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Director's Cut IV

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This story is No. 4 in the series "Director's Cut". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: On a break from a rare porn WITH plot, Xander bitches to Spike. Not graphic.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Teen TitansMediancatFR151619162,39714 Sep 0814 Sep 08Yes
Disclaimer: Joss created the Buffy characters, and DC comics owns the crossover characters. Written in 20 minutes, though not as a response to any particular challenge. "Centurion Studios" is my creation, though the attitude behind its creations, sadly, is not.

The Titans are the DC Comics versions, not those abortions that make up the TV series. Starfire is 6'4" and built like a supermodel, thank you very much.


The three former Teen Titans variously screamed in ecstasy and squealed in delight, while Xander yelled "Oh God!" about three times a second. A burst of orange light burned a hole through the hotel room floor.

Finally, their throes of desire spent, they collapsed onto the bed, where Xander said, looking at the hole, "So how am I going to explain this to hotel management?"

And Spike yelled "Cut! Take ten, everyone."

Donna Troy, Starfire and Raven immediately scrambled for their outfits and put them on. "How the hell did we get roped into this, again?" Donna asked of no one in particular.

"Union rules, love," Spike said, answering anyway. "Quid pro quo. Your guys borrowed Buffy and Faith for a gangbang with the Justice League."

"Who came up with this script?" Raven asked.

"Can't say. Then you might want to go off and beat them senseless and we can't let that happen. But it is from Centurion Studios."

Xander collapsed against the bed.

"Watch it, mate. That needs to be cleaned and prepped for that Willow-Tara fic."

"I'd say I'm sorry, except I'm not," Xander said. "Good god. Centurion again?"

"Yup. And I 'm thinking we should be grateful Buffy's not here right now."

"Oh, you think so?" Xander asked sardonically.

"What is it with this Centurion Studios?" Raven asked.

"Centurion," Spike said, "Is a fanfiction producer that seems to specialize in stories about most of the Scoobies gettin' their comeuppance when more powerful types drop by and show them what's what. Most of 'em don't get graphic enough for PWP's, but a couple do, like this one. What the hell are you complaining about anyway, Harris? I agree the premise seems to run counter to everything Buffy stands for -- she's the bleedin' heroine, after all --but it's gettin' you shagged by three of the hottest babes in comics."

"And I'm not complaining about that part. Teenage fantasies and all that. And I don't hear the ladies complaining either."

A few seconds of silence, and finally Donna Troy said, "I've had a lot worse." Starfire and Raven agreed.

"Not exactly overwhelmin' you with compliments there, lad," spike said, smirking.

"My point is," Xander continued, "Is that it gets a little annoying to be someone's vessel for bashing Buffy. Or Willow. Or all the other Slayers. Yeah, probably none of them could take these lovely ladies in a fistfight -- though Will could probably give Raven a run for her money in the magic department -- no offense --"

"None taken," Raven said primly. "That would be a fair fight."

"But the thing is, they wouldn't be dumb enough to try unless they had no choice. Run battles between a group of Slayers and these three a hundred times and you'd likely get a hundred different results. Sometimes the Slayers would win, sometimes the Titans would, sometimes no one would. And probably once or twice it would break into an orgy, and I want to be there to watch. But it doesn't have a damned preordained ending. It's not like Joyce squaring off against the Hulk, for Pete's sake."

"Couldn't agree more," Spike said. "I don't write these things, I just direct 'em. Now. You ready for the next scene?"

"Where we kill a hundred vampires before an army of Slayers can even get out their stakes, and then laugh at their incompetence? Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go screw over our heroines."

They walked to the graveyard set. "Cue the vampires," Spike said. "Actors, take your marks, and . . . action!"

The End

You have reached the end of "Director's Cut IV". This story is complete.

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