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Summary: Xander loses his memory and Buffy decides it's the perfect time to cut him out of the slaying. What he doesn't remember he can't miss and by the time his memory returns it'll be a done deal, right?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered(Current Donor)dogbertcarrollFR18819,3042516069,56828 May 1013 Oct 14No

Nameless chapter!

Jack picked a comfy looking piece of floor and sprawled out on it, staring blankly at the ceiling of the lobby.

Randy and Lydia walked over to see what was up and why he had picked the floor for a nap.

"Hi, girls," he said, tiredly staring up at them.

"Hi, Jack," they chorused.

"If you two wore dresses I'd have a much better view," he remarked, getting a blush from the two and a smile from Randy.

"And what's got you looking so worn out?" Randy asked.

"Paperwork! Endless reams of paperwork," he groