fic called "Everything is Old Again" and I was kind of liking the whole Broadway, "They totally dig them some musicals" thing going on. It was kind of a sweet, slow romance.

There was some awkwardness, but I was willing to let myself be taken to the end of the story. Right up until I was angry. I'm still a bit upset, and I probably should be. It was just a fanfic. I should be able to shrug things off.

Click for spoilers: Then everything was ruined for me when they had sex for the first time and Steve's like "You're not dirty, Tony. You're clean" and tells him to not use a condom. Really?

I guess I could buy Steve not knowing better -- though not really, because there were advertisements like this:

Donald Duck: condom ad

VD was so bad during World War II that Donald Duck was telling soldiers to use a condom.

So Steve knows that condoms should be used. And Tony Stark ... uh, yeah. Even with regular testing, I don't think he'd blithely decide to not use a condom. At the very least, he should have pointed out to Steve that it's not a good idea to just trust that someone has tested clean.
Posted: 15 Apr 14 03:10 • Comments
Bulgogi (Korean: fire meat), better known as "Korean barbecue" is thin sliced strips of meat marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, onion, green onion, carrot, a bit of sugar, and I like to add black pepper. (I like beef, though you can use chicken, pork, or even fried tofu if you're vegetarian.)

I made this batch earlier in the month and froze it in one of my handy dandy mason jars. So all I had to do today was make some rice and defrost my bulgogi before searing it. Nom nom. I also made some super easy sliced cucumber kimchi in the morning and it was tasty by the time dinner rolled around.

A great way to eat bulgogi, even without rice: Thinly slice some garlic and raw jalepeno (take the seeds out!) and put them on a little plate in two piles, then arrange on separate dishes some green onion kimchi, some spinach salad, and lettuce leaves (I like the purplish topped kind).

Invite some family or friends over and pan fry or grill your bulgogi right before eating. Everyone can make their own wraps. (Split a lettuce leaf lengthwise, then fold in half so it fits in your palm, add a slice of garlic and a slice of jalapeno if you like some kick, add a dab of fermented bean paste if you like, then add a piece or two of bulgogi and fold it up in the lettuce. Pop that baby right in your mouth, and bliss out on deliciousness.) Or pile a few pieces of green onion kimchi on top of a piece of meat and eat them together -- green onion kimchi is great on plain steak too, being salty and sesame and spicy delicious, mm.

Easy cucumber kimchi:
I peeled two cucumbers, then thinly sliced them. I layered them in a large bowl, sprinkling lightly with salt between layers, then covered the bowl and let it sit for half an hour.
I chopped two green onions (I like green onions!) and set them aside. I would have added white onion and carrot, but we didn't have any :...
Posted: 14 Apr 14 01:05 • More • Comments
Ugh, I am going to bed. I've spent a ridiculous number of hours working on my website, but I'm pretty proud of the result :)

Sure, I spent a long time working on it, but now I should just be able to use Semagic to make my posts, and all the sorting and everything else will be handled by the plugins and what-have-yous. And it looks so fancy ^_^ Like I actually knew what I was doing (I know nothing!)

Posted: 11 Apr 14 08:17 • Comments
Whenever I look at titles recommended for me, Netflix keeps pushing all these gruesome exploitation films and really depraved stuff. I keep clicking Not Interested, yet every time I turn around there's more and more gross stuff I want nothing to do with.

Either the Netflix algorithm is screwed up, or I've watched too many dark movies in my life with Netflix. I mean, I don't mind things that push the boundaries a bit, but Netflix is bringing up some really sick and twisted stuff. Very not cool.
Posted: 6 Apr 14 00:32 • Comments
I've read the book, I've watched the movies, and I've enjoyed the Roughnecks animated series, but this ... What the fuck, man? I get it that the target audience is supposed to be men or something, but is there really a reason for all the female nudity other than for fanservice?

This movie had way too many boobs, guys. Seriously. Every other scene not involving shooting bugs involved some woman with her top off, taking a shower, rubbing her boobs, being ogled by the male soldiers, and why? There's no reason for it other than to be gross. At the very least start showing some dicks to be equal opportunity.

The men all wear regular shirts, yet the women wear these formfitting, sleeveless breast-hugging tops. Really? Misogyny much?

