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Summary: Hatter's always had bad luck. He just never realized how much. (An Alice story)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > AliceziliFR1332,423031,8109 Dec 0911 Dec 09No

Won't You Sit Down

Disclaimer: I do not own Alice or any of its characters.

A/N: This takes place before the events of the mini-series. Because I couldn't leave Hatter's back story unimagined. Not a crossover.


Hatter was holed up in one of the many rooms in one of the many empty buildings. There was a collection of rooms attached to it and it even led outside. The more he looked around the more he liked it. It was quiet- He looked back toward the main room where a loud crash had come from. The only person who knew he was here was Doormouse, who was passed out in one of the rickety chairs that filled the main room.

He rushed back into the other room. A man was holding Doormouse off the floor. He wasn't a suit or any part of the deck. Hatter moved across the floor quickly, “Hey put him down.”

The man shoved him back into one of the chairs. “I'm working here.” He turned back to Doormouse and opened his mouth. Then he shut it before dropping Doormouse on the floor. He turned back to Hatter. He loomed over him. “You look like a man who knows people, I'm looking for someone maybe you could help me.”

Hatter nodded, “Sure, sure be glad to help. Who are you looking for?”


Hatter nodded again, “Sure, I know where he hangs out. Give me an hour and I can have him here for you. Who's looking for him?” He tried to jump out of his chair but the man kept him in place. “You know that doesn't really matter. I don't need to know I'm just the messenger, right. Be back in hour, just need to get out of the chair.”

The man smiled showing ever single one of his filed down teeth. “The Queen is looking for him. Has been for a month now. But it seems he's a pretty hard man to find. So hard, that she asked me to find him.” He pulled out a knife from his sleeve and began flipping it an inch from Hatter's face. “Pretty risky if you ask me. That cow knows how much I like killing people and here she is asking me to not kill someone. But to actually find them and bring them back in one piece. She actually said that one piece.”

“And who might you be?” Hatter curled his hand into a fist.

“And here I thought you were a smart guy. I'm March, Hatter.” March slammed his fist into Hatter's face. He laughed as Hatter flew out of the chair and crashed into four others. March flipped the knife before throwing it at a door. He tilted his head before going to retrieve his knife. He looked down at the huddled form by the door. “Do I wanna kill you? It's not fun if they're asleep.” He kicked Doormouse hard in the side. Doormouse snorted before rolling over. He was beginning to kneel down when he heard a groan. March sighed before standing up. He walked back over to Hatter and pulled a bag out of his inside pocket of his jacket. He took a rope out of the bag to tie Hatter's hands together and then he put the bag over Hatter's head. March hefted the smaller man onto his shoulder and walked out the building.

March walked into a waiting scarab, that quickly took off as soon as he got in. He shoved Hatter into a corner, kicking him when he groaned. He crouched down beside Hatter who was trying to pull off the bag. “I put that on for a reason. You try to take that off and I will sew it to you.” March gave a slight slap to Hatter's cheek. Then he sat down beside him. Occasionally he would nick Hatter with his knife but the younger man never made a sound.

“We've landed.” The pilot said.

March stood up, “Yeah I can see that.” He yanked Hatter off the ground and began dragging him.
Hatter was barely able to keep up only the iron grip on his arm kept him going. Finally March let go of him and he fell hard to his knees. “Here you wanted a Hatter, I got you one. Now can I go kill someone?”

The bag was pulled off his head. Hatter looked around and then he immediately looked down to try and school his features. He was in an empty dark room with the Queen of Harts in front of him and Mad March blocking the exit. In a word, he was fucked.
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