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I Hate Bugs!

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Summary: Xander is about to wish he had brought a can of RAID

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Starship TroopersTjinFR1522,0671279,32320 Jan 0731 Dec 07Yes

Bugging Me

“You okay?”

Dizzy Flores turned to glare at the speaker before looking back at the tank of fluid that she had been spending all her available time with.

“He shouldn’t have done it,” The redhead said sadly before slamming her fist into the medical tank. “Damn it, Harris, you better get better so I can kill you for being so stupid.” The M.I. Trooper growled before turning towards the other occupant of the room. “Sorry about that Johnny, did you need something?”

Johnny Rico watched his childhood friend a moment before pointing towards the door. “L.T. says we have a long patrol in six hours, you better get some sleep.” He said and watched as Private Isabel Flores walked out. Waiting a moment to make sure she was away, Rico turned back to the tank. “You better get out of there soon, Harris. Dizz owes you a meal and she gets cranky if she can’t settle her debts.” the Trooper said before leaving the dark haired soldier alone in the softly lit room.



Xander stood in the darkness as he listened to the reports coming in from around him.

“Targets spotted, multiple hostiles, incoming from Six o’clock.”

“Incoming from Twelve.”

“All units FIRE!”

Xander squeezed the trigger and ignored the urge to blink from the flash of the weapon as he kept the fire up until his target was down. Turning his weapon from the downed form as it disappeared in a puff of dust, Xander focused his fire at the next vampire that was attacking his squad.

Taking his finger off the trigger Xander frowned as he shook his head. “I never fought vampires this way.” He said as he looked over his shoulder at the rest of his squad.

“Xander, lookOut!” Buffy yelled as she leapt over the stunned Scooby and brought her sword down in a heavy swing that severed two of the massive insect’s legs, dropping under its snapping maw, the Slayer stabbed up and through the monster’s body.

Xander blinked as he looked around at the graveyard that was swarming with arachnids of all forms. Gritting his teeth, Xander brought his weapon up and fired at the nearest monster and dropped the crossbow as the bolt was shrugged off by the monster’s armor.

Pulling his dagger out, Xander set himself to take on the creature when a scream turned his attention to his best friend.

Spinning towards the sound, he felt the impact on his chin before he collapsed to the ground. Shaking his head, Xander looked up at his father as the massive man glared down at him.

“Stupid punk, you think you have what it takes to make me do anything?” the man growled before reaching down and grabbing Xander by his shirt and jerking him up.

Xander closed his eyes as the rancid beer breath washed over him.


Opening his eyes, Xander looked into the furious eyes of Career Drill Sergeant Zim. Snapping to attention, Xander belted out the answer. “SIR! THIS RECRUIT WILL NOT QUIT, SIR!”

“Damn straight Ape, they’re coming over that hill in the next fifteen minutes. Fleet was unable to stem the tide and we got tagged to clean up their mess. We are outnumbered three thousand to one at the best estimate. We have the third army moving up to support us and all we have to do is hold this speck of mud until they get here to smash these bugs into paste.” Razak said before turning towards the sound of approaching legs. “Roughnecks… OPEN UP!”

With a roar, the seven man team rained fire into the oncoming enemy.


‘Dizzy’ Flores cut a warrior bug down with a sustained burst of automatic rifle fire as the rest of her team moved to support her while she advanced on the last remnants of the infestation for this sector.

As the last bug fell, Lt. Razak opened up communications with fleet and reported the all clear.

Checking her ammo, Flores cursed again for letting the idiot, Xander take the job himself.

Twenty one thousand bugs against seven Roughnecks was odds not even Razak’s legendary team should have been able to pull off.

Swallowing, Flores remembered the flash of light that had heralded the atomic death of the majority of the arachnid threat.

The idiot had detonated three nukes in close proximity, only the massive surge of arachnid bodies had saved the M.I. Soldiers from cooking in the fireball. Only Harris had been close enough to take damage.

“Listen up Apes, Monsoon squad is pinned down by flyers in sector Tango three, ‘Intel’ reported that they have critical data for the continued offensive on this rock, that means we move NOW!”

Settling her rifle, Dizzy followed Bruno as she set out to settle a score.


Xander opened his eyes and glared at the medic on the other side of the glass tube he was stuck in. “Can I go now?” he asked as the woman checked his vitals on the computer before looking back at him.

“You survived the near miss of a pee-wee, Mr. Harris, you should be busy healing from first through third degree rad burns.”

“You said should, does that mean something’s wrong?” Xander asked as the woman sighed and shook her head.

“No, in fact you’re perfectly fit. That’s what concerns us, no one should be in as good a shape as you are after that.” The doctor said as Xander shrugged in the green water he was stuck in.

“So I got lucky. You said I’m fine let me go.”

Considering it a moment the doctor finally pressed a button and started to drain the fluid. “I’m doing this only under protest, you need at least another three days of rest before I can release you for active service.”


(A/N) Don't think I'll be continuing this.

but then again you never really know.


The End

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