Andrew Wells meets WorldChapter Title
: Andrew in DisguiseDisclaimer
: BtVS (If you don't know what that stands for, oh boy...are you on the wrong site) belongs to the amazing ManGod known more commonly as Joss Whedon. And the Transformers franchise probably belong to the smartest and richest bunch of Japanese people ever. Me? I own nothing! Nothing I tell you! Nothing! * runs off to have a cry *Summery
: What happens when Andrew Wells is unleashed upon the world under the guise of “undercover” work? *Series of Xover and non-Xover one-shots featuring the Blonde Wonder*Spoilers
: Hmmm...None I don't think. But just incase of flames, avoid if you're a hardcore Transformers fan who hasn't watched the movie, in which case...what the hell are you still doing here?A/N
: I apologize for all blatant Top Gear comments. Yes I do realize I have a problem. And yes, I am in the process of getting help ( pft, yeah right ). Meanwhile, GO JAMES MAY!!! Oh and no offense to Daewoo. I picked it off the top of my head. Just insert whatever car brand in there :p
BtVS/Transformers: 2007 MovieAndrew in Disguise
“Giant talking robots...” said Xander looking decidedly unconvinced even in the flickering halogen light.
“Uhhh...yeah” replied Andrew through the bathroom mirror that Willow had magicked into a communication portal. He couldn't help but think that his mission debriefing wasn't going as well as he had envisioned.
Xander stared at him incredulously with his left eyebrow growing at a ever steady rate towards his hairline.
“But they don't, like you know, look human coz they're from another planet so we don't have to, you know, worry about them infiltrating Earth to learn our secrets so they can wipe us all out” he hurried on trying to redeem himself.
“From another planet...” echoed Xander slowly, his right eyebrow joining its mate on its climb. “So lemme get this straight, the world is going to end...because of Giant Alien... ” he paused looking down at the report. “Giant TRANSFORMING
“Uhhh...yeah?” Andrew answered with a wince, realizing that this was probably his first and last
undercover field mission. Come to think of it. This might actually be his last mission, period.
“No apocalyptic demons bent on global domination? No evil politians turning into giant reptiles? No hell gods tearing down dimensional walls. ” Xander asked disbelievingly. “At all?
Andrew looked around, just in case. If dimensional walls were being torn down. He'd know right? But all he saw were the drab, grey and cold
concrete walls of the underground bunker the military mistakenly thought were sleeping quarters.
“Uhhh no?” Andrew replied carefully, knowing that every word might be his last.
“Huh.” Xander said, calming down considerably “Okay that's new. So what should we do? Lock up all the oil? Contact the presenters of Top Gear? Get Wils to make with the rain?”
“Umm well...” Andrew said, slightly cheering up at the fact that Xander's Nick Fury-esque eyepatch had stopped twitching “Nothing...”
Oh right! Sure! That just settles it then I suppose. Good plan that nothing...” Xander said sarcastically rolling his one eye and then yelled out “Except for the part where we do nothing!”
Andrew jumped at the sudden rise of volume and after taking a quick look around him, opened the bathroom door with a slight fumble and gave his bedroom a cursorily glance to make sure he was indeed alone and no one had heard the yell.
“We pull every trick, favor and spell under the sun to get you into that program and all you have to say is nothing?
” said a slightly mollified Xander through clenched teeth after lowering his voice.
“Well, no..coz, you see, its being taken care of “ Andrew responded nervously.
“Taken care of? By who? The military? ” Xander spat out. “ Coz we all know how well that turned out last time”
“Well kindasortanotreally,” said the blond nerd, then barreled on incase the angry pirate resembling Scooby got impatient and threw something sharp and pointy at him through the mirror. Who knew? His eyepatch had started twitching again.
“You see, the Autobots...”
“The auto whats?”
“The Autobots” Andrew said. “You know, the good robots”
“The good robots? What are the hell are the evil ones called?” Xander said sarcastically “The Daewoos?”
“Uhhh...no, Optimus Prime called them the Decepticons” Andrew replied confused.
“Optimus who? You know what? Nevermind.” Xander said frustrated, then flapped his hand at the blonde. “Continue”
“Right, anyway. They're all here looking for this cube thing called the Allspark, you see, and...” Andrew rambled on.
“STOP!” Xander shouted throwing his hands up in the air exasperated. “Please! I can't take it anymore!”
Andrew, startled, paused mid sentence.
“Just tell me,” said Xander “We really don't have to do anything?”
Andrew nodded silently.
“Everything's going to be fine?”
Andrew nodded once more.
“And these Autobrat things will take care of it?”
Andrew opened his mouth.
“Ahp Ahp!” Xander said quickly, pointing a finger at Andrew “ I don't care what they're called! Just answer the damn question! Will they or won't they take care of it? With as few of words as possible thank you very much!”
“Yes” confirmed the analyst who then pouted, looking slightly put out .
“Fine. That's all I needed to know” sighed Xander, glad to be rid of at least one global disaster the the Council didn't have to handle.
“Okay, leave as soon as you think you can. Got it?” Xander asked “Without
making it look suspicious please.”
Andrew nodded seriously.
“The last thing we need right now is the world's finest looking our way.” said the one eyed ex-carpenter tiredly. “Now. Anything else I should know about?”
“No, nothing else,” Andrew replied “Oh wait! Just one more thing.”
“Do I want to know? More to the fact, do I have
to know?” Xander asked apprehensively
“Ummm it's a question...” Andrew said, “What's a Daewoo?”
Xander sighed again “You don't want to know Andrew, you really
don't want to know. Now. Try to leave as soon as possible okay? We need you somewhere else as soon as possible.”
Andrew perked up, happy at the prospect of another mission.
“Really?” he asked
“Yes really. It's supposed to be of the uber badness according to Buffy's slayer dream” Xander replied then muttered “Although, I don't know how it could possibly beat giant transforming robots from another planet.”
“Hey, it could be worse,” Andrew said cheerfully to the rapidly clouding mirror. He started to finished his sentence but it was too late. The mirror had already returned to its former reflective self.
So his last comment went unheard.
Which is a shame. Because maybe it should have been.
“It could have been evil cyborgs!”
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