Author’s note: This is my first B:TVS story, so sorry if I get a few things wrong. Caulk them up to inexperience in the fandom.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy, or Teen Titans. People much richer than I do.
Time-Frame: For Buffy, Post Chosen by about a year, and for Teen Titans, Post Season Five for about six months.
Xander knew the moment he opened his eye that it was the last thing on earth that he wanted to do. And considering he had gone into battle against hellgods with little more than an axe, that was saying something.
Sure, he was usually backed up by Slayers, but he was still the normal one.
With his eye firmly shut, Xander tried to ignore the pain his head was in as he searched for his memory of the night before.
Okay, that wasn’t working, so better start from the beginning.
There had been an already powerful chaos demon that got its hands on a gem that Willow said would amplify its powers tenfold if it finished a particular ritual. Luckily for them, Willow knew which ritual it was, and it was fairly easy to stop. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something that was dependent on any kind of outside forces, and all the chaos demon needed to do was get the materials and perform the ritual.
After raiding the local demon bar, Xander had gotten the location of the demon, and the Scoobies marched in, just as the ritual was being finished. The chaos demon got its power up and somehow summoned a dozen golems to take down the Scoobs. Xander didn’t know how that moved was pulled off, but he just assumed the normal rules didn’t really apply, considering it was chaos magic they were dealing with.
Xander personally saw three of his Slayers go down and not get back up.
On the final charge, Xander hurled his axe at the chaos demon, splitting its skull, killing it instantly.
Or, at least that’s what probably happened. The demon opened a portal right in front of him after the axe went flying.
The portal dumped Xander on the Vegas Strip, something that Xander wasn’t necessarily adverse to, but he wanted to get back to Cleveland to find out the fates of his Slayers. He started off for the Vegas safe house, to schedule a Willow Airlines back home when he saw it.
There was a paper with a headline about Superman. As in the actual Superman. With full color pictures. Xander didn’t bother reading past the first few lines; he could tell it wasn’t a hoax. He headed inside the closest casino and found their free internet bar.
After conclusively figuring out that he was indeed in a world where Superman and Batman were running around, and Slayers were not, he did the only thing he could think of.
He got drunk.
Xander had always said that he wouldn’t end up like his parents, turning to booze at every opportunity, but he felt he earned it.
At least three dead Slayers, a major fight, being dimensionally displaced with no apparent way of going home, and finding out that wherever he was, caped heroes were the norm, all in one day?
He had definitely earned it.
Didn’t make handling the hangover any easier.
Xander knew he had started drinking in Caesar’s Palace, and at some point, had been to the Bellagio, but wasn’t sure what happened in between. He also had vague recollections of a girl, but frankly, at bars in Vegas, there were always girls.
Wait a second.
Xander braved opening his eye again, and saw pink. A few memories connected in the back of his mind, but he decided it was too painful to try to dredge them to the front.
A subtle stirring awakened to a fact that he felt really stupid not noticing earlier.
He was spooned around a girl. At least, he hoped it was a girl, because he would kill himself if Andrew had had that much of an effect on him.
A quick brush with his right hand assured him that even while drunk, he still wasn’t gay, no matter how much Andrew wanted him to be.
After a moment of concentration on trying to get his damn headache to go the hell away, Xander noticed something else that he probably should have noticed earlier. He was wearing a ring.
A quick check showed that his bedmate was wearing a similar ring, if not slightly more tasteful.
Finally brave enough to get out of bed, Xander carefully extracted himself and looked around for his boxers, finally finding them on a light fixture. Pulling them on quickly, Xander felt his eyes pull to a seemingly innocent piece of paper on the nightstand. Picking it up, he found that it was indeed a legal marriage certificate.
Which posed an even more interesting question.
“How the hell was it legal if I don’t exist in this dimension?”
Jinx woke when she felt someone brush their hand against her breast, but her head hurt so bad that she let it slide. And judging from the pleasant soreness between her legs, they had probably done more the night before.
Not that she could remember it at the moment.
She knew she was in Vegas for her eighteenth birthday. That much was certain. She had kidnapped Raven, Argent, and Starfire, and they hit the Strip.
Jinx had been an active member of the Titans ever since the Brotherhood thing six months ago, and it really wasn’t as bad as she would have thought. Sure, Robin didn’t trust her, but Robin didn’t trust anyone.
Beast Boy was a goof, and Cyborg was as cool as he was the time he infiltrated H.I.V.E., and most of the other Titans had gone back to their own cities. It had been mostly luck that Argent had been in town for her birthday.
After the initial attraction to Kid Flash, their relationship passed quickly. He was a charmer, but that was most of the problem. He was like that with everyone. All of his fangirls. Kid Flash said it was innocent, and it likely was, but after a while, Jinx couldn’t deal with it, and they broke up.
