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If Wishes Were Thestrals, We'd All Run Screaming

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Summary: Xander makes a wish and the Wizarding World will never be the same.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-Centered(Current Donor)SusanAnthonyFR151758,655110649314,30926 Sep 063 Nov 11No
CoA Winner

The Boy Who Wished

Title: If Wishes Were Thestrals, We'd All Run Screaming

Author: Susan Anthony (LdyGossamer@aol.com)

Fandom: BtVS/HP

Rating: FR15

Spoilers: Harry Potter books 1 - 4

Summary: Xander makes a wish and the Wizarding World will never be the same.

Notes: This storyline is inspired by a challenge by Wynde, 1034 - Xander Wishes himself into the World of Harry Potter. Its also a part of the TTH100 challange.

Warning: There may be some het and or slash flirting but absolutely no underage anything.
Disclaimer: The Boyz aren't mine. They belong to Joss Whedon and JK Rowling. This story is for the pleasure of the readers only. I don't make a thing.

The Boy Who Wished
Prompt: 084 Wish
Summary: An angry Xander is a verbally careless Xander


New York City, Fall 2008

Xander Harris slammed down the phone receiver so hard that the phone slid across the table and off onto the floor. Sitting beside the table, Willow Rosenberg jumped and looked up at her seething friend with wide green eyes.

"I can't *believe* she's doing this again!" the angry brunet snarled as he started to pace back and forth across the room. "'Stay there.' she says! 'I'll take care of things.' she says!" He turned and glared at his wide-eyed and silent friend. "*'You'll just be in the way.'* she says!" He stomped over and kicked the phone across the floor. "To my *face* she says this!"

"Xander, you know she didn't mean it," Willow tried to soothe her friend. "She's just concerned about you getting hurt."

"She's just a control freak power bitch is what she is!" Xander scathingly replied and Willow's mouth just dropped open in shock.

"Xander! Buffy is one of our best friends!"

"Then she should *know* not to try this kind of thing on me!" Xander just shouted back. "How long has it been since Sunnydale collapsed? Five years? Six?" Xander resumed his pacing and his ranting. "Since then I've spent a solid year in Africa collecting Slayers, I've spent four years setting up training centers across the Northern Hemisphere and God-knows-how-long training new slayer/watcher teams to patrol and not get their asses handed to them!" He whirled around to catch his friend's gaze. "I can handle myself. You know that. I know that. Hell, even *Giles* knows that. I *don't* need to prove that to her Buffiness any longer! She just wants to pretend that she's the one whose done all that work and trained the mini-slayers instead of aimlessly floating around Europe on some immortal Roman Deadboy's arm."

Willow just looked at him with a steady, compassionate gaze and Xander sighed and collapsed onto his couch. He rubbed his single eye for a moment before he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, absently avoiding the strap from his eye patch.

"I just- " he began and then sighed heavily. "Those are *my* slayers she's trying to boss around, Willow. I found most of them and I trained them. I'm the one they look to for answers. Even Faith gives me more respect that Buffy does. When she does this, I just feel so betrayed by her lack of..."

"Trust?" Willow offered.

"No," Xander replied thoughtfully. "She tries to make me seem unreliable and useless," he finished with a shrug.

"She doesn't!"

"Whenever she drafts any of my girls for her emergency teams, I'm treated like glass for weeks after they get back and whenever they think I'm not listening, they bitch about Buffy and her opinions about me." Xander growled for a moment under his breath. "She tries to undermine my authority with my slayers and it's pissing me off."

Willow stood and crossed the room to seat herself beside her best friend. "Xander you can't believe that," she said firmly. "Why would she do that?"

Xander shrugged again. "Maybe it makes her feel better about herself, who knows?"

"Buffy knows just how much hard work and skill you bring to your position on the Council, Mister, and so do the rest of us. No matter what Buffy says, Giles knows exactly what your contributions are. And he's the one who put you in charge of the North American Council instead of Buffy no matter what she wanted."

Xander just looked at her. "Then explain this?"

