Ok, so Xander watched too many John Belushi movies
Disclaimer: In first part
Authors note: I am showing Giles to be in the sort of shape he would actually have been in if worked over by an expert like Angelus. Not graphic but consider his "...the last time I tortured anyone they didn't even HAVE chainsaws" comment.
Six months by Xander's reckoning later:
Xander and Elisha had dressed carefully and according to an idea of his. All seemed ready for his return as the human of the two spoke.
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we have a tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, its night and we're wearing sunglasses."
"Hit it." The female responded.
The couple stepped forward and were in the Summers living room with Joyce, who was staring at them in shock. It had been a hard day for her. Only and hour or so ago Buffy had gone off to "Save the word again" and the elder Summers freely admitted she had handled the whole thing about as badly as any human being could. The supernatural was real, Buffy really WAS a supernatural superhero and she, Joyce Summers, had not noticed. Buffy had lied to her and kept it secret.
Of course the two weeks her daughter had spent in a Arkham Asylum West for telling the same story WITHOUT proof probably had something to do with it. Having your child committed for trusting you with their most precious secret will tend to have a detrimental effect on Mother/Daughter relations. Telling her to never come back if she left was also something that that nice Dr Hannibal Lecter (Buffy's assigned psychiatrist) would have disapproved of too. And now two Men in Black had just teleported into her living room.
"Mrs S, we need you to come along with us." The taller of the two said.
"Xander?" The eldest Summers hesitantly replied, realising it was one of Buffy's friends and a girl she didn't know. Which only raised the question a few million questions like, "What are they doing in my living room?", "When did Xander learn to teleport?", and "Did I leave the Iron on?" among others.
The pair stood along side her and stepped forward into a room in Sunnydale Memorial Hospital where Willow, Oz and Cordelia were cleaning up after the Soul Restoration ritual.
Xander Harris stepped around the hospital bed, held out his hand and the wooden cup appeared in it.
"Drink from this and get dressed while we make one more pickup." The former Zeppo said in a new and very commanding tone. Xander had not been given a huge list of powers for the assignment, and this was one of them. Command. The other one his trainers had agreed was critical was Credibility, he would always be believed when he spoke the truth. Right now though the fact that no-one in the room thought to question or challenge him spoke volumes.
The redhead sipped from the some of the red wine and instantly felt better. She was about to ask her oldest friend what was going on when he and the woman with him stepped forward and vanished, Xander parting "We'll be back" notable for a truly appalling attempt at an Austrian accent.
Buffy was holding a clearly dying Giles in her arms and crying hysterically when two people suddenly appeared, one of them a demon she could clearly sense. She was about to launch herself at them when the human of the two spoke.
"Stop." Instantly the slayer ceased movement. Giles continued to bleed over her, he had been tortured for hours by an expert and was barely recognisable. "Giles drink this."
Buffy held up her watcher's head so the liquid could be poured into his throat. He coughed a couple of times. By the time he had finished his second cough the broken ribs were healed, the third degree burns were gone, and a dozen other horrific injuries had healed. The Englishman looked at the cup, to Xander, back to the cup then asked a question.
"Xander, how was I healed?" Because Watcher Rupert Giles was still thinking clearly after all that had been done to him in the last day and this was clearly not the Xander Harris that had disappeared into the maw of Acathla minutes ago. "Also who is your charming companion and why are you two dressed that way?"
"Well Gman you were healed by the Holy Grail, this is my Wife Elisha and we're on a mission from God."
The next update will hopefully be sooner and include some explanations to the remaining Scoobies.