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Help I've 'Fallen' and I can't get up

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Summary: Xander runs into a new Apocalypse in the deserts.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Transformers > Xander-CenteredTjinFR1513790194,52512 Sep 0912 Sep 09Yes
“Pick up, Pick up Pick up, This is an emergency,” Xander said as he watched the battle evolving before him. After a moment the satellite phone clicked and Xander sighed as Giles’ cultured voice picked up on the other end.

“Giles, there’s a problem. What? No I haven’t gotten to Jordan yet I was stuck at the border, No there was an annoying midget that refused my passport, kept insisting I was some actor, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” Xander screamed before taking a deep, calming breath “Look I am at the great Pyramids right now and there is a… Thing eating one of them. No I don’t know which one! No I can’t be any more clear. What part of, it is EATING A PYRAMID are you missing. Noooo, It’s not a mirage… It’s SUCKING IT UP LIKE A FREAKING HOOVER!

WHAT? I am NOT suffering from heatstroke! No, don’t put me on…” Xander stifled a scream as some teen pop band came on over the phone and made a mental note to never let Rona choose the Hold music again.

Growling to himself as he drove towards the massive beast, Xander idly wondered what good his axe would do against such a thing before shrugging it off, he needed to stop it, whatever it was. “It was supposed to be an easy mission; just go pick one girl, easy in, easy out. No firepower, no explosives, no backup and I’m on freaking HOLD!”

Pulling the Humvee to a stop, Xander growled as Giles’ voice finally came back over the phone.

“I KNOW THERE’S NO FREAKING PROPHECY, I DON”T NEED A VACATION! I-SHIT!” Xander screamed as a Massive stone crushed the vehicle he had just been in to scrap. “I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP GILES!” He screamed as he rushed towards the monster “I AM NOT DRIVING WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN, I’M ABOUT TO BE FREAKING EATEN BY MECHA-GODZILLA’S UGLY SISTER, SO WHILE YOU FIGURE OUT IF I’M JOKING OR NOT, I GOTTA GO SAVE THE FREAKING WORLD!” Xander screamed before shutting off the phone and making a second mental note to kick the elder man’s ass if he survived this.


(A/N) I do not own BtVS or Transformers: Rise of the Fallen

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