Review of chapter "Slayer's Song" from Joseph
I think the explanation you gave for Finn being a better first timer was excellent! I don't however agree with how you portray Xander I don't think he would have that problem but I do hope that they get closer.
Review By [Joseph
] • Date [10 May 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Finn Hudson's Guide to Reconnaissance" from SariLane
Review By [SariLane
] • Date [4 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Thing About Coincidence" from RevDorothyL
Interesting concept! I guess I'd be hard-put to think of a guy on TV who'd be less likely to abuse Slayer power than Finn Hudson, all things considered, though I'm a bit perplexed by the sudden admiration-fest for Finn being (apparently) a BETTER Slayer in terms of talent and instinct than any other newbie Slayer (including Buffy, way back when?). That sounds a lot like Finn's being used as a "Marvin Sue" (or whatever the male counterpart of the "Mary Sue" character in fanfic would be called) version of the Slayer.
Just one technical note: the possessive form of "it" is the exception to the rule about apostrophes and the possessive "S"; the possessive form of "it" is therefore simply "its" (while "it's" is reserved as the contraction for "it is" or "it has"). I hope that's helpful.
Comments from author:
First off, you're awesome for simply reviewing and I wanted to thank you. To get past the technical note. I am well aware of that rule but my own personal OCD makes it difficult to follow it. To me, dropping the apostrophe in the possessive form of "it" feels a little abhorrent. Being the exception to that rule, I'm simply bugged by it. I guess I see it as another indication of the deficiency of our language. But you're right, I should set a good example for others. When I find the time, I'll go back through and fix those.
Regarding your meatier concern, I have to say that I struggled long and hard with the inclusion of that conversation. And judging by your pointed and valid concern over Finn becoming some sort of Marty Stu (I think it's Marty Stu anyway), I missed my mark on that one. As this story continues, I can guarantee you that he won't come off like some supreme slaying champion. I mean the whole point of this story for me was that someone who isn't really good at things in general finds himself to be awesome at vampire slaying. I had Giles lay out the technical side of why he's like that, being a representative of sorts for this new line. Also, I figured males might have different strengths and weaknesses inherent to their gender that might alter the scope of their abilities slightly from the female slayers we know and love.
Overall, the reason I chose to keep the conversation scene was more as a plot device for Finn's low self-esteem. I wanted a counterpoint to his negative opinion of himself. It was perhaps ham-handed of me, but the point was NOT to make SuperSlayer!Finn, but to highlight how skewed his own perspective is when it comes to his worth. I hope that's a suitable explanation. But if you have further questions of concerns, I would love to discuss them with you. Thanks again for reviewing my work. It's nice to get some nice constructive criticism.
Review By [RevDorothyL
] • Date [28 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Duffle Bag" from Niklarus
Well, that was certainly...unique. Can't wait for the explanation.
Comments from author:
Thanks, unique was pretty much what I wanted to go with here.
Review By [Niklarus
] • Date [23 May 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]