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Review of chapter "The story" from serenityselena
oh my... this sure is a very different and sad ending for the Scooby gang....
Comments from author:
It was intended to be different :) A lot of what happened to most of the gang will be featured in future stories. (I'm only posting once I'm finished though, having learned my lesson from previous stories.)
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [26 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from starshinedown
I really like the idea of this, and will be keeping an eye out for the subsequent stories. Thank you for sharing this story!
Comments from author:
Thank you for reading, I'm glad you liked it.
Review By [starshinedown] • Date [14 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from MBB
A story that is easy to review. Or at least, comment on. ;-)

A hesitated before reading it because it wasn't a crossover show I am familiar with or interested in, but the combination of the rarely used Riley and being in the mood for the detective mystery the summary hinted at made me give it a try.

And I am glad I did. Both the Xander-turning criminal and the Choosen-results backfiring are generally overused and overrated and turn into bashfics one way or the other.
But you made both themes work very well, and turned into a mystery that peeked curiosity and kept the conclusion tight and logical.

And yet the way you used Riley in both his capacities made it a good character fic above all else.

But dispite the praise, at this moment I am not (yet) interested in those stories you promised in this universe. I don't really see how they'd fit plotwise (you already revealed the mystery) or genrewise, or characterwise.

I am however somewhat curious about the Harmony legal case. I initially did not realise it when you mentioned her as 'Kendall vs Fox'. Very tricky. (Are we supposed to know Fox too? )
And you mentioned W&H, so was Gunn there? If so, on which side? (He got along with Harmony, but lost his sister to vampires)? has there been a Legal Blog about it?

Checking your profile I was reminded that you have another story that I was following. (That is on hold...)
Comments from author:
Thanks, this was primarily a Riley character fic, all the other qualifications really were secondary. As for the other stories in this series, well, the thing you have to keep in mind is that this 'verse is a combination of the Buffy and Stargate series. This is the only story where that side didn't show up, because really... Where would they fit in this? They'll be character fics (of other characters) as well, since that's the way I seem to write and think.

I know little to nothing about the Buffy comics, but I distinctly remember something about Harmony getting her own reality show. Here that still happened, with Fox being the network that ordered / transmitted the show. Kendall vs Fox was basically Fox not wanting to pay Harmony because she was a vampire, which turned into a huge legal fight (and yes, W&H got involved as well) that ended up with vampires gaining legal rights. There's a quota in place and vampires have to accept some measure of oversight. Anyhow, this entire legal issue was followed up real well on television, so that suddenly hundreds of nutcases, frauds and idealists started spawning off their interpretation of the supernatural resulting in a branch of science that's referred to as 'nocturnal science'.

As for that other story... Yeah. Dunno how that's going to turn out. NCIS:LA's second season kind of put me off the entire series. And I really shouldn't publish stories before I've finished them.
Review By [MBB] • Date [14 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from link
It's different from what I usually read. Nevertheless, I like it because of its unique plot. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I do try to write differently.
Review By [link] • Date [14 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from spk
Definitely intriguing. Such an interesting idea having Willow's magic taken adn that causing Buffy's death. :)
Comments from author:
It did make sense when I thought of it, yeah. I just figured: magic done on the Hellmouth, that's magic tainted with the Hellmouth. So when something starts vacuuming Hellmouth magic... Willow just didn't stand a chance and through her Buffy and even the expansion of the Slayer line.

Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [spk] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story" from SlowMercury
This was a good framing story--I liked your Riley, and the glimpses of the radically different future that occurred. I also thought your explanation of Xander's actions was inspired. I hope you'll tell us how it worked out for him, and I'm looking forward to reading more of this series.

One problem, though: I found the section at the beginning highly confusing. You give numbers of people on buses, and gave larger and then smaller numbers, but you don't explain who or what happened to the different people, even when it seems that the authorities would have known. (For example, you mentioned that Willow went insane, and I *think* you implied that they left her in LA, but again, I'm not sure.) Then you said the Sunnydale bus survivors "vanished off the face of the earth." I didn't know whether you meant that they'd died, been beamed up in a flash of light, or left under their own power. When Riley specifically mentioned that Buffy was dead, I thought maybe you meant that they all were dead, at least until you mentioned that Giles was out of the country; and then of course Xander showed up in custody. You might want to do some editing to clarify.

Anyway, I am looking forward to reading more of this series!
Comments from author:
Thanks for the extensive comment / review.

Yeah, I know the beginning's a bit confusing in this version of the story. The two rewrites I started explained everything more thoroughly. Downside was, both were boring as hell. So I went with this version instead.

The thing you have to know is that, The fifty year plan nothwithstanding, every other story picks up a different character who focuses on different aspects of this future. We'll see what happened to Willow in The hacker, Dawn's disappearance gets explained in 'The traveler' and 'The scientist' will explain how everything matches up cosmically while hopefully providing a Lovecraftian tale.
Review By [SlowMercury] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from PATM
I'm going over to FFN after I say "I loved this story and despite the grim turn this story has taken with deaths and madness as the option for the episode "Chosen", and pour over the titles you mentioned, I hope they are there.
Comments from author:
I hope you weren't disappointed when you didn't find them. This is the first story of the series that's been written, the other stories still have to be. You'll find summaries on my Google site however in case you're really curious where this series is going.
Review By [PATM] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The story" from Gideon
Not a happy start to a series but an understandable tragedy. It makes sense that those things would follow on from the hellmouth sucking down all the magic it could find. Your story fits well in the criminal minds universe too with Riley trying to understand Xander's behaviour and uncovering the reason for it. I look forward to the other stories in the series.
Comments from author:
Thanks, I wasn't too sure about the Criminal Minds side of things, since all in all they're pretty minor contributions. (In my mind at least.) Riley was Walsh's assistant however, that means he was at least competent in the field. My premise is that he's made it into the FBI's Paranormal Division because of that competence, his experience in the Initiative being just a bonus.

I have to warn you though, every other story will feature Buffy and Stargate characters. Maybe Criminal Minds characters (Prentiss or someone else) will pop up, but that'll be more of a cameo than actual involvement.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The story" from eriktheviking
A well written and intriguing au.
Comments from author:
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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