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Tomb Raider 2 – Unfinished Business

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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from fourmenandanelephant
Review:
Oshtar is one of the most interesting choices I've seen so far for the true identity of the Key, Glory and the "Powers that Be" better hope Dawn doesn't somehow become conscious of her true self thru research or other means....
Comments from author:
Yes, that could be a fairly significant interaction, couldn't it? ;-)
Review By [fourmenandanelephant] • Date [18 Aug 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Traveler
Review:
Hopefully you will continue this series. Thank you for sharing.
Comments from author:
Not to worry - it's definitely being continued. Just have to find the time to write the next chapter.
Review By [Traveler] • Date [24 Mar 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Mordare
Review:
Heh, loved that you made em twins. Should be interesting.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I'm hoping to have people saying 'WHAT THE HELL?!!!' in future chapters. ;-)
Review By [Mordare] • Date [11 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Okay, that's different Dawn as Buffy's twin.
Cool chapter!

Tom.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I'm trying to do something different with Dawn's origin in this story, as you'll see in upcoming chapters. ;-)
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [11 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from BlueEyedBrigadier
Review:
Well, Dawn's on the scene it seems and presumably, she's been officially upgraded though I have to wonder at Ship being fooled by the Dagon Monks' mind mojo spell to give everyone memories.

Gotta wonder about the crystal sword and the bronze bracelets found in the Southern Hemisphere end of the Deeper Well...the descriptions seem familiar for some reason.
Comments from author:
The way I view the monk's spell, as opposed to what coudl be considered the canon view, is that it reached back and actually rewrote some parts of the Scoobies' past history to reflect what we see now.

And those changes, along with the the consequences of the goodies which Xander, Cordy and Giles collected, will be shown in upcoming chapters. ;-)
Review By [BlueEyedBrigadier] • Date [10 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from trongod
Review:
So the magic swept the world per canon, evidently... but is Dawn also empowered - albeit magically vice The Gizmo - as she is Buffy's fraternal twin and would have been just as much a concern of Xander's as Joyce was had she been there in reality?

I'm betting yes as it would make more sense than otherwise...

But gald to see more of you work out and about!
Comments from author:
The monks' creation of Dawn has rewritten history all across the world.

What results are coming from that will be shown in the next couple chapters.
Review By [trongod] • Date [8 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Recent Donor)nerfherder
Review:
Fraternal twins, huh? Didn't see that one coming. Will make for more possible trouble, certainly. Let's see what's next!
Comments from author:
Yep, that's what they are.

And when hasn't trouble come looking for any of the Scoobies? ;-)
Review By [(Recent Donor)nerfherder] • Date [8 Nov 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from wonderbee
Review:
Oh dear, and the Dawn has arrived then, even as its more interesting to think of she and Buffy as fraternal twins then, and what all that might change things more now, especially as a certain feeling is developing for Xander, then might it be even more amplified?
Comments from author:
Yes, Dawn has arrived and the monks rewrote various aspects of history for both the Scoobies and the world.

What that actually means will be shown in upcoming chapters.
Review By [wonderbee] • Date [8 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DieselDriver
Review:
I just had an interesting thought, maybe interesting... If Angel got "a" soul, whose soul did he get? Nowhere in anything I've read do the authors say "his" soul. Where is "his" soul if he just got a random soul and whose did he get? or was it just a random unemployed soul?

Something else bothers me, here Buffy is flying through the clouds obviously in violation of safe flying rules. In fact, nearly all of the flying heros fail to take into account airplanes and the rules they follow, or are supposed to follow.

Only at the Whately Academy do they teach safe flying and make sure their students who can fly have a com system and actually get licensed to fly, whether on their own or in a vehicle/plane.

I can see why you didn't go further with the story since the whole group is very nearly of Mary Sue capabilities.
Comments from author:
Actually, I am continuing with this story, and the next chapter is almost ready to post. ;-)

And while the Scoobies are quite powerful compared to the typical Scooby-verse monster, they're currently only middle of the pack as far as far as the Big Bads they're going to be facing in the future.

