Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from JinaSolo
I get the move to the SGC, kinda. I wouldn't think that Buffy would trust Riley, but...
What I don't understand is that she does not go under the mountain. That she does not get briefed, and read reports that could not leave the "room"...
And that she does not go through the gate before going by ship. And if she is going to be with Free Jafa, why not gate the whole way... Or, is this Under Cover work?
Is this before or after Atlantis comes to Earth?
Review By [JinaSolo
] • Date [10 Aug 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Gideon
That is a big step for Buffy to move away from all that she has known and go somewhere completely new. Good for her! She obviously was not coping well with where she was at and a change was needed. I hope she told the scoobies she would be out of contact for a while - otherwise Willow might try to find her!
Review By [Gideon
] • Date [14 Jun 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from RevDorothyL
Review By [RevDorothyL
] • Date [7 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from bradsan
you know I stopped reading at the moment I read that you were making this one a Femme slash. But that's personal.
I don´t like Femme slash with Buffy, not that I don´t like lesbian but I can´t picture her gay. I just can´t. She is so hetero. Well I hope you´ll will update for the readers who don´t have a problem with it.
Review By [bradsan
] • Date [30 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from TwoBlackDragons
There actually is a Buffy/Janet pairing but it's the only one I've ever seen. I'd diffidently like to see more Buffy/Janet pairings.http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-20839/acs+Portal+Girl+and+the+Science+Lady.htm
Not rating this yet as the only thing I've read so far are the A/N's for chapter 2.
Review By [TwoBlackDragons
] • Date [7 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Luhh
Look, I'll just give an advice that I should have given you since you started the other fic: Tell every single person that don't like your story to fuck up! Seriously! And this includes me, actually, because while I think your idea IS great, in my opinion you some times don't know how to transmit it so well.
Look, I'm not trying to offend you or anything, it's just an advice. The thing is, the best stories are written when the writer tells what THEY would want to see on a story. If you like the way you write and the plot you made than the story flows and it became great, but if you keep worrying so much with what other people think your story should go, or want it to, than you will end up with a half planed story, without any original thought in it! And you won't like it!
If you write something that you like, if you write FELLING that the story is going JUST the way you want it to, than I guarantee you that you will find people that will like it too.
And if there aren't many that like it, well... So what? The important thing is for you to have FUN with it, isn't?
So yeah, that's it.
Good luck with the rest, I'll be reading to see how you go with it =)
Review By [Luhh
] • Date [6 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from PATM
While I like this story I actually prefer the unfinished story you did in January for the humorous meet up on a whole 'nother planet. The open door with the Scoobies (a name I dislike) is still on too. Carry on with both.
Review By [PATM
] • Date [5 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from aveave
Great beginning. I hope you will write next chapter soon.
Review By [aveave
] • Date [4 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from mmooch
Well, my personal feelings about the way things were left in canon (and I don't consider the comics canon), this definitely seems the more likely way for Buffy to leave the Scoobies. I think they should have groveled profusely when she saved Faith and the Potentials in the tunnels. I'll stop before I get too ticked.
Review By [mmooch
] • Date [3 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Aegis
Okay, what I didn't like?
1) You offer no explanation for exactly what was said and done that Buffy was so upset about. On the show they all followed her like good little lap dogs for years, so I have no idea where you got the whole "order her around" thing from. You did mention the one instance where they didn't, but please, that single scene in 7 years have been so over-dramatized it's not even funny anymore. Not the rest of the gang's best moment perhaps, letting her leave, but Buffy did little more than order them around and then throw a tantrum when they failed to realize the brilliance of her suicide proposal. Anyway, I digress.
2) Tara. The way you mentioned her, I get the distinct feeling that a) she's alive somehow, and b) considering the femslash warning, Buffy will hook up with her, probably sooner rather than later. Perhaps that's not what you intend, but you're clearly overstating Buffy and Tara's relationship and I don't know why. Blaming Willow for her death is just silly, and if we're going to play that game; the bullet was intended for Buffy. Not her fault either. Shit happens, hindsight is 20/20.
3) There is no way in hell Riley would mention top-secret information to Buffy, over the phone no less. He'd never be working for Uncle Sam again for one, and if his immediate future didn't include a firing squad, his immediate and distant future would include concrete walls and metal bars.
4) Buffy's immediate future. She's an untrained civilian. Martial skills is a bonus, but there is no chance that she'd be employed without at least basic training. That she'd receive that training on another planet, in another culture, from people unaffiliated with the US military is not gonna happen.
You want Buffy in a particular scenario, I get that, but you're going about it the wrong way. If you really need her to be there and be there now, skip the whole prologue. Just throw her in there and explain it as you go, in smaller pieces without the details. You'll essentially have the same information, but flash backs of the important bits makes it seem less sloppy than if you try and fail to explain the way between two very distant places on a quarter of a page.
I'd also advise against pointless bashing (#1). If you won't be using any of the characters for the story anyway, you can use any number of excuses for why Buffy would leave. I can't even begin to tell you how often I've read stories with obvious cases of the author inserting his or her own extremely biased opinion of characters in their stories, making them act completely different from anything they've ever done, usually to make another character some sort of tragic hero (I swear, if I read one more story about how Xander literally gets chased out of town by everyone else, at which point he usually gets some ridiculous powers and goes emo, I will have to hurt someone). Don't make that classic mistake when it's so completely unnecessary.
Review By [Aegis
] • Date [3 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from LostDragon
I like this start better than the other I just hope you keep writing the story to a finished ending.
Review By [LostDragon
] • Date [3 Apr 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]