"Slayer PMS?" Willow offered hopefully. Her friend didn't return even a tiny grin. The witch's eyes darted around the apartment, looking for inspiration before she reached over to the coffee table before the couch and picked up a book.

"Buffy's just jealous because you get to go to the biggest Harry Potter party on the planet here in New York while she's stuck in Cleveland until the latest emergency is settled?" Xander sighed and took the book she was holding, absently flipping through the pages. "Getting ready for the last book?" she asked teasingly, hoping to divert his anger just a bit more.

"Yeah, I've been re-reading them. And I know you have too," he said with a knowing glance at her to show he knew exactly what she was doing. "The third book is my favorite though. Sirius Black is just so awesome. He should never have been killed off in the fifth book."

Willow sighed inwardly with relief before she groaned. "Don't start that rant again, Xander," she pleaded.

Xander flashed her a half-smile before he considered the cover of the book in his hand. Then he snorted.

"I wish I was the Boy-Who-Lived. I'd save Sirius and then I'd turn Buffy into a hamster. Or maybe a ferret."

Willow froze beside him, staring up at her friend in horror. Xander noticed her tense posture and looked down blankly for a moment before he realized what he'd said. They both waited anxiously to see if someone heard that careless remark who shouldn't have.

After almost a full minute of silence, they both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Whew, talk about dodging a bullet," Xander said with a weak grin.

"*Wish Granted*," came a deep voice filled with amusement.

Xander and Willow shot to their feet as a demon suddenly appeared in the apartment and grinned. The book Xander was holding slipped from his hand and landed on the floor with a thump.

"Bye bye. Have fun."

In a brilliant flash of light, Xander disappeared along with the snickering Vengeance Demon.

Willow just blinked her eyes to clear away the spots. She stared at the spot where she'd last seen Xander and tried to get her brain in gear. Her green eyes narrowed as she tried to consider the various things she could do to get Xander back from wherever the Wish Demon had sent him.

And where had the demon sent him? Willow frantically tried to remember Xander's exact wish.

He'd wished he were the Boy-Who-Lived.

Oh Goddess!

"Hey Willow?" a voice called from the direction of the bedroom and the young witch started as she jerked around. A tall figure walked out into the living room holding up a necktie and looking at her hopefully. He was slender and handsome with features a bit more delicate than Xander's though he seemed to be about the same age as her friend.

And he had vivid, green eyes.

"What do you think?" he asked as he glanced up at her. "Jesse says no way but I think it's cool."

Willow stared for a long moment at the young man, her mouth opening and closing, and her mind totally incapable of responding to the question. The young man gave her a concerned look.

"You think it's that bad?" he asked in a disappointed tone. "But I bought this just for the party."

"H-H-Harry P-P-Potter?" Willow finally stammered out.

Harry just raised his brows. "W-W-Willow R-r-rosenberg?" he mimicked her with a chuckle.

Willow blinked.

"So, now that we have our names all cleared up, what about the tie?" Harry continued as he stepped closer to her and held it up to his chest.

The flabbergasted redhead absently glanced at the tie and she froze again, her own eyes wide. It was a rather wide green tie that had a picture of a golden snitch on it above two initials, an X and an H separated by a very familiar looking bolt of lightening.

Willow finally raised her confused gaze to Harry. He grinned. "So what do you think? Too dorky? I mean it is for the party at the bookstore tomorrow night but Jesse says even he has his dork limits."

"Bookstore?" Willow whimpered, suddenly afraid she knew what he was going to say. Harry just sighed loudly and gave her a mock scowl.

"Yeah, the bookstore. The party all the junior slayers are going gaga over. You've been waiting for this one for three years now. So we all know what happens to the Boy Who Lived?" Harry signed in a long-suffering manner. "Remember, you said you'd dress up like Ginny Weasley and Tara was going to go as Luna Lovegood and you said you'd bring them both out of the closet."

Willow started hyperventilating. Harry started looking concerned.

"Willow are you all right?" he asked but she didn't respond. Harry Potter watched in alarm as his long-time friend and kindergarten playmate fainted dead away.

"Well, I didn't think the tie was that bad."
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