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Shepherding Faith

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Summary: Faith is never black and white it's Grey. A Faith's real family story inspired by Kristal's "Please Save Her." Nominated for a COA 2008!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Grey's AnatomyStephanieClareFR15511,7867469,76630 Mar 0827 Jun 10No

Some Kind Of Miracle

So again with the ridiculously long time between updates. I understand if you have all given up on the fic... i know i probably would have. I found my muse again this week, and by found my muse i mean... met Eliza at a con down here in OZ. This was proceeded by watching every Faith scene and Eliza movie. I'm still in fangirl mode, and i'm sure i don't need to tell anyone on here what an amazingly talented actress she is. I should preface this chapter by saying it is completly unedited and unbetaed... I should have emailed it to MJ... But i just finished it and i'm impatient to hear what you guys think.

ALSO>>>> This is a very episode based chapter... lots of the dialogue comes straight from the episode's 16 and 17 of Grey's. I twisted a few things and i'm sorry if this is rehashing some stuff for those of you that follow Grey's but i tried my best.

I own nothing.


Some Kind of Miracle


Disappearances happen. Pains...Go phantom. Blood...stops running. And people, people fade away.


She is young, her blond hair pulled back off her face in two neat plaits. She is wearing her favorite pink shirt, but it is hidden by the beige jacket her mum had made her wear. It was a cold day in Seattle and they had been riding the ferry boat. It is cold here beside the water. The doctors hand is warm in hers, she needs to make him see, to help him understand. She is scared, her eyes wide against her pale skin as she points at the water.

Derek was numb, the cold from the water soaking through his skin. The bus had taken forever to get back to Seattle Grace, his whole mind focused solely on the deeply ingrained practice of CPR. He counted out loud, focusing on the press of his hand against her chest. Her skin was so cold, her lips blue her body completely still and lifeless. The bus doors were open now, his colleagues staring at him in shock. “It's Meredith” he gasped and suddenly they were moving, everything blurring around them as they moved. He couldn't stop counting, couldn't let himself stop. If he stopped he would fall apart and he wouldn't be able to save Meredith if he fell apart.

They had thrown him out. Bailey and the Chief had thrown him out of the trauma bay, and he understood why, but sitting here in the hall cold and desperate he could only feel helpless. When Mark sat beside him his hand briefly touching Derek's arm he could do nothing but let the tears come


Meredith didn't want to stay here, in this place where Bonnie kept dying. If she could just find the source of the bleeding, she could save her. They kept asking her questions, telling her she didn't have much time but Meredith knew that she had to save Bonnie, she was in the OR looking for the tools she would need to save Bonnie the next time she died. If they would just give her a chance, she could save her.


“Oh god Meredith please don't do this”
Addison hadn't meant to speak out loud, but she couldn't help but glance behind her through the closing door to the hall and the slumped form of Derek. God she hoped this would work.

“You can't stay here Meredith” Denny hopes she will listen, there isn't a lot of time and he needs her to understand, if she doesn't everything will change. “You can't stay here because George's dad died, because Izzie lost me. And Christina, when she was 9 she was in a car accident with her father and he bled out in front of her while they waited for an ambulance to arrive and Alex...” Meredith was pleading with him to stop, “They are barely breathing Meredith and this will break them, they don't deserve this” She wouldn't meet his eyes. “You can't stay here Meredith” he was almost pleading with her now.
“I don't want to” her voice is strained but defiant. Denny has only pity in his eyes as he says “Yes you do, because its easier here.” he sighs. They wouldn't be able to keep her presence here hidden much longer, already she had stayed too long. They didn't have much time. “Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He is still an optimist, he still believes in true love, magic, snow white and sleeping beauty. If you don't come back from this, if you let his world shatter just one more time, he won't come back from this”

Faith was use to running for her life, She loved the way her blood rushed through her veins, sounding loud in her ears, being able to feel the pumping of her heart in every part of her body. The sweet mix of adrenaline and fear as it sang through her, the strange moments of clarity it afforded you. The burn in your lungs as you gasp for breath, the pull of your muscles as you push for just those few more steps. They way you bargain with the Power's that be to let you make it to that door, that tree, that pub or in a distant past to make it back to Addy at the hospital or too an almost forgotten New York brownstone. It was those moments where she knew in her heart that even if she didn't make it, even if she tripped or fell, if she turned the corner and no one was there to rescue her that she wouldn't mind the alternative. It was raining now, the large droplets smacking cold against her skin, the grass beneath her feet instantly becoming soft and waterlogged. She was in the cemetery again, she turned around quickly searching for some kind of danger, glancing at her stomach she was briefly thankful that this time she wasn't bleeding.
“I don't want to”
The voice had rung out clear in the empty cemetery, the voice strained and almost breaking, tears in the voice. A slow smile spread across Faith's face, her eyes lighting up a little, she loved it when she had someone to play with. She fingered the blade in her hand, the finely balanced weight of it, the blood that wouldn't wash off gleaming in the pale moonlight. She was running again now, a hunter searching for its prey.


