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Dawn Phantom

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Review of chapter "Dawn Phantom" from WCSII
Review:
You know... in order for something to be counted as drabble, or... you know an actual story. There has to be something known as content. ...

*looks at pitiful excuse for a thought, done by a lazy author*

This barely qualifies as a story premise, much less a story, or drabble musings from a story. And yes, I bothered to look up what 'drabble' meant, officially its an old school word meaning to soil or ruin something. If that was your intent, you succeeded. The net/urban meaning supposedly suggests anywhere from 100 words to 1000 words short, short story. Who knows, maybe I'm just spoiled on ff net's 1000-5000 word length character musings after which the concept of drabble was originally based off of. And am just old enough to see 13 year old runts that don't want to put an effort into writing as being rude snot nosed brats that failed in English in school.

That aside, the net/urban slang suggests being able to concisely tell a story in 100 to 1000 words. You took a concept that requires a minimum of a thousand words, and tried to run it down into less than a hundred fifty. Simply because you wanted to tell a full story, but didn't want to make the effort to tell a full story. In this context, the drabble should have focused on a single scene that took a few sentences to use omniscient third person point of view to tell what led up to it, then leave the reader wondering what happened next. Similarly for any character introspective drabble, except the character would use first person point of view and would only acknowledged what they knew, saw, or understood of such things, before asking themselves what next; usually in regards to an immediate situation, or after something that consumed much of the character's life up to that moment.

Just... know your story telling mechanism before trying to shoehorn lacking work efforts into a story type where it doesn't fit. It also wouldn't hurt if you made an effort to tell the story instead of just writing down your idea.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the critique. These were basically writing tests, and also plot bunnies being handed out for others to latch onto if they wanted. :)
Review By [WCSII] • Date [23 Apr 13] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dawn Phantom" from firedrakegirl
Review:
You have to write a sequel about all the trouble Dawn gets into with those new powers!
Review By [firedrakegirl] • Date [30 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dawn Phantom" from ChristaBelle
Review:
You've got a thing for Danny Phantom, huh? *Huge, cheeky grin* Entertaining fluff, despite the short lenght of your usual posts.
Comments from author:
Yeah, it's my current obsession, and Dani is just soooo cute. :-)

Unfortunatly, when I try to put longer tales "to paper", my brain freezes up. :-( But it's a fun challenge to get a point across in 100 words.
Review By [ChristaBelle] • Date [11 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Dawn Phantom" from Wise
Review:
OK, now that's been done.
Comments from author:
It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. ;-)
Review By [Wise] • Date [11 Jul 06] • Not Rated
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