And yes, Buffy and the others are probably breaking quite a few FAA rules, but then again, I don't think that the FAA ever really considered the probability of people flying around unaided, as the Scoobies are currently doing.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [20 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from BlueEyedBrigadier
Review:
Well, I see from perusing the comments that the idea of having Angel undergo the upgrade procedure when human again from Mohra blood exposure has bee fielded and not outright dismissed, so I guess "Yay!" to that...though I hope Angel gets some enforced wisdom to help him avoid certain huge booboos in thinking down the road if the various events of "Angel" play out pretty much similarly. And I am glad that everyone gets a chance to naturally evolve emotionally and psychologically, since you're right in that characters arcs were blunted or stopped dead due to a need for angst and drama...though I can't say developing a case of the Stupids couldn't happen if one went through the PTSD-inducing crap the Scoobies did for 7 seasons.

Can't wait to see more!
Comments from author:
All I'll say right now, is that Angel isn't a candidate for the reasons listed. Changes to his status as an undead American could significantly alter the situation.

And while I so think that the majority of the character development sucked, everyone involved (except Joyce, to a certain extent) was suffering from serious PTSD, and that was an issue that was never even considered or mentioned.

The next chapter is about half done, so I'm hoping it'll be finished soon.
Review By [BlueEyedBrigadier] • Date [21 Sep 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Oakheart
Review:
Ought we to presume that lead (Pb) is not an issue with what are
essentially half-Daxamites?

Sorry; had to let the inner-comic-nerd have his say. This is very fun,
and as others have noted, the ensuing character development is both
welcome and rewarding. Is Xander a bit 'alpha' compared to the power-ups
everyone has received, or should we assume equality in the procedure?

SD
Comments from author:
Exactly! That's one reason this is not set in the canon DC universe, since that was an extremely STUPID decision to make concerning potential weaknesses for an entire species. I won't start ranting about the extreme degree of idiocy something like that entails, because otherwise I'd be going no about it for days. ;-)

And as far as the power-up levels go, currently their strength and agility more closely corresponds to 'real life' where strength is more dependent upon size and mass, so the men are generally stronger than the women, but the women are generally more agile than the men. Generally.

Although Xander is recognized as the Commander by Ship, with the rest of the Scoobies having less control over it than he does.
Review By [Oakheart] • Date [14 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)nerfherder
Review:
Wow! An introspective Buffy unencumbered by the presence of shiny objects or butterflies! Who knows what deep thoughts will accumulate for our collective wonder! Can't wait to see further developments!
Comments from author:
In my opinion, *every* character on the show was shortchanged as far as real character development was concerned, and most of them remained little more than overblown two-dimensional images or caricatures of the people they could have been. ;-(
Review By [(Recent Donor)nerfherder] • Date [25 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from wonderbee
Review:
Neat, even more so to see Buffy's coming to appreciate what she had in hand, rather than the bush she wanted to find out about, and will look forward to what will go down next as other beings plot and plan.
Comments from author:
I figured that in *this* universe, Buffy wouldn't need to be beaten over the head with the proverbial clue bat before she finally woke and saw how much things had improved for her and the people around her.

More insights into what else is going on in the next chapter.
Review By [wonderbee] • Date [25 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from removedauthor
Review:
Awesome first chapter. I look forward to the next chapter to this story. I wonder what crossovers you are going to have with this story Star Wars? Star Trek? Stargate?
Comments from author:
Glad you enjoyed this one.

And the Scoobies are going to end up hitting a *lot* of alternate realities in the course of their tour. And some of them are going to be hitting back. Hard. ;-)
Review By [removedauthor] • Date [25 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from SamDragon
Review:
Wonder what the new toys do.
Can they get them without hurting the guardian or waking any of the sleepers up?
Comments from author:
Excellent questions, and ones which will be answered in the course of the story.
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [24 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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