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Phoenix Burning

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Summary: During his infamous road trip Xander met and saves Davey Boy Smith’s life and got an invitation to ‘The Dungeon. He The portal Dawn’s blood opened drained the Hell Mouth’s power, forcing it dormant for at least a century. This takes place around s

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Freak ParadeCanadianPhoenixFR1524,516011,20010 Nov 0310 Nov 03No

Chapter 2a

Two days after Chapter One

Phoenix's entrance music; "Break Shit" by Limp Biskit hits the arena like a ton of Jell-O. Phoenix was being followed by two hot women each carrying a case of beer. The crowd was stunned, they were used to seeing Stone Cold drink, but Phoenix wasn't known for that sort of thing, then again he was a newcomer to this particular fed. As his entrance music faded another began and stayed on repeat 'Why Can't We Be Friends' by Reel Big Fish.

By this time Phoenix and the cases were in the ring. He bent down and took a six pack from one of the cases. "Now Steve, I want to introduce you to a good friend of mine" Phoenix holds up the six pack and a camera focuses on it "SC, back in Calgary we had a saying 'When you waste beer, you are a waste.' Now I know you're one of the great wrestlers, so I'm here to help you."

Phoenix takes one of the beers from the six pack, and with a casual ease only found with great amounts of practice opens the beer. "See SC this is how you open a beer, observe how it stays in the can. Now I couldn't help but notice you knock your cans together, that doesn't help the process at all SC. All you're doing is agitating the beer, honestly the point here is to keep it IN the can."

"Now for the second part of the lesson, how to drink a beer, you seem to have an aversion to actually getting it into your mouth. When he finished he little speech Phoenix puts a can of Canadian to his mouth and chugs the entire thing. Bending down he takes another out of the case and repeats the process. "See SC no beer outside of my mouth, now I don't expect you to be able to do something that advanced this quick."

"So SC if you think you can handle drinking a man's beer come down here have a seat and let the drinking begin." Phoenix takes two beers from the six pack and sets them down. "If you feel intimidated you can sip yours."

Before anything "Word Life" "This is basic Thuganomics" hits the PA and out comes John Cena along with a mic. Cena has an awkward look on his face as he points towards the ring towards Phoenix. Cena rolls in the ring as he then raises his arms and makes the WORD LIFE gesture with his hands. Cena then gets Phoenix's face.
Look at this chump thinking he can teach how to drink a beer
You need to get yourself a pair of panties, because i think you just turned Queer
Wanna tell me how you drink that beer again
No wait in fact go back little baby into your playpen!
You can't see me i'll drink you down into the ground
here pass me that beer i'll show you how it goes down
*Cena grabs the beer , swigs it off in one*
Whats the matter Phoenix you lookin like a hussy
Maybe you should stick to the Martini's because you aint nothing but a...
*Crowd : PUSSY!!!*

Phoenix takes his mic in one hand and a full beer in the other, he chugs the beer before rebutting. It's been a while since I've listened to Eminem, so you'll have to excuse me Vanilla Ice." The crowd laughs at the dig on the so called rapper in the ring, while he was waiting Phoenix has been playing the crowd like a fiddle. They wanted to hear what else he had to say. "Listen white rappers are like non-dairy creamer. Nobody knows how they work, and everyone knows they're fake."

