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Cartoon Heroes

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Cartoon Heroes". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Xander was reborn into the Parker Family

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Spider-Man > Xander-CenteredJCHattenFR713,096179,06827 Jan 1027 Jan 10Yes
Cartoon Heroes

Author: John "Hatten" Carlsson
Beta: First Eddy29456 and this version is fixed up again by Hawklan
Song Fic: Cartoon Heroes by Aqua
Disclaimer: Don’t own it. BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon and the song to Aqua (I think). Anything of Spiderman belongs to Marvel.


"X wake up," the girl's voice gently shook him repeatedly.

Xander's memory felt like it was stuck in quicksand.

*That's May's voice* his memory confirmed, but who the hell was May?

May started to shake him again, "X Wake up now. This is not funny," her voice was worried now.

Xander's memory froze, something was wrong. There was not one set of memories but two different sets of memories.

In one were Buffy and the Hellmouth, in the other May 'Mayday' Parker his beloved twin sister.

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

"Alex, wake up now," his father's and mother's voices said, echoed like twin voices, and they were filled with fear.

*Dad and Mom,* Xander could remember Peter Parker, his dad, the now older and retired Spiderman, hero of New York, and his mother the beautiful Mary Jane Watson Parker, photo model, movie star, mother and housewife, but his dad was Anthony Harris, friendly but drunken failure of a man and his mother Jessica Harris, violent and abusive when drunk.

His school record was good. Chess club member and football star planning a future in advanced robot programming and biochemistry until his dad's genetics happened to him and his sister.

Spiderman and Spidergirl were born.

They were heroes, using their dad's old equipment, gadgets and weapons he had built from things found in the lair of Green Goblin and his girlfriend from school Tara Felicia, but the other memory was of a school failure and a misfit without confidence who was a hero in the silence. A vampire hunter that got no respect no matter what he did.

We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme

"What happened?" Xander asked as he sat up. His head was a bundle of pain, the two sets of memories just made a scramble out of his life. Was he Alexander Parker or Alexander Harris or both?

"I'd like to find out, son," Peter, no, his dad, said.

"You fainted during dinner," Mary-Jane, his mom, said. She was worried he could hear it.

"Yeah, anything to avoid Mom's food," May said, jokingly, trying to hide her fear.

Xander smiled about the food. Mary-Jane, mother, never did get the hang of cooking good food. "No, Sis. I . . . I am not sure what it is."

Peter nodded, "Something strange then, Alex," he said in a knowing voice.

Xander blinked, "You could say that."

The memory of Sunnydale, the fear when Angelus was on his murder spree came back to him more and more. He could feel his memory of this life becoming weaker, no not weaker equally strong and equally important.

Xander gave him the X-smile, as his dad called it. It meant, "My secret, live with it."

Mom frowned, "Alex, please tell us," she said. "You don't faint, this could be important," she was begging him.

Xander could see the rest of his family worry especially his Dad and May, damn spidersense, they always knew when it was something strange or dangerous to themselves or their family.

Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

May was a proud girl, but for her brother she didn't care. She used her full power puppy eye attack including tears and a trembling voice. "If you don't let us help, X then if anything would happen, it would be my fault."

Xander swallowed. Damn it, he could stand up against The Juggernaut without crumbling in fear. He managed to survive and win in a fight against Magneto II, the Queen of magnetism and her daddy's daughter in every way, it did almost cost him his eye, a large scar was now over that part of the face and it was the last time he went easy on a criminal, but the vision of his sister or mother whimpering made him fold and talk. Besides him Peter, Dad, was smiling. "I think I have to talk to Dr. Strange. It's the memory of a past life awakening," Xander said.

"A past life in another reality," he said whispering so only those with the power of a spider could hear him.

"Let's take the car," Mary's voice was in full command tone.

The dinner was forgotten.

"Can we stop and get something from McDonald's on the way?" May asked as they left the house. Xander could only hope, they were 17 and food was a priority.

Protect family, food, save the world, girls, homework in that order...

It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

The family sat and waited on the side of the room. In the center of the room sat Xander, beside him stood Dr. Strange.

The doctor's hands were glowing with a magical light.

Mary Jane ate her burger. Food was always something she had hard time with when something strange happened with her family. It was a wonder she was not anorexic. *her little hero boy, he looks so scared,* was all she could think.

May listened and was glad for the food. Strange things always made her hungry and with this family it was a miracle that she was not fat as a hippo.

*X sure looks scared, but so would I," she thought, hoping her brother would be fine.

