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A heart's deepest desire

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Review of chapter "Part 4 Check and mate" from EasterCat
Review:
It looks like an interesting idea for a story.

By the way, you reposted chapter 4 twice.
Review By [EasterCat] • Date [13 Nov 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 3" from Bobboky
Review:
very good work
Comments from author:
Thank you
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [3 Nov 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 3" from AceDreamer
Review:
Just how much trouble are the Scoobies have to get into that you can justify adding all those White Lighters into the team?

Yes, Willow will be happy (sort of an anti-vengence demon effect?) but will she have any time to be with them?

I'm not totally convinced that this has enough 'dramatic tension' in it to work (I just looked at the tags on the story), but, if it's a genre that makes sense to you, go for it!

Good luck in making this work!
Comments from author:
Thanks, I never bought the fact that Willow could go away for a few months and then be all white and pure. Even using the slayer weapon to make all those slayers would not be enough to balance the scales as it were. She was a danger to the whole world. Buffy and the gang should have eliminated her. However friendship and love do have meanings but the higher powers wont take chances hence the whitelighter gig. While she can still go dark I can not see her risking losing Tara much less her other loves. Thanks for the positive feedback as well.
Fire
Review By [AceDreamer] • Date [29 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 3" from Martin
Review:
Thoughts inside of ' ' should always be written in the first person present tense. So instead of 'he would trade' should be 'I would trade'.
Review By [Martin] • Date [28 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 2 Shocking the Family" from MagnusXXN
Review:
Get a beta reader. I'm assuming the gist of this is everyone the scooby's knew came back from the dead. Maybe that's good, maybe it isn't, but either way it's too difficult to go through when it's written like this.

Post you need a beta reader, or a proof reader. And don't worry, a lot of writers just starting out have the same problems.


): )
Review By [MagnusXXN] • Date [13 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One A Special Gift" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Fitting start for Valentine's Day...Willow gets to see and be a part of the brightest light ever.

Only caveat there is when the light burns brightest, the shadow is deepest. White lighters beware...the shadow and the light are one...
Comments from author:
True enough but sometimes the good has to happen. Balance and all.
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [14 Feb 14] • Not Rated
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