Title:Phone Live in New York; 1/?
Summary: Xander goes to New York
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Buffy, I don’t anything from Marvel, as I am married and have a kid, don’t own much of anything, please don’t sue.
* * sounds coming through the phone
< > background noises
> < Old Norse
Xander had given up trying not to gawk like a small town rube. He kept twisting around trying to see everything, letting himself be a seventeen year old and enjoying it.
Seeing the sites from the back seat of a limo, helped take his mind off the suit the driver had supplied him with and had explained that the party he was going to was strictly black tie. The looks he received while leaving the airport indicated he looked good in the three piece Armani, but the tie was too tight, and the black overcoat was way to much like something Angel would ware for him to be comfortable.
The driver was taking the scenic route, showing off the Christmas lights and sites of the “Big Apple”, before pulling up in front of “The Stark Building”. As the falling snow started to fall heavier, the driver, John, turned back to Xander. “Well here you are safe and sound,” he smiled, “If you ever need service in town again, just give us a call and ask for me, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.”
Xander looked at the older man, “I will,” he replied, “I normally don’t enjoy riding in the back, but…” Xander's’ eyes got big as he saw a large black and green body falling onto the hood of the Limbo. He started to shout, “In…” the body hit with a crash, and the scream of protesting metal, and shattering glass, “coming,” He managed to wheeze out after the large car had finished bouncing and shaking from the impact.
John and Xander climb out of the Limo and inspect the damage, it was a right off. The windshield was smashed, the hood crumpled in, the front wheels were lying parallel to the asphalt rather than standing upright and perpendicular to it. The biggest thing was the unconscious body of a green female giant lying in the middle of the hood, the metal crumpled up and around her seaming to hold her in place. “Hello, Nurse,” said Xander.
“She-Hulk,” John said quietly.
Xander shook his head, as he looked at the sky, “It’s me isn’t it?” he yelled, “I’m in another city, on the other side of the country, you couldn’t have given me a couple of days?”
John looked at Xander confused, “You ok, man?”
“Yeah, I’ve just had a year so far and it looks like things aren’t changing any time soon.” Xander takes a closer look at how She-Hulk was wedged into the hood of the limo, “Hey, John, do you have a tire iron in the trunk of this thing?”
“Sure man, why?” John replied.
“Well, when she wakes up she isn’t going to be happy she is being held like that, so I thought I could start prying her out, while you go call in, get the cops and let your bosses know about the limo, “ Xander said.
“Sounds, like a plan, I’ll get the trunk and head for the payphones in the building next store,” said John.
The next several minutes had Xander loosening the hold the limo had on the unconscious She-Hulk, until he heard the click whir of someone using a camera, really close by. Turning he saw a guy with a really nice camera, taking pictures of She-Hulk, but as Xander saw the angle the pictures were being taken from he started to see red.
Still holding the tire iron he started walking towards the guy with the camera, and snatched it out of his hand, “Hey, that’s my camera” the guy said.
“And that’s my friend,” replied Xander. “I don’t begrudge someone taking news pictures, if you had climbed up on the limo and were talking shots for the Daily Bugle, I wouldn’t have said nor done anything, if you were taking a regular set of shots and she had a wardrobe malfunction, not a major issue.” Xander's’ hand clenched, crushing the camera, and destroying the film, “But you were taking deliberate ‘up her skirt’ shots while she is lying here unconscious, that ranks right up there with taking photos of your drunk and sleeping girlfriend to post on the Internet.”
“Do you know how much I could have made on those Pict's?” the guy yelled, “I’m going to sue.”
Xander smiled a slow cold smile, “Do you know who I am?” he asked the photographer in a low voice.
“No,” the photographer replied looking confused.
“Then how can you sue me?” Xander asked, “But if any pictures like this surface, I can find you, and if I can find you, so can she. Is it really worth the possible pain?”
“No?” the photographer replied.
“Good answer,” was the response from the super-heroine in question, as she slowly sat up and looked at the two men.
“You,” she said pointing at the would be camera man, “Go.” He turned and ran.
“You,” she said looking at Xander, “Thank you.”
Xander bowed, “Always willing to be of service to a beautiful lady,” he replied, straightening he had a thoughtful look on his face, “so long as they don’t want to kill me.”
She-Hulk started pulling herself out of the remaining wreckage of the limo, and asked, “That happens a lot?”
When she didn’t get a response, she looked at him, his eyes were open and a little glazed and his mouth was hanging open. “What’s wrong,” she asked, frowning in worry.
“Na… Na… naked Avenger,” Xander stuttered. He shook his head and pulled off his over coat and handed it to her, motioning her to put it on, as he then, forced his other hand over his eyes.
She-Hulk looked down at the blouse and black skit suit she had put on as Jennifer Walters, and realized what his problem was, and snatched the coat, since what was a great outfit on Jennifer didn’t cover much on She-Hulk, and what was covered, put a lot of strain on the fabric.
She blushed a little darker green as she pulled it on and did up a few of the buttons, “Sorry…and thanks…again”
Xander shook his head, and blushed himself, “The pleasure was all mine I assure you,” he said before he could slap his hand over his mouth, “Could we please pretend I didn’t just say that?” he asked blushing even harder.
“It’s an awkward situation, and you are behaving better than most,” She-Hulk replied as she started toward the doors to the Stark building, “Your actions also mean more. You didn’t go sneaking a peak at anything, and once over your shock you acted as a gentleman, I think I can give you a little leeway in what comes out of your mouth.”
“Thanks, and just a minute while I get my kit,” he replied once again heading for the trunk of the limo.
“What do you mean ‘just a minute’?” She-Hulk asked, “I have to get back up there and help my friends.”
“I have friends up there to,” Xander replied, “At least one, anyway, and a few more that I hope will let me become one. I always take care of my friends.”
“What do you think you can do?” She-Hulk asked as she stood baring the door to him, as he started to follow her up and into the building.
Xander's hand blurred as grabbed something from the side of her neck. Showing it to her she realized it was a tooth. “Vampire, minion probably less than ten years from being turned, bit you when you fit in that skirt, and lost it after you changed and pulled him off you before you dusted him.” Xander said, using his best Giles imitation.
“How do you…?” She-Hulk looked shocked, “You’re him, Alexander Harris, the kid we were supposed to be meeting tonight.”
“Yep, that’s me,” he replied, “So; you want to lead the way?”
She-Hulk looked a little off, “I thought you were like Steve, don’t you want to lead the way?”
Xander smiled, “While I have his memories, I am not Steve Rodgers,” he replied, “Corrections, I’m not his alter ego, I don’t have to try and be a symbol for anything. While I can be as chauvinistic as any other man under the right circumstances, right now, getting upstairs is the important part, Starks security will recognize you and get out of the way, and you can walk through any door… or wall, that shows up to slow us down, faster than I can get through it. So looking at it from a mission stand point, it makes more sense that you go first.”
“There is no way I can keep you from following me is there?” she asked.
“Nope,” he replied smiling, “and believes me when I say it has been tried before.”
“Ok,” she said starting up the stairs, “try to keep up.”