"Roughnecks" was such an awesome series that I thought this movie was going to be good, but all I feel is disgusted. Women are more than sexy dolls to be ogled by a bunch of dudes. It's gross, and I can't believe that anyone could say this movie is any good, because it's not.

At the very least, even if they were going to be all sexy times with the ladies and hundreds of boob and ass shots, the makers should have considered how they designed the armor. A boob-hugging breastplate is the dumbest thing imaginable, because one solid punch through the plate and the metal will bend and kill the wearer. It's dumb.

Real talk, the women would more likely wear sports bras and regular armor. Because adding breasts to an exo-suit is unbelievably stupid and threw me right out of enjoying this movie. Plus, why wouldn't the pilots wear armor? Even if it's not the greatest against the bugs, flying shrapnel is a real risk when people are mindlessly shooting at everything they see.
Posted: 30 Mar 14 23:46 • Comments
I hate how terrible most Criminal Minds fic are :/ Whenever I get a craving for some Reid/Morgan or Reid/Hotchner, there's never anything that I like. I don't think that I've ever come across a Criminal Minds slash fic that I've really liked.

It's either ridiculous stalker/rape/drug/"baby boy" fic where the FBI are so incompetent I ... I can't even. Nope. Or it's like 900% Engrishu where I find myself wanting to message the author that no, they aren't someone that can make it without a beta reader, or at the very least some spell check time and Google research.

It makes me sad :(
Posted: 22 Mar 14 05:08 • Comments
Title: Rolling In the Deep
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Chronicles of Riddick/Pacific Rim
Character: Riddick, Vaako
Other Places: AO3.
Summary: The Basilica crashes on a primitive world. The Necros and Riddick have to deal with the natives. And giant monsters.

Over the course of his years amongst the Necromongers Vaako had been introduced to many human societies. There had never been a clear explanation for how humans had spread out so far across the universe, but there were always some similarities between each group.

Galactic Standard was the most common language, and even planets that hadn't experienced offworld visitors in thousands of years had some form of Standard in their history. So it was an oddity to receive the Interrogator's report: the prisoners had never heard even a variation of Standard.

"Are you certain the Mind Probe was calibrated correctly? Perhaps the machinery was thrown out of true during the crash."

Drommich was too well trained to show disdain, but it was a subtle undercurrent. "The machine is calibrated correctly. I was able to pull complete histories from the prisoners' and none of them has any familiarity with Standard. They have been completely isolated. Not even the usual planet pirate assaults."

"Hm." Vaako flicked through the report again. It was always odd to see entire lives distilled into formally worded summaries, the emotion stripped away to leave the reader to guess at the driving force behind each decision.

The prisoners had not only never been introduced to Standard, but they had no experience whatsoever with anything beyond the gravity of their little planet. They had existed completely cut off from the rest of the universe.

Vaako swiped his finger across his Screen, skimming the report for anything useful. Other researchers were examining this same report and would be developing pla...
Posted: 3 Mar 14 20:32 • More • Comments
I write with Scrivener, which makes it very convenient to search through all the documents in a project. The search box in the top right corner does not just search the page you're looking at, it searches the entire binder.

I have a tendency to double up my the's. It has a lot to do with wordwrap and the fact that my brain sometimes refuses to see what I'm looking at. Which makes the search function a big help.

So if you too go around doubling your words, it doesn't hurt to run the occasional search of your problem words. It's better than blindly trusting that you'll catch every instance in editing.

As you can see, I used "the the" 16 times.
Posted: 1 Mar 14 05:29 • Comments
I was going to write about this article I read, "How Much My Novel Cost Me," but I was worried that it made me sound like a whiny bitch.

It's about this young woman that received a $170,000 advance, found out her book probably wasn't going to be a big success, and blew through the money anyway ($1700 single bedroom apartment, dinner out, buying fancy things, treating other people to coffee and meals to show off how rich she was). Then the writer was all sad-faced and poor, mooching off of her boyfriend who she describes in glowing terms, but with a sense of hidden spite.

Anyways, she retreats to a cabin in the woods, writes a big long rambly "This is another story all about me, just like my unsuccessful first novel," and immediately received a $30,000 advance that magically pays off all her debts and saves her butt.

