Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bluesnowman
Review By [Bluesnowman
] • Date [11 Sep 07] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review By [Bobboky
] • Date [4 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from michaelangelo
I think you meant Vampiro not chupacabra. Aanyway hmm, the feeling I get from this chapter is that it was a plot bunny to a story that you couldn't be bothered writing. It felt rushed and the one hour day was an interesting concept, Xander gets up, dresses, goes to church to pray for an hour and its suddenly sunset.
Try to flesh out the story too and try to avoid fannon *watch a complete season of Buffy and count how many hawaiian shirts he wears*. This could have been a very interesting story but I think it comes off as rushed, disjointed and nothing more than a series of statements. Sorry dude
Comments from author:
Thanks for the constructive criticism; i'm sorry it was rushed. And I'll try to avoid the prolific fannon.
Review By [michaelangelo
] • Date [3 Sep 07] • Rating [1 out of 10]