Peter carefully ate the burger. Magic, he hated it. It was nothing like science, all of the laws were incomprehensible. Still, he trusted Strange, and his mystical Spidersense told him that the danger his boy was facing was not life threatening, at least not directly, *but my boy sure looks hungry.*

Strange's voice echoed in the large room, "Empty your mind, boy," as he started to read Alexander's aura.

Xander groaned, *Empty my mind? I am hungry, I think I am going to die, did I mention I was hungry? There was no food and I missed breakfast*and the stupid criminal gang, Vulture 5, that he and May had to fight did not make him less hungry, but he remembered facing Buffy in the library. IF Willow dies because of Angelus so do you.

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

He remembered grasping the sword as he and Angelus fell into Hell and the voice of Giles screaming his name and the bleeding body of Buffy on the ground.
He remembered the angels raiding and freeing him from hell, giving him a choice. Go to heaven or be reborn and free from the pain of hell.
He remembered how he said, "I want to help to protect and save the innocent," he remembered the shock in the face of the angel and the caring smile.

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

The voice of creation, beautiful and warm, caring and cruel, spoke in his memory. You can serve the Powers That be, the self appointed caretakers of your earth realm or you may join my angels protecting heaven from demons.

Last being given the rare chance of being reborn with his memory intact and given the powers he would need to protect people without serving the PTB.
He remembered asking about the last choice.

You will grow up into a new life. On the memorial of your past lives death the memory will return and you will have the choice to stay and fight in that place or go to Sunnydale and be a champion of the innocent.

His choice was to leave this world and his family to a pale awful world to fight and die alone.

We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

"Do you know what it is?" His Dad's voice interrupted his brooding.

*I'm becoming dead boy, or webboy," he smiled.

Strange's voice explained what he had seen. "It's a divine spell, an angel or something like that has returned your child's past lives memory to him, It's nothing dangerous, just confusing, but I fear he is standing in front of a choice he has to make."

May ran over and hugged her brother, relived that he was fine.

"What kind of choice?" Mary Jane asked.

Dr. Strange answered her, "I do not know."

Before they could speak further Xander's voice, grim as the scar on his young face made them keep quiet, "I died as a 17 year old vampire hunter, by closing a portal to hell I got trapped inside of it. I was tortured days, weeks, months, years, I don't know. Then angels came into hell and freed me, and hundreds of captured souls. They gave me a choice, be reborn or rest in heaven. I asked if I could help and now I must chose to stay with my loving family or go to a world where I am alone and fight a never ending war against vampires and demons in a town standing on the gate of hell."

His family suddenly hugged him. Seeing the confirmation in Strange's face and the pain in his voice they knew their baby boy, May's brother, was telling the truth.

Wong the oriental servant of Strange carefully said, "His voice sounds so old, so awfully old."

Strange nodded sadly, "He has the memory 17 years of living and only god knows how many years of torture in a Helldimension. All that in his 17 year old body would make any one of us old."

Wong clapped his hands, hoping that praying to the kamis, that the child adult would make the right choice.

And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

Xander said, "My enemies called me the White Knight, Dad, Mom." His eyes were filled with despair as he hugged his family closer. "I have to abandon friends I always loved to protect others."

Mays voice said whispering, "I can't do it without you."

Dad's voice was fearful, "My son, don't go. Boy don't go."

"They are alone now, no one to protect them when the night falls, if I stay children will die, Dad, Mom," Xander whispered as he pulled his black Spiderman hood over his face and his body started to fade away, leaving a crying family that loved him behind. They could feel his love and his burning belief in responsibly and caring. The White Knight was going home.

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

"What a hero," Faith said, sounding impressed as she and Willow walked around in the cemetery.

Willow said, "Yes, but according to Giles and Buffy, Angel's soul was returned just as they both fell inside the portal Acathla created."

Faith stopped and blinked, "That's so cruel."

Willow nodded in agreement, "Yes, Faith."

Faith said, "Man, that's so unfair. I wish I could have met him."

Willow smiled, "He would have loved you."

A cruel voice interrupted them, "Then I just have to let the two of you meet him then."

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

"Kakistos," Faith whispered in fear and her face went deadly pale.

Willow was just as pale, not that she knew about Kakistos, but the other twelve vampires were reason enough to make her pale in fear.

As Kakistos started to smile as he ordered, "Take them boys."

Then suddenly something strange happened and the vampires stopped.

Trick, Kakistos’ right hand man, suddenly went flying up into the air screaming just to land on a nearby roof.