I wouldn't have minded the long (LONG!) author whine if I had gotten a sense that she'd learned her lesson. I don't feel like that at all. I'm left feeling disgusted and discombobulated and I wish I hadn't read the article because it made me unhappy and even though I don't know her and I've never read anything else by her, I find myself actively disliking that author. Like with malicious intent, which is definitely not a head space I want to be in.

TL; DR, basically, it was a purposely misleading article title. I thought it was going into an article about real problems facing writers, and instead it was part of her $30,000 manuscript and it was very "Me, me, me" and depressing. More about a young woman that was irresponsible with her money than any real problems facing writers. She came across as an over-privileged white woman from affluent parents that paid for her college and gave her everything she ever wanted when she was young. As a fuck you very much to her family, she grew up and proceeded to write bitchy posts about all of them on her "highly successful" blog. It was bad enough that once her book came ...
Posted: 27 Feb 14 15:01 • More • Comments
Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about the life I want to live someday. I have to be like, "Whoa, stop, slow your roll. You need to focus on the now if you want to see that future for real."

It's hard though. I think that I'm one of those people that needs a business manager. Someone that can handle all the details and make my ideas come to life, because I don't have that kind of focus. Someone that can act as the boss and make sure I stay on task, because without an authority figure I find myself drifting when I should be working.

I'll hire somebody when I've got the money.

"You need to spend money to make money." - True facts.
Posted: 26 Feb 14 02:35 • Comments
My brother bought this fancy soil months ago, and now I'm finding horribly freaky bugs around the house. I'm pretty sure I saw a millipede. I've got a kill on sight protocol in place, but it's still very gross and I'm really not happy.

I want a green house, a large outdoor food garden, a storage shed/workshop, and to pay off all my debt and help pay off the house. I also want the money to help those kids have good stuff in their classroom.


Dude, I am trying hard to write, but I've put tons of stress on myself. Still, I keep cranking away toward my daily word goals. I weep for myself most pitifully.

So there's this. The start of Chapter Eighteen of Off to See the Wizard. Unfortunately, I'm not liking the angle of this. I think I might do a rewrite. I don't feel like the Scooby Gang should have crossed over. I don't feel comfortable with them there.


He couldn't breathe.

He'd honestly started thinking he was going to be in this world forever, yet here was Willow. His beautiful red haired girl that he had and always would love forever.

When she wrapped her arms around him, he felt as though he were coming home. "I missed you," he whispered.

She pulled away enough to give him some seriously tragic eyes. "You left the world when no one was looking. You're not allowed to do something like that."

"I'm sorry," he said honestly. "It wasn't part of my grand plan."

Willow hugged him tightly. "It wasn't part of mine either. I'm so glad you're all right."

He had a sudden suspicion, but that was as near as she would get to a confession. Strangely, he was all right with that. She was his Willow-girl forever.

"Well, this is charming and all, but maybe there should be some introductions?" Oz pulled away from Willow, though she refused to release his hand and looked at Xander.

He was surprised to see the pirate patch, but it d...
Posted: 22 Feb 14 04:30 • More • Comments
Sometimes I go on and I look around at all the projects and pick and choose the ones I want to share on social media or my website.

I tend toward the high poverty school districts and the teachers that are asking for the most reasonable things. The teacher from the expensive neighborhood asking for 40 iPad Airs for her fourth graders? Pshaw. I would rather give my money to the teacher desperately requesting coloring crayons for her group of first graders or the teacher that needs classroom books or new student chairs.

I gravitate toward the Project of the Day, because it tries to find the classrooms most in need. Under the search, I aim toward Highest Poverty and Closest to the Finish Line. They're usually teachers that are $50 or less to their goal, where my little bit of money does the most good, or their projects are about to expire and they need the most urgent help.

There's something great about helping children receive the things they need to learn. Especially children that aren't receiving the state funding that they so desperately need. And while some children are receiving the best the world has to offer ... there are others that need some colored paper or markers.

And that's why is my charity of choice.

