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Agents of the C.O.A.

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Summary: Crack!Fic. Mistress Jinni and her *cracktastic* team of COA Agents work towards crossover chaos. Multiple fandoms by multiple authors. Add a chapter if you dare...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General(Moderator)Saturn + 13 othersFR133834,066211932,70025 Oct 0618 Nov 10No

Buffy vs The Judge?

Title: Agents of the C.O.A.
Author: Saturn
Rating: FR-13
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to anything Buffy, Stargate, Smallville, Roswell or any other characters in this fic. So that means I am not the copyright holder.
Summary: When the Crossing Over Awards need help they call the C.O.A. The elite agents of the Cross Over Agency do more crossovers before breakfast than most people do all day.
Setting: Buffy Season 2: Innocence.
Author's Note:This is just a fun idea that I had. It is open to anybody that wants to give it a shot. The only recurring theme is the COA agents which can be from any fandom. After the wild success of Victims of the COA (which has a movie project in the works) I expect this to bring me even more fame and fortune. Well...maybe no fortune since I don't really own any of this. I'll just take double servings of fame. And most importantly go out and nominate for the COA while there's still time.

The doors of the elevator opened and Buffy stepped out into the mall. Blue electricity was arcing through innocent mall customers. The Judge smiled as he watched his victims twitch. As he was about to deliver the killing blow to the shoppers a crossbow bolt hit him square in the chest. The bolt didn't harm him but it did distract him and saved the lives of his victims.

With an incredulous look The Judge pulled the bolt from his chest. “Who dares?”

Buffy seemed satisfied with her shot and murmured, “Think I got his attention.”

With a smug look on his face the Judge said, “You're a fool. No weapon forged can stop me.”

Buffy lowered the crossbow. “That was then.”

Just then Xander stepped up and handed her a rocket launcher which she promptly brought to her shoulder.

“This is now.”

Buffy flipped the power on and set her sights on The Judge.


With a bright flash of light the scene seemed to freeze. Nobody was moving. It was if everybody just stopped in mid-motion. The only sound was the distant sound of helicopters. Just then a group of men in black entered through a side door of the mall. With quiet efficiency 2 men with a dolly rushed to The Judge. They moved the dolly behind him and began strapping him to it. After he was strapped securely they wheeled him towards the door like some big blue mannequin.

An older man with a clipboard that seemed to be overseeing everything stepped into the area in front of the Scoobies. “Pick up the pace Agent 391. The Judge needs to be at Hogwarts by 19:00 tomorrow.” He turned to another group as they approached Willow. “Get the redhead out of here too. The Colorado Springs branch needs her there ASAP.”

One of the mystery men put Willow over his shoulder and carried her out the door they came in. He placed her in the back of a van and strapped her in. After checking her restraints the door is closed and he hits it twice. The van takes off towards the highway.

The sound of the helicopters grew louder as they approached the mall. In the sky above four helicopters had a complex rigging system hanging below them which was carrying a giant lizard. The unnaturally still lizard dangled below the helicopters as they approached.

The man with the clipboard stepped out of the mall and looked up at the lizard. “Alright, we need Godzilla lowered down in the center of the mall,” he said into a mic.

The helicopter lowered Godzilla through the roof of the mall until he stood with his lower half visible inside the mall. A couple agents standing near Buffy looked at where Godzilla was lowered and turned Buffy about 10 degrees to the left. “Perfect.”

Just then the man with the clipboard looked at his watch and yelled, “Let's go people! We're done here! Load up. We need to be in Roswell in 12 hours.”

All the men in black loaded back up into a van. The man with the clipboard was the last to step into the van. As he got into the front seat he pressed a button on the side of his watch. With a beep and a flash time seemed to start again.


Buffy paused for a second, slightly disoriented. It quickly passed and she quickly pressed the trigger on the rocket launcher. She watched as the rocket hit the lizard right in the crotch. It's flesh exploded outward covering everyone in dino-goo. The rest of the lizard fell down through the hole in the roof it created onto the surrounding area.

The dust settled and Buffy lowered the rocket launcher. “That'll teach The Ju-,” Buffy paused mid-sentence and continued, “Godzilla to mess with Sunnydale.”

“Did anybody see where Willow went?” Buffy looked around in confusion.

The other Scoobies looked confused.

“You mean our resident red-headed witch, Ginny right?” Xander asked.

“Yeah...that's who I meant. Why did I say Willow?” Buffy said as they exited the mall.

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