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I Hate Bugs!

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Summary: Xander is about to wish he had brought a can of RAID

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Starship TroopersTjinFR1522,0671279,32320 Jan 0731 Dec 07Yes

The itsy bitsy spider



I hate Bugs


(A/N) This Plot Bunny has been attacking me for the last while and wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it out.

Here it is, hope you all enjoy it.



My name is Alexander LaVelle Harris.

I was born in Sunnydale California, North American Continent, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension 1198 on the third Parallel.

I write this so should I die my story will be known.

Even if it isn’t believed.

It all started with the Mayor, he was over a hundred years old and was setting up for an ascension, we couldn’t kill him because he was invulnerable to damage for the last hundred days before the ascension, he had managed to corrupt one of us already, a slayer named Faith and she had turned to the dark side after a series of unfortunate events.

We were getting desperate to stop him when we had managed to get hold of the box of Gravlok that he needed for the ascension ritual.

He countered by kidnapping Willow.

After much debate we settled on a swap, Willow for the box.

We planned to double cross him of course but like I said, killing him was impossible.

Banishment on the other hand, that was something we could do.

We set the trap with almost paranoid precision.

You have to know that to effectively banish something it doesn’t really matter if you know where you’re sending them.

It’s not important where they are going.

The important information is where they’re being banished ‘From’

Or in this case where we were.

More specifically Sunnydale, California, North American continent, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, dimension 1198 on the third parallel.

Everything went according to plan, we traded Willow for the box and were all ready to set off the trap.

That is when it all went to hell.

Mayor Wilkins decided to double cross us by opening the box and letting these armored spiders that were inside kill us.

I realized he wasn’t going to pull an evil overlord and just let a couple of them out as he fled but instead intended to stand there and watch them kill us.

Deciding to throw caution to the wind I activated the runes we had hidden on the floor and caught the mayor in the dimensional banishment spell.

This would have been fine accept for one slight problem.

The dimensional pocket inside the box interfered with the spell and we all started to get sucked in.

As we all fought to hang on to something I realized what the problem was and tackled Wilkins trying to get the box closed.

I think I managed to do it too when the next thing I know I’m landing…


“HARRIS! Close that Damn book. LISTEN UP YOU APES! Bravo Company is pinned down in some shit hole valley unfortunately numbered Valley Six-Sixty-Six, our job is to go down there and kill things and break stuff. Now are those orders too complicated for you?” the battle scarred veteran shouted and continued without an answer. “Secondary objective is to get to Bravo Company’s team sixteen and relieve them on the southern approach so they can fortify team six on the north and we hold the southern until the nine-hundredth rolls in sometime day after tomorrow.” He said in a simple no-nonsense voice that warned everyone that he would walk into hell to achieve his objectives and he expected no less from his troops. “DO YOU GET ME APES?” he shouted as Xander joined every trooper in the age old confirmation.


Looking over the troopers he was tasked to lead the older man focused on the four new recruits and some young buck reporter that had decided to tag along. “Welcome to the Roughnecks.”


Putting the recorder into his ‘If I Die’ Earthforce issued every trooper Xander triple checked his rifle and armor before looking over at the three recruits he had just finished training with.

And one in particular.

“Hey Dizz, Dinner at my place says I bag more bugs then you.” Xander bet as the redhead looked up from her rifle with an almost feral grin.

“Dinner at the FlagHouse if you lose.” She countered as she named the most expensive restaurant open to active military personal. It was named the FlagHouse because you had to be Flag rank to afford their meals.

Considering it a moment Xander matched her grin and walked across the transport to seal the bet.

As the two shook on it Rico watched with a smirk before patting Xander on the shoulder in mock sympathy.

“If you need some extra cash to pay off the bill I hear Medical pays good money for unneeded kidneys.” He said with a grin as the red drop light warned them they were on final approach.

Double checking the restraints on their own jump packs and the troopers across from them everyone nodded and waited for the yellow light warning.

Considering he was dropping out of a transport moving at two hundred kilometers an hour at five thousand feet and hoping the small belt packs slowed them down enough they didn’t splatter on the ground behind enemy infested lines, Xander wondered again why he was doing this.

As the yellow light blinked on, he looked down at the ancient scar he had gotten two years earlier when he came to this dimension and nodded.

He really hated Bugs.


(A/N) So, here we have another fic that I promised myself I wouldn’t write.

So love it, hate it, don’t care or what, just PLEASE Review?

Ooh and this is crossed with ‘Starship Troopers: Roughneck Chronicles’ an excellent CGI series that was released in 2000 I think.

I personally preferred this series to the Movie, though I don’t think the movie wasn’t as bad as everyone else said it was.

Yes I know they started on the Pluto campaign and didn’t know about the Bugs then, but what the hay, this wrote itself and I’m not going to argue with it.

P.S. I have never read the books

P.P.S. I Don’t own BtVS or Starship troopers.

Hope you all enjoy and Review.

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