They show exactly where the money is going and I can rest easy knowing that I've actually done some good for kids in need. They have a conscientious oversight committee and transparent practices (there's none of that 10% to the charity, and the rest of the money lining the pockets of greed). And Stephen Colbert and Oprah have both given it the thumbs up bump.
Posted: 10 Feb 14 18:59 • Comments
I posted a comment on someone's blog, then decided not to share the post on my Twitter.
I write stories well, but in a live conversation I come across as a complete airhead.
Sometimes I think that I might have Aspbergers, but honestly, who the hell cares?
I wake up in the morning like normal people.
I go to sleep at night.
If there's something going on in my head, why should anyone else care?
Unless I'm violent, my mental state should be between me and my mental health care professional.
What gives anyone the right to judge me?
Ignore my clothes.
Ignore my fat.
Ignore the way I talk.
Ignore my shyness.
Ignore the way I always wear a hat.
I think, therefore I am.
My feelings are true and valid.
I don't want everyone in the world to know how weird I am.
I don't want to live and die alone, and yet I crave my solitude.
I regret without being regretful.
I don't share my every thought on Twitter.
Just most of them.
Posted: 31 Jan 14 01:49 • Comments
Title: Rolling In the Deep
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Chronicles of Riddick/Pacific Rim
Character: Riddick, Vaako
Other Places: AO3
Summary: The Basilica crashes on a primitive world. The Necros and Riddick have to deal with the natives. And giant monsters

The further Riddick went, the more displeased he became. He found himself wanting to echo the hellhounds' growling breaths.

The scavengers had done more damage than he'd expected. Panels were stripped and wires dangled. Gold alloy had been peeled from the walls and furnishings. Cabins had been robbed of their treasures, from cushions to every piece of technology.

Not only had his territory been invaded, the violators had stolen from him. And they had dared to think that what was his was theirs for the taking.

"Move faster," he ordered.

He could hear more of the rats up ahead, industriously stripping the ship of anything they deemed valuable. It was only a matter of time before they realized they had lost contact with their fellows. It might make the fighting better, but Riddick preferred to take them unawares.

For all he knew, there was a whole planet they would have to fight their way through. He didn't have the Necros to spare on playing.

One of Precious' sisters growled warningly and Riddick shifted aside in time to avoid the bullet that would have gone through the left side of his head. His lips pulled back from his teeth in a fierce caricature of a smile and he turned and flung a knife.

There was a startled yelp and the male soldier ducked behind the gutted remains of a comconsole. Riddick smelled the rich copper of blood, but it had only been a surface wound, just enough to sting and burn.

Precious and her sisters separated and approached the console from both sides. There was a chainsaw growl and a terrified scream. The man leapt over the conso...
Posted: 20 Jan 14 22:10 • More • Comments
I finally saw Kick-Ass 2 and I was so disappointed.

Chris DeMico needed some serious mental health help that he didn't receive. Kick-Ass was very meh in my opinion; he definitely should not have been the main focus of the movie. There wasn't enough Hit-Girl, and what there was wasn't on a par with the first movie (she was a little girl with a gun and martial arts skills; now she's a big girl going hand-to-hand with a human tank. Really? Where's the smarts?) and everything else was Mindy finding out that high school girls are mean.

I don't know. I was disappointed and I fast-forwarded through large sections of the movie for being completely stupid.

Kick-Ass had a bad guy, there was a plot, there wasn't so much focus on teenaged wangst, and what there was could quickly be fast-forwarded past. Kick-Ass 2 is a lot of sex oh my goshes, puke and poop, and dogs trained to bite off wieners. Plus there was no fun music and everything felt very watered down and blah.

It could have been better. It wasn't.

* * *

I'm late getting out Jagged Blade. Why? Because that's how I am.

I set up what stories and vignettes were going to go in, but I'm having second thoughts about some selections. There's a few pieces I want to remove and a few I want to add, which involves some cleaning up and rearrangement of the index.

Still, I'm proud of how things are coming together. I think it's going to work.

* * *

I've about got updates ready for "Rolling In the Deep," "Faster Than the Speed of Love," and "Little Bit Strange But Still Special."

Real life has kept me from working on some stories, but I haven't given up. I'm still plugging away at my WIPS. I'm just really slow about it.
Posted: 16 Jan 14 04:53 • Comments
IllustrationI've been showing this off everywhere. I am so excited.

Here's the cover for Shorts and Squares: Jagged Blade.