Look your shook
dont wanna battle face to face
I'll bring your career to a stop, quicker than anti-lock brakes
What is it gonna take
for you to accept your fate?
Got you on videotape
gettin gang raped.
Quit invading my space
or come up missin without a trace.
Gotta pick up the pace
to stand a chance in this race.
Your a disgrace
how does it feel to be in last place?
I run the galaxy
you dont wanna battle me
become another casualty
Meet your own mortality
U need batteries
cuz your low on energy
Re- energize
then get pulverized
Got terrified
fuckin petrified
Now you realize I'm on the rise
SUPRISE!!! It is I you despise
Fuck you
suck what between my thighs
Thanx to HHH, for giving me props. He see I got
the top spot
I'm hot
and your not
you suck cock
burn in hell and rot
You can never see my team
not in your wildest dream
I reign supreme
I'm so hot it'll make your blood steam
I'm like a drug you inject in your bloodstream
Faggot you're cookies and cream
I continue 2 spit fire
til the day I retire
its over
your time has expired
You aint shit but a liar
I'll cut your dick off wit some pliars
the pictures I exhibit
are so vivid
way 2 explicit
This is Childs play
I can do this all day
From the bay to L.A.
killin' gays is my forte
I am what I portray
John's gettin fucked wit no foreplay
there's no way u can even see Lay
I molded your style outta clay
so I deserve some credit
even though you’re pathetic
consider yourself indebted
Come correct
and give me my respect
my words connect
to create the illest dialect
here to collect
it when I say "microphone check"
I bet
this last set
got your panties all wet
Got you wonderin 'WHAT COULD BE NEXT'
Dont even flex
cuz the tek
will rip thru your pecs
Stretch your flesh
mangle your chest
Now finally Cena has been put to rest

The crowd is roaring, Phoenix buries his 'opponent' on his ground. With a giant smirk he turns and starts to walk up the ramp. Just as he reaches the entrance to the locker rooms he gives the DX crotch chop "Peace out bitch." Phoenix walks out of the arena, leaving everything behind for the night. He had gotten everything he wanted done, and tomorrow would be a long day.
The next afternoon

Xander was hitting the weights pretty hard, at the moment he was doing some bench pressing. Bret Hart was spotting him and the two were concentrating fairly hard, no one wanted three hundred pounds to land on their chest. After doing three reps of three the young wrestler got up and grabbed a towel to wipe himself down. As Xander was walking over to grab a couple of bottles of water from his bar fridge he grabbed his PDA, within seconds he had his daily calendar up. Bret speaks up, "You have that camera crew coming over for the promo shots in a little while."

"Thanks Bret, I must have forgot to add it into my PDA. How embarrassing would that have been?" Xander walks back into the training area. Xander had rented the top two floors of a building offering studio style apartments, with the top floor being dedicated to his workout area, he even had a ring set up for him to practice in.

Bret nods his consent, the two of them had hit it off quite well and had continued their friendship after Xander had left The Dungeon. In fact it had been The Hitman that had given Xander his wrestling name. It all started after a particularly hard day of training, Xander had been there for about a year. Even Stu was surprised at the speed that Xander had picked up the often complicated maneuvers, he was turning out to be a fine addition to the school. The fact that he got up time and time again, impressed upon Stu just how badly this man wanted to be a serious player. It was after one of these seemingly endless sessions that The Hitman made an off handed comment about how Xander kept rising like a Phoenix, and it got to the point where even the students wouldn't call him Xander anymore.

The speaker for the front door broke Xander out of his stupor, he wasn't here to reminisce about the past
but to build himself a new future. Walking over to the small speaker in the wall he pressed the talk button. "Xander's house of pain, your leisure is our pleasure."

A stammered reply came hesitantly back out of the speaker. "Uhh... sir we were told to set up here for your promo shots... sir?" Xander and Bret looked at each other across the room and start laughing. Xander pushes the button to let the glorified reporters up, so he could do his promos and get on to other things. A few minutes later the camera crew began setting up, while they were doing that Xander and Bret went to change into their wrestling outfits.

Phoenix and The Hitman got in the ring just as the camera crew finished setting up, they had taken the time to warm up before they came out so they were ready. This was a match that both men had been waiting for, Phoenix had been good at the school but he lacked experience. Now with almost a year under his belt Bret wanted to see how much the young man had learned, he was a fast learner and incredibly passionate about wrestling.

