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List of Things Dawnie is Not Allowed to Do

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Voyeurs, Destroyers and Predators". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: In Second Child, Xander referred to a List. Here it is.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > ComedyMissE + 5 othersFR13133,17645163,90918 Jan 1022 Sep 11No

Cook. Ever.

Disclaimer: Do not own or claim rights to Buffy

A/N: I'm opening this up to readers to add things to the list. I would prefer to keep this light, clean and fluffy. Not trying to be serious here, folks. Or you could just suggest topics for me to write about. That works, too.


Xander peered suspiciously at the sandwich before him. “Dawnie, what the hell is that?”

“That?” She looked at her sandwich with quiet pride. “That's my 'All White Work.'”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Well, it starts with white bread, because it's not all white if it's not white bread.”

“Uh huh. Got you so far.”

“Then you spread with cream cheese, which is the whitest spread I could think of.”

“Yes, well, butter is that yucky yellow, after all.”

“Then I used mashed potato,” she continued.

“Which is usually white,” he affirmed.

“Then I added very finely chopped white onion.” When he frowned, Dawn continued, “Well, if you soak it for a few seconds in water, that takes a lot of the heat out, and you can eat it raw.”

“Fair enough.”

“Then I added coleslaw. Now, I know that coleslaw isn't totally white, but it's very white, what with the white cabbage, and the dressing, and stuff.”

He thought about that for a moment. “Okay, I'll grant that. Not interested in eating it so far, but I'll grant the whiteness of coleslaw.”

“And then I topped it off with this!” she announced, pulling out a slab of white chocolatey goodness.

“You … what?”

“I used the microplane zester to finely grate the white chocolate over the coleslaw to temper the spice of the slaw. Of course, I then put cream cheese and mashed potato on the other slice of bread, and put it all together.”

After a stunned moment, Xander simply turned and walked out of the room.


Sometime later, Faith wandered into Xander's workshop. “Yo, X. B told me to let you know dinner's up.”

Xander looked up warily from his work. “Who cooked?”

“Andrew,” she answered distantly as she looked around the room. She spotted a notice board on one wall, complete with a nearly-blank piece of paper pegged up. Moving closer, she saw that it was labelled 'Things that Dawnie isn't allowed to do.' Each line of the page had a number, but only the first had anything written beside it. “What's this?”

He looked over and grinned. “Exactly what it says.”

Faith read the first entry. 'Cook. Ever.' She grinned. “Gotta agree with that one, Xan-man. So very gotta agree.”
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