Here's an excerpt from "Bird of Paradise," one of the Squares:

Candles flickered while incense burned. Paradise kept her bandaged face turned to the wall no matter who came to visit. She felt like a hideous monster as the bruises healed back into flawless flesh, yet her marred face was destined to remain a gruesome sight with the thick gash slashed out of her cheek.

The trainees brought her trays of food that she largely ignored. She picked at the tastes she enjoyed while feeling incapable of gathering the energy to even bother with the less tasty foods. She was tired of ashes in her mouth.

Paradise hugged her legs against her chest and closed her eyes. She would give herself a couple of days in which to feel worthless, then she would pick herself back up again and get back to the living of her life. No longer an Elite Courtesan, but still a member of the Pleasure Guild. The Matron would find her a position, or if she chose to retire there would always be her monthly stipend.

Once again she cursed Lord Gentle Valor and his mad desire to see her bleed. If she concentrated, she thought she could still hear the sound of his mad laughter as he'd carved up her flesh. She'd screamed so loudly she'd damaged her throat, but at least the guards had rushed in to save her life.

Her career was destroyed, but she would live. She would let that be enough.

I will not be defeated by such a mindless beast, she vowed. She was stronger than anything he had done to her.
Posted: 14 Jan 14 00:25 • Comments
Title: Rolling In the Deep
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Chronicles of Riddick/Pacific Rim
Character: Riddick, Vaako
Other Places: AO3
Summary: The Basilica crashes on a primitive world. The Necros and Riddick have to deal with the natives. And giant monsters.

Having watched events play out across the Screens, Vaako had the interrogators prepped and ready to go when their guests arrived. He'd already sent more troops Riddick's way, having learned to lip read years ago.

It felt good to be on top of the Lord Marshal's orders. It was why he was the First Among Commanders.

He examined the record of those last few minutes before the Basilica had been sucked into the blue planet's gravity well. They'd been stationed close to the Threshold in preparation of launching the Lord Marshal's shuttle. A ship had moved out of position and struck them with a gravity lance. They'd been betrayed.

Anger churned through Vaako as he thought of someone daring to commit such an act of treason.

Challengers were an accepted part of life and a fast track to higher rank. A fight to first blood for lower ranks or a fight to the death for higher ranks, but this was a betrayal of everything the Necromongers stood for.

To interfere with the Lord Marshal's Test was heresy. All those responsible for such treason would be punished for their crimes as befitted anyone that betrayed the ideals of the Necromongers. Vaako would oversee the executions himself.

He saved his findings to a data crystal and tucked it away for further examination later. He'd let the Decryption Department handle pulling up the evidence needed. Surely the whole crew wasn't guilty, but if they were, they wouldn't be getting away with a plea of ignorance. The Decryptors would break them down and the pieces would be scattered to other ships or sent into the Burn Chambers to have their ashes ...
Posted: 12 Jan 14 22:48 • More • Comments


Beyond Panels: A Comics Fanwork Exchange
fic & art | all comics welcome
nominations Jan 10 | sign-ups Jan 23
A03 | LJ | DW
Posted: 12 Jan 14 20:55 • Comments
Originally posted by Illustrationkitty_fic at Draco Tops Harry Fest is back! <3

Prompting for the Fest is Open!

Art by Illustrationluoo, banner by Illustrationcorona_0304.

Fest Rules | Leave Your Prompts Here | Join
Posted: 12 Jan 14 02:40 • Comments
I have this thing where I use the word "just" way too much in my writing. That and "seriously," but that's not such a big deal.

I am now doing a search for the number of times I use "just" in Allies & Enemies ... and the answer is 555.

That's right. I used "just" 555 times in one novel. That's kind of a lot.

Here, have a tasty excerpt:

Aliens. It was aliens again.

He remembered a time when the thought of aliens brought to mind awkwardly waddling glob-monsters that just wanted to go home. Now he had to deal with aliens that wanted to suck out peoples' brains before absorbing their organic tissue into heaving masses of pink and red ick.

"E.T., go the fuck home!" he yelled, dodging out of the way of a writhing tentacle that burned the asphalt like acid where it hit.

