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Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from CrystalBlaze
I can hardly wait for the first Sunset Genjutsu..
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [7 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from Raider
very nicely done. I do hope jack can tone down their 'flames of youth' antics...*shudders* seriously...grown ***** man in a green spandex suit....*shivers*
Comments from author:
As Jack said when her personal taste in clothes for questions... When you're as bad ass as me, you can wear whatever you like
Review By [Raider] • Date [6 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from Chikageko
Unless this is intentionally part of your AU the blue fire isn't a cloud of Eezo, it's an aurora like the northern lights. Natural matters response to being excited by dark energy just like the auroras are to Ionic energy. Biotic ability comes from clumps of Eezo dust becoming embeded in the nerve fibers of the body causing a benign cancer to swell around them. as you move, think, feel or otherwise use nerves along the path the electro-chemical pulses along the nerves cause the eezo to become charged positively, increasing gravity of a nearby area or negatively, decreasing gravity in a nearby area. As gravity changes mass also appears to change, thus the Mass Effect. Because of this, a biotic can use their powers all day every day with no need to recharge like you wrote, the cooldowns however are just like if you decided to sprint of press some massive barbell. You use basic callories involved in physical effort. what the implants do is they remember useful combinations of nerve pulses, allowing you to learn how to warp gravity faster, They monitor your nervous system and record what happens when you use the cancerous eezo nodes and 'save' useful efforts for quick easy use later. While you can learn without them, it's practically impossible for anyone save an asari or Hanar to gain any real skill of power without them. Amusing Rock Lee even has Eezo in his body anywhere he's got a massive uphill battle ahead of him, again, unless that's specifically a part of your AU.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [6 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from CrystalBlaze

He does. The condition that prevents the cultivation and utilization of his Chakra network is his having Element Zero.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [6 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from Selias
Pretty sure you need to have Eezo nodes in your body to learn biotics.
Review By [Selias] • Date [6 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Young Biotic" from DianeCastle
This has real promise! I look forward to seeing where you go with the story. (As you may already know, I have a weakness for well-integrated crossovers starting from stories that shouldn't fit together.)
Review By [DianeCastle] • Date [6 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kids..." from TTrunks
This story was very interesting. I've played all the games, and it could be very interesting to see Jack and Kakashi intermingle ((She's a semi rebellious badass, who likes to wear revealing clothing. Kakashi is a supposed pervert who is badass, and while good at his job admittedly a not very good teacher.)). Especially since they are both pretty similar in character in a way ((Both were expected to be the best from child hood, both are considered freaks, both have had tough pasts and both have lost friends in a war.))

Not to mention Sakura ((The girl whose major sills are focus will power and insane physical power)) as Jack's disciple.... Scary, especially since Jack would knock some sense upside her head. The idea of a pissed off Sakura pulling a vanguard Rush, Reave, or dark channel.... ((Shivers)) Especially since Sakura and biotics would be amazing from a support role....

I do hope you continue. I almost pity her and Jiriya when they cross paths. The big thing if you continue is to not have her be TOO strong. If she can take out enemies too easily it's not as fun.
Comments from author:
Sorry i can't give Sakura Biotics... i needed a limitor to keep people like Orochimaru from grabbing it, so i am workinga on thea assumption that Eezo contact warps Chakra Coils in the young...

Now the question is, how did Lee come in contact with Eezo
Review By [TTrunks] • Date [1 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kids..." from Rubel
Ooh nice. Very good job capturing Jack's character. I really want to see how she deals with the ninja world and how that world deals with her since her biotic gifts aren't a bloodline and don't use chakra... or do they in your universe? Anyways neat.
Review By [Rubel] • Date [21 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kids..." from Raider
oh this is one story I'd love to see expanded..
Review By [Raider] • Date [21 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kids..." from Chikageko
That would be awesome if you could turn it into a decent story. nice to see you writing again.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [21 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kids..." from TaraLi
Ok - I know it would end the story too damned fast, and I've never played Mass Effect, so I don't really understand the mechanics of the telekinesis effect but...

1) Englobe Orochimaru and crush him in the globe?

2) More effectively - englobe him, shrink it to a minimum size to just contain him, and then split the bubble in half?

3) Or just make a bubble that half-contains him, and separate the top of his body from the bottom?

I suppose I really should play the game one of these years to get these kinds of answers...
Comments from author:
you don't get 'Hard' effects from the Biotics, you end up with 'Fields' that offer different effects, 'Push' 'Pull' 'Crush' 'Rend' being the most common, while she could pick him up and crush him, there would be no hard shield in place to keep him from escaping.

their power is actually closer to the force powers than anything else, and Jack was considered something special for the 'Amount' of power she could throw around, hell she even impressed people that had been using it for a thousand years, and while they were 'Better' at using it, she would just overpower them and beat them down.
Review By [TaraLi] • Date [21 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kids..." from trongod
Personally, I'd love to see Jack take over team Seven, even as she receives training from the Hokage. That way the kids get, you know, training on things they should have had LONG before; jack gets the attention and extra training she needs; and Kakashi can go to hell or chase that stupid cat, or /anything/ other than actually dealing with people - something he's proven he can't do worth a burp in a tornado.

...OK, maybe I do think the guy's a waste of time, space, and effort...

Would love to see Naruto adopt the newest Crazy Powerful Lady as his big sister; maybe Anko comes in because jack kicked the Snake's butt, which is somethind the Special Jounin wants to do and help with more on later...
Comments from author:
if it happens it won't be soon, even as nice a guy as the third was i can't see him letting a stranger with untold powers and no link to the village just show up and take over training the descendants of his successor and the last member of a once prestigious clan.

most likely she will be having a nice long conversation with Ibiki and Anko, especially with the upcoming invasion...

Altough the thought of Team Jack is almost as amusing as Team Anko...
Review By [trongod] • Date [21 Mar 13] • Not Rated
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