The camera crew begins testing angles as the two men size each other up. In some ways this was a test. Phoenix verses the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. As the camera lights pull up, the two lock up, and the battle begins. Bret breaks the lockup with a kick to the chest, grabbing Phoenix's arm and putting him in an arm bar. Phoenix isn't going to be the newbie though, twisting his upper body with its flexible joints and jumping, catching Bret with a double leg sidekick to the chest of the Hitman. Both men are up in a flash and Phoenix sends Bret off the ropes. The Hitman goes willingly enough, only to catch Phoenix with a flying bulldog when the younger man's body just wasn't at the right angle. Again both men are up, but not for long as Phoenix takes the Hitman down with a Russian leg sweep, immediately going for a cross face. Bret rolls away from the lock and gets up, turning into kick to the gut from Phoenix. The bent body of Bret is quickly swept up for a suplex, and after that it's all Phoenix, as the cocky youth locks a Boston Crab onto the wrestling legend. They sit there, as Phoenix begins bragging in a good-natured way for the stunned cameramen.

"Oh now, don't look so shocked. It could happen, right Bret? I'm not putting any pressure on though, wouldn't want to damage the old guy now, would we?"

He throws a wink at the cameraman and turns his head to laugh at Bret and check on him. That's when he feels the whipping sensation of his front falling, and the sudden stop as his chest hits the mat. Without really knowing how it happened, he is now staring at the cameraman from the same angle Bret had been looking at them from just a moment ago...and now it was too late as his legs are jerked up and twisted...

"Yeah, 'cause you wouldn't want to piss the old guy off, right? Come on, say it.... " Bret slowly starts to apply even more pressure to the younger mans legs "You know how to end this 'Nix, the same you had to back in The Dungeon." Bret's almost laughing at the young man, he was a great wrestler, just a little too cocky and an inexperienced. Bret knew he could help with the both whenever he had time to help train the young man. Phoenix knew he was beat, for him it was like he was back in Calgary, let the good time roll.

Phoenix finally gives in "I'm your cream puff." Phoenix whispers in a voice that's barely heard by Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, the only reason he caught it was because it was a familiar phrase coming from Phoenix. Bret exerts just the tiniest fraction of pressure.

"Louder and all of it." Phoenix groans as he now realizes the magnitude of his folly. This whole embarrassing scene would be caught on film. Film that was owned by the SCXW, film that could and chances are would be used against him in future promos. Underneath it all he was grinning though if you're going to job, job to the best baby.

"I'M YOUR CREAM PUFF, BRET IS THE UNDISPUTED WORLD CHAMPION OF KICKING MY ASS." Phoenix stops to take a breath, as he does Bret loosens the hold, now that he knows he's getting what he wants he can afford to be magnanimous in victory. "I SHOULD BE THANKFUL THAT HE WOULD BOW SO LOW AS TO KICK MY ASS, THANK YOU OH MIGHTY BRET FOR SHOWING ME WHAT SWEATY MAT TASTES LIKE." Bret lets Xander up and the two of them laugh, it was an old ritual that had long lost its bitter edge to Xander. He had deserved the humiliation and was willing to take it from the man he would call brother.

The camera crew is still laughing as they began to tear down the equipment. As Phoenix begins to walk down the stairs to take a shower in the master bedroom, he looks back and yells. "Next time, I'll give you the full tour and we can talk about my book." The head camera man nods his assent, they were supposed to do it all today, but the impromptu wrestling match was more then they were expecting. With these people you seldom knew what you were going to get, and this was some of the best material they had captured in a long while.

Thirty minutes or so later.

The two men have warmed down and now meet in Xander's apartment, Xander reaches into the fridge and grabs two beers handing one over to Bret. They walk into the living room and sit down they relax for a few moments. Even though they had only wrestled for a short time for the cameras they had both worked hard. "Thank you Bret I really appreciate you helping with my promo shots, It wasn't something I was looking forward to."

Bret smiles and lifts his beer in the Canadian Salute, he waits for a moment knowing that Xander has something else to say. He had learned to read the young man he considered a party of his family, after all not many grown men would take a beating like that and smile about it afterwards. No, no it took a special love of wrestling to be willing to take yourself down a road you dislike in order to entertain the masses.

"Bret, I wanted to ask you something. I mean it's great just sitting here with you, but I wanted to get your permission first. I understand if you want to talk to the rest of the family first..." Bret cuts Xander off with a look... the look said get on with it or get the beats. "I wanted to dedicate my first match to your father... to Stu." Bret smiled at this, for a second he was afraid that Xander was going to freak out and confess to being a serial killer or something.