Faith could see that a thin rope was stuck on his head and he screamed in pain.

A dark shape landed among them holding Trick under his arm bound tight.

The dark shape dressed in a black costume with a white spider on his back suddenly spoke, "I am sorry. I forgot a stake. This most likely will hurt a bit more, you are welcome to scream if you like vampire." The last part was said with a hate that made shivers of fear and lust rip loose inside of Faith.

Then the costume guy ripped Trick's head off using his bare hands.

Faith's voice was dry, "I think I have a spare stake," she said in a small voice.

The man smiled and jumped an impossible 8 feet jump, to land beside her.

"Great, could I borrow it? Oh and call me Spiderman."

Faith carefully held up the stake to the masked man. She just knew that he was smiling as he turned toward the vampires and crouched down to jump.

Kakistos suddenly felt overwhelming rage, "You will die."

Then he fell down in a pile of dust and bones and the Spiderman stared to fight with a fury that would make Sensei Daredevil and Ironfist happy and of course make old Logan laugh in joy.

You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

Willow stood, still trembling, as the stranger walked towards them. His movements were like a predator and the vampire dust filled the alley like a mist.
"Hello, Willow, I'm hope you remember me," the masked man said.

Faith looked carefully, she could see that the masked man knew Willow, but also that he knew Willow would never be able to recognize him.

"I ... I ... I don't know you, do I?" Willow stammered.

Spiderman carefully removed his mask, smiling the friendliest smile Faith had ever seen. "You really think a small thing like Hell would keep me down?"

Willow eyes started to cry, "No, no, don't let it be a dream it's Xander. He's back."

She ran over giving him a bone breaking hug, but Xander did not mind it. "You could also hug me," he said to the other girl he saw, wagging his eyebrows.

Faith smiled a crooked smile. "Why ? I don't know you."

Xander rolled his eyes. "You could pretend."

Faith had a big grin on her now. "And why would I do that?"

Xander looked like he was thinking hard, "Because I would be forever your friend?"

What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do

Giles shook his head. "This is remarkable, totally unheard of."

Xander nodded, "So I was told. I'm the first that said no to a free ticket to heaven just to go back as a mortal."

The rest of the gang just looked in awe as he had explained about his powers and the alternate world he lived in.
It just sounded like a DC comic just without Superman.

Even the ‘Detect demon’ spell said that he was a human with a soul.

Giles finally hugged him, "I'm glad you're home, son."

Buffy smiled as she sat in the chair far away hiding her face.

Xander asked, "Buffy, why are you staying over there?"

Joyce's hand carefully brushed away Buffy's hair to reveal an eye patch trying to hide an awful scar.

Buffy started to cry, "I'm sorry Xander. I failed you all and I'm a freak now."

Xander walked over and sat down, "Did you learn anything from this?"

Seeing her nodding he continued, "Then it was a mistake and not a failure. Just never forget what happened and forgive yourself. By the way, the eye patch? It looks cute."

Buffy look up angry and insulted by his claim that her Scarface was cute, but she could see his scar just missing his right eye. It was a hideous scar, looking like someone had tried to rip his head off.

Xander smiled, "You can hide your scar and your pink eyepatch does look cute."

For the first time Buffy believed what Joyce and Willow said and she hugged Xander crying in joy, her family was back.

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

The vampire shivered in the cold night, desperately trying to find a place to hide when a boot suddenly blocked his crawling path.

A strong hand lifted him up and a voice he remembered in shame and hate spoke. "Hello Dead boy, need help?" Xander said.

Angel voice was weak as he said, "I'm sorry."

Xander rolled his eyes as he put Angel on his shoulder and walked to the empty mansion. "You do know seeing you nude is actually worse than being in hell, deadboy?"

Angels mind was slowly coming to terms that:

(1) He was not dead or in hell.
(2) Harris had him.
(3) He almost wished he was back in hell as Harris continued to crack bad jokes as he roof jumped carrying him like a bag of potatoes.

In Xander's mind, he was occupied. *Okay PTB I will do the favor you asked off me. I protect DB until he can be your champion, but how the hell shall I tell the rest of the gang that DB is back? They'll dust him.*

Spiderman and the bloodsucker vanished into the night.

There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon – Toon
Town – Town

The next day

In the library it was quiet. The only thing you could here was the frantic cleaning of glasses.

Xander smiled. They took the news better than I thought they would. He then could see Giles's face turning furious and an evil smile on Giles's face started
to make him nervous.

The End

The End

You have reached the end of "Cartoon Heroes". This story is complete.

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