“I don't want to” Meredith cried again, the corridor where she sat with Denny was filling with water. Tendrils of it reaching out to touch her and drag her down. “What happened in the water Meredith?” Denny asked again, his voice was as calm as ever.
“I swam, I fought hard.” she was repeating it now like a mantra to herself as if she said it enough times it might be true. He had already asked about the bathtub and her dreams.
“Mere, what happened in the water?” the water was almost touching them now, the puddle stretching out towards them, coming closer with every second. “I was swimming, I was fighting, it was so cold and then I thought, just for a second I thought, whats the point? And then let go, I stopped fighting. Don't tell anybody OK?”


Meredith was Christina's person, from a time not so long ago when they had nobody but each other. She stood at the end of her bed, while they fought to warm her body. While they shocked her again. Searching for a signs of life where there was none. “Tray Again” she ordered, “Try Again” They had to save Meredith because Christina was getting married and Meredith didn't know yet, she had to tell Meredith because if Meredith didn't know then it wasn't real. Meredith was her person and Christina really needed her person right now.


Meredith was struggling to breath, drawing in huge gasps of air as she sobbed. She understood now why Bonnie had been so angry at her. Meredith had given up on life, life that had been stolen from Bonnie. “Oh god! I can't...I want...I had intimacy issues. Do you know how stupid that seems now?” Struggling to find the words, Meredith broke down “I need to go back. Please, I can't...I can't.”


Ellis Grey was dying. Derek was working to keep the woman who had so badly damaged Meredith alive. The same woman who looked at her daughter and saw straight through her. Derek was putting everything he had in him into saving this woman he hated, Meredith was downstairs cold and lifeless and he wasn't going to let Ellis Grey have the satisfaction of dying on his watch.


Dylan appeared again “She's here” he hissed to Denny. Bonnie looked frightened “We were told we didn't have much time” she whispered to no one in particular. Denny looked around the nurse's station where they were gathered searching for some kind of inspiration. Finding nothing he grabbed Meredith's arm, hauling her to her feet “Go” he hissed at Dylan and Bonnie “Distract her if you can, I need you to buy us some more time” He pulled Meredith along behind him, half dragging her in his haste. “Meredith” he said urgently “listen to me, you have to go back, you can't stay here anymore it's not safe for you.” Meredith felt a flicker of fear run through her, grounding her and making everything snap sharply into focus. Behind Denny she caught a glimpse of her mother. “Mom?” she calls out dropping Denny's hand and stepping into the corridor. “You shouldn't be here Meredith” her mom says her eyes drifting past her daughter to the end of the corridor. She couldn't see anything yet but she could feel it, something bad was coming. “Neither should you.” Meredith says, trying to push her mother in the direction Denny had pointed her in.


The cemetery had given way to the twisting corridors of a hospital, and Faith slowed her pace to a walk. Something was different from the first time she been here. The little blond was back now thrashing helplessly on the floor as she bled out again reliving the moments of her death on repeat. Faith smiled as she walked over her, grinding the heel of her boot into the little Buffy lookalikes midsection as she went. They were trying to distract her, which meant someone fun was here to play with.

She found them in a corridor, she could smell their fear, even though she hadn't given them anything to fear yet. After all she just wanted to play. A sly smile spread across her face as she stepped into the light, making herself known. “Is this a private party? Or can just anyone crash?”


Ellis pushed Meredith behind her “Just keep going Meredith, you are anything but ordinary. Now Run! Run!”

Faith moved to follow, but stopped dead in her tracks. Looking around her frantically. “Addy?” she called out tentatively. “She can't hear you kid” Denny said appearing where moment ago Ellis had stood. “Sometimes you'll be in the same place at exactly the same time can almost hear there voice. Can almost feel them as though they are close enough to reach out and touch. But that's all you get, that's it. Moments with the people you love.”

A blade clattered to the floor. “Did they find me?” she asked. A million thoughts racing through her head. She had to get out of here. The would in her abdomen was bleeding again.


Christina stared at the monitor in shock, Meredith's heart was beating. Elsewhere in the hospital Derek was calling time time of death for Ellis and Faith was removing her own IV.


Soooooo. I'm pretty sure i can't avoid the angry and homicidal Faith moments... but i'm hoping i can keep her out of jail. Also just finished watching seasons 5 and 6 of Greys and i'm pretty sure now i'm going to have to save Mark for Lexie... i mean... Little Grey and Mc Steamy totally get my vote for new favourite tv couple.
Let me know what you guys think... also i'm totally open to ideas... i'm not sure what i'm doing here.

Thanks for the recs... and to AJ checking to make sure i'm alive and not getting discouraged when i promise updates and deliver big fat loads of nothing.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Shepherding Faith" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 27 Jun 10.

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