"He would have loved that Xander, you know he considered you family until the end. He understood why you couldn't leave Japan, the fucker wouldn't let you out of the iron clad contract, even though everybody knew you wouldn't be wrestling there again. What he didn't understand though was why you never joined the Calgary Stampede Wrestling league." Bret hid his smile, he had an idea why. Chances are it would be similar, if not the same as his own.

"I needed to get out on my own, to prove myself not only to the world but to myself." Xander stands up and walks towards his elevator, Bret follows close behind. The two men get into the private elevator with beers still in hand, for almost a minute there's silence. "I know there wouldn't have been any special treatment, well the same kind we got in 'The Dungeon' if anything. I hope that he knew I appreciated the offer, I just needed to know I could stand on my own two feet."

Meanwhile in the SCXW Arena

Two men, one skinny the other hefty make there way down the SCXW entrance ramp. When they notice there's no music the hefty guy turn to the other and shrugs gesturing at him then the audio booth. The twiggy man starts cursing as he runs over to the audio booth, a few crashes, bangs and lots of cursing can be hears. The he walks back out, hold his hands in the air holding a gigantic bong. Moments later 'Jungle Love' by The Time starts and they continue to the ring. As soon as they get to center ring they skinny man pulls a blunt shaped mic out of his jacket. "My name's Jay and this tubby fuck up in here is Silent Bob, we've been called here to manage our buddy Phoenix. Now, Silent Bob and I are heterosexual life partners, so you're going to see and hear a lot from us. Well your going to s hear a lot from me, this sad fuck over here wouldn't say shit if his mouth was full of it.

Silent Bob shrugs then gestures towards Jay, reaching into his trench coat Bob pulls out a small kits. While he's doing that Jay walks down the steps, reaches under the mat and pulls out a large duffel bag. Within minutes he sets up a table and three chairs in the ring. "Now we're here not just to introduce ourselves to this fine ass fed, but also to address Phoenix's upcoming match. We have to say he's pumped, he's been out of action for a while and he's ready to kick some ass and takes some names. We had planned on having a small demonstration on how the match would go. Unfortunately the monkey got the two midgets drunk. So instead I'll say this, Phoenix is going to roll those two chumps like my fat friend rolls this spliff."

Silent Bob quickly rolls a fatty in record time, dampens it then lights it up. "Now don't get me wrong here, I'm sure what's his name and the other guy are good wrestlers. They might put up some resistance, might like the mighty pot plant you to shall fall to destructive power of the Phoenix. I don't want to piss anyone one off on our first day here." Jay stops his Dadaist like promo to take a hoot. "Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...'"

Silent Bob shakes his head and starts walking out of the ring taking the blunt with him, Jay waggles his eyebrows and packs a bowl. "Listen up just a quick recap for all y'all, I'm high Silent Bob loves the cock and Phoenix will win."

Jay runs to catch up to Silent Bob, all in all the two high boys felt this had gone fairly well. On their way to Phoenix’s private locker room they saw a closet they just knew needed to be turned into a smoke hut. After a few minutes the closet is filled with the thick smoke of weed, and the smell is filtering out. They can hear heavy footsteps walk by, the stop almost right in front of the closet.

Jay panics and accidently opens the door, falling out landing at the feet of HHH "Get the fuck off me you tubby bitch!" Jay screams as he pushes Silent Bob off of him.

The two get up brushing themselves off and Jay looks at Triple H and points towards the legend "Holy tap dancing Christ! It's the Game! Hey man, you're awesome! And I love that whole game gimmick you got going man. I was plugging this bitch one night and I was smacking her ass and yelling "I am the Game, I am the Game!' And that bitch was loooooving it"

Triple H shakes his head with his hand on his forehead and walks away. He continues down to the backstage area and gets up on the ramp, behind the curtain and signals for the sound tech to hit his music

The End?

You have reached the end of "Phoenix Burning" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 10 Nov 03.

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