Note: Set earlier in Thor’s career. I realize the good doctor is back, but I am unfamiliar enough with that corner of current marvel continuity to try to place a story there.
Disclaimer: Marvel comics owns this version of Thor; Joss Whedon owns Buffy.
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If there was a place on the planet that was completely free of vampires, Buffy Summers had yet to find it.
Maybe a deserted island. Maybe. If there were no monkeys.
Still, she hadn't been expecting a routine night out on the town to turn into yet another rescue mission. But here she was.
There were a lot of them, this time, all going after a fairly good-looking blond guy with a cane. They seemed to be taunting him, though.
Odd behavior for vamps. Not completely out of character -- Drusilla always liked to play with her food -- but still, these guys seemed more bully than crazy.
"Is this a private mugging?" she asked. "Or can anyone join?"
"Get lost, blondie," one of the tenvampires sneered. "We got business with the doc here." While seven of the vampires turned to face Buffy, two continued to hold the doctor against one alley wall while one held his cane and leaned against the other one.
"And that would be the business of draining him of his blood?"
The lead vampire blinked and said, "Yeah -- wait. You know?"
"Nope. I'm a good guesser."
The head vamp sighed and said, "Boys --"
The three other vampires facing Buffy charged. Buffy didn't mind a good fight, though she wasn't Faith to revel in it, but first things first. She jumped onto a dumpster and past the charging vamps and their leader, and, pulling out a stake, jumped towards where the other three were holding the doctor hostage.
"Strike one," she said, killing one of them. As the other one turned, she said, "Strike two." The doctor was now free. Turning to the vamp with the cane, she said, "Wanna guess what comes next?"
The vampire dropped the cane and tried to break and run. As the doctor bent down to pick it up, the leader said, "You idiot! He has his cane back. Get him!"
Looking like they were caught between two eqully undesirable fates, the vampires reluctantly came toward Buffy and her rescuee.
The doctor said, "Thank you. They caught me off guard.”
"You're welcome," Buffy said. "Now run."
The doctor held up the cane. "Okay," Buffy said. "Limp. But get going. I'll hold them off."
"If I have to."
The doctor started the other way down the alley.
The vampires, suddenly no longer reluctant, roared and came forward. Buffy slammed the first one into the wall and staked it, then hit the second one, backing up all the while. Seven-on-one wasn’t her favorite odds.
There was a distant sound of thunder.
They all attacked at once. After fifteen seconds, Buffy was beginning to think maybe she should have run after making sure the doctor was okay, when all of a sudden they stopped and said, “Don’t hurt us.”
“Kind of what I do,” Buffy said. “Still, good to get some respect –“ she felt a presence behind her and whirled.
It was Thor.
As in, “God of Thunder.”
Most people thought he was just a powerful dude cashing in on an old legend. Buffy knew beter. Well, okay, Giles knew better, but he’d told Buffy, and that was kind of the same thing.
“I believe, Slayer,” Thor said. “That they were talking to me.”
All Buffy could do was nod her head. “I can believe it.”
“Arturius!” he said. “I warned thee of the consequences of attacking Doctor Blake. It appears my lesson did not take, the first time.”
“Arturius” – the vampire Buffy’d pegged as being the leader – said, “I suppose asking for mercy is out of the question?”
“And what mercy were you prepared to show Dr. Blake?” Thor said. “If not for the Slayer here, he would now be dead.”
“All we wanted was a steady supply of blood!” one of the other vampires said.
“Indeed. And had thou procured such peaceably, I would not have objected. Thou were attempting to overcome thy evil nature. But you all chose to do so by means of threats and violence. And such actions against the humans of Midgard I cannot stand. Slayer, if thou would stand aside?”
Buffy didn’t need to be told twice.
The vampires turned and ran. They got maybe twenty feet down the alley before Thor shot a blast of lightning from his hammer that burned them all where they stood.
“Cool weapon,” Buffy said. “Wish I had something like that. It’d make my job a lot easier.” She frowned. “And how do you know who I am?”
“I have lived a long time,” Thor said. “I have seen others like thee. Valiant warriors all.”
“Yeah, I’m chock full of valiance. Is that a word? Anyway. I might be a warrior, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a timely intervention. It would’ve been a lot harder if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” She thought for a second. “Awfully coincidental.”
“There is no such thing as coincidence,” Thor said.
“How about leprechauns?”
Thor said, “I could tell a tale or two about those.”
“I’ve got time.”
They walked out of the alley.