"Why do all aliens have to look like fucking Jell-o monsters?" Caspian asked. He'd been given a dart gun loaded with some kind of chemical that was supposed to render the blob monster helpless, crystallizing its insides or something. Only the darts he'd fired so far had all bounced. Neither one of them was having a good time.

Warrick blasted an oncoming tentacle, freezing it in mid-air. "Not all aliens are blob things," he puffed. "Some of them are hot alien babes sent to seduce strong virile superheroes. Remember Blandromeda? She kept trying to get into my pants. I had to have Lady Arcana give her the girl-talk about why I wasn't into her generous offer."

Caspian snorted. "She was sent to destroy Earth's mightiest heroes by infecting them with space herpesyphilaids. You dodged a bullet, man. Charismo's wiener had to be surgically amputated after it started smoking and melting. Dude's still bitter about it."

"Didn't the Mechanic give him a robo-dick though? Wasn't that good enough?" Warrick froze the tentacles heading toward Caspian, giving him a chance to fire another shot.

The dart bounce...
Posted: 10 Jan 14 22:45 • More • Comments
I am currently obsessed with Metalocalypse slash fic. Nathan/Charles, Toki/Skwisgaar, Pickles/Charles.

It's too bad that it's kind of a small fandom, but god, there's so many good fics.

That's metal
Posted: 6 Jan 14 20:18 • Comments
Posted: 5 Jan 14 07:11 • Comments
I went through and did a rough-edit of A&E. I think I did a pretty good job and I've been patting myself so hard on the back that I may have sprained something :P

Here, have a taste. It's a broment between Warrick, Caspian, and Melissa:

The first time Warrick went out with Melissa--or Blue Devil as she'd been named--Caspian had raised his eyebrows as high as they would go and burst into laughter. Warrick had to glare at him to get him to stop.

They were at their meet up point on top of an old candy factory. There was still the faint scent of burnt sugar and the red and white candy cane striped smoke stacks were rimed with black soot. Warrick couldn't help feeling as though they'd stepped back in time. Back to when they were kids themselves, just starting out and so fucked up and confused that it ached to remember.

"Come on, you're going to give the kid a complex," Warrick said.

Caspian shook his head. "Dude, I thought you vowed to never be the guy that took some kid into a deadly situation?"

"Well, times change," Warrick said. "Besides, she's still got her training wheels on, so we'll try to keep her out of the more hardcore situations until she's ready for it."

"Is Vereint okay with this?" Caspian asked. "He's not worried about something happening to her?"

Warrick shifted his utility belt to stop it cutting into his stomach. "He's worried, of course he is, but he checked to make sure that she could do all the moves suggested by the League training manual."

"No one can say you're not thorough," Caspian said, "so I guess I'm not too worried if you're not." He still looked a little uneasy though, probably flashing back to all the trouble they'd gotten up to when they were young.

"Did you guys forget I was here?" Melissa asked plaintively. She had pulled the black head stocking on, but held her blue mask in her gloved hand.

Caspian gave her head a rough ru...
Posted: 4 Jan 14 02:14 • More • Comments
Just finished writing a 146k novel. Now it's time for the editing (fun, fun! gag). I'm hoping to trim at least 16,000 words, which I can toss into a novella or side-shot.

Also, I saw this really cool thing on ThinkKnow on Al-Jazeera about using mushrooms to create biodegradable packaging and insulation for houses. Mushroom houses. We can totally be like Smurfs, and that's really frickin' cool to me.
Posted: 30 Dec 13 00:21 • Comments
I don't know why, but my face is breaking out all over the place. I've got a zit popping up right on my cheek, another next to my eyebrow, and one on my chin. They just appeared today like some kind of horrible birthday present -- the ugly sweater for my face.

I've been adding stuff to and I've changed the theme around several times. Still, it's coming along. Once I get all the stories posted, my plan is to go back post by post and do cleanups and make pdfs, epubs, and mobi files.

I've got a ton of stuff to be doing, and I've been working around my list of To-Dos. I'm probably not the most efficient with my time, but I'm getting things done. I just need to spend more time with the things that make me money, versus the things that I love.

Reader-mode to writer-mode, and it better be original fiction writer-mode or I'll be living at the bus station by spring.
Posted: 29 Dec 13 05:19 • Comments