That, and his running wasn’t the only reason he was called the world’s fastest teen. Granted, he could get a lot done in a second, but she wanted someone who could last.
Piecing together the few scattered memories from the night before, whoever it was from last night sure could.
Jinx was actually surprised she could remember anything from last night. Raven had her wine, Toni had her Grey Goose, and she had her Johnny Walker, but Starfire brought along a traditional Tamaranian alcohol that she was drinking on the entire night. Jinx didn’t want to know how she did it. They had all tried a shot at the start of the night, and that alone knocked her ass. And Starfire was still the most sober one at the end of the night; even Raven had been worse off.
She felt the bed shift as her partner got up, and listened to him mumble as he moved about the room. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of the ring on her left hand, just as he said his first coherent sentence of the day.
“How the hell was it legal if I don’t exist in this dimension?”
Jinx decided she was definitely awake with that sentence and sat up immediately. “What?”
The black-haired guy blinked at her. “Uh, meet your husband?” he said with a cringe, tossing her the paper he was holding.
Jinx ignored the paper and glared at him, though the squinted eyes were mainly from the hangover. “What do you mean you don’t exist in this dimension?”
Xander closed his eye as he headache intensified. He scratched the skin under his eye patch. “Uh, legally, is what I meant. Or at least, I shouldn’t exist here. I don’t know. Damn portal creating chaos demons…” he muttered. “I’m Xander, by the way.”
“Jinx,” his new wife offered tentatively, still holding a sheet up to preserve her modesty.
“That’s why you looked familiar,” he said. “Now don’t take this the wrong way,” he threw his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Why the hell can’t I attract a normal girl? Just once, please.”
Jinx’s eyes darkened. “What do you mean by that?” she asked sharply.
He shook his head, an action he quickly regretted. “Nothing against you, understand, but my love life has been far from normal. I’ve attracted a giant praying mantis demon, an ancient mummy, my best friend who ended up the most powerful witch on the planet, a love spell gone wrong had the entire female population of the town after me, vampires, had my virginity taken by a Slayer then dumped out on the sidewalk without my pants, and was engaged to a thousand year old vengeance demon. I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few, but those are just off the top of my head. And now, I accidentally go through a portal set up by an augmented chaos demon, end up in this world, and now not a day later, am married to a person I’ve always thought was fictional. If you think you can beat that, feel free to try.”
And blinked again.
Once more. “Yeah, I can’t beat that. And what do you mean fictional?”
Xander waved his hand negligently. “Comics, movies, cartoons, books, toys. That kind of thing. Of course, since there’s so much material to draw from, there’s no telling what this is in my world. You see.”
He sighed. “I’m still wondering how we ended up married.”
“Vegas does have more wedding chapels that pretty much anywhere on earth,” Jinx smirked.
He gave her a wry smile. “That still doesn’t explain how it’s legal. I literally came through the portal and hit the bars. That’s about it. I don’t have anything proving who I am, so why were we allowed to get married?”
Jinx stopped her new husband from going on any further with a hand. “Get me my bag,” she ordered, pointing across the room. While Xander’s back was turned, she grabbed her top from the floor and threw it on. Just because they had sex the night before was no reason to turn into an exhibitionist, now was it?
Xander plopped her bag down in front of her, and she immediately grabbed her T-comp as Xander went off to find his pants. Scrolling through the outgoing calls from the night before, one stuck out at her, and it was one she expected. Hitting the send command, she waited for the other end to pick up. She looked back at Xander.
“What’s the story behind your eye?” she asked, rather tactlessly, she realized.
Xander snorted. “They’re serious when they tell you not to run with scissors.”
Jinx nodded and left it alone, deciding it probably wasn’t the best time to ask, and fortunately, it looked like her call was being answered.
“Giz, why did I call you last night?”
“Jeez, you look like snot Jinx. Probably all that drinking you did last night, right?”
She closed her eyes. “I’m not in the mood, Mikron
, now why did I call you last night?”
Gizmo grimaced at the sound of his real name. “You were scrumming hammered last night, so I just did what you asked to get you off the line. You wanted me to run my identity worm, the one that sets up papers and snot. I did, and now there’s another Alexander floating around somewhere. Now we’re even, Jenny, don’t call me again.”
Jinx sighed as she shut her communicator. “Well, at least I married a hero,” Xander mumbled.
Jinx just shot him a withering stare. “Yes, I am a Titan. What of it?”
Xander held up his hands quickly. “No, nothing, just glad you don’t want to eat me, sacrifice me to your children and/or god, or try to end the world. It’s a nice change of pace.”
Jinx didn’t know what to say to that. It was kind of like some of Star’s comments. Just smile and nod, because there’s nothing to say.
“I wonder if any of the other girls know what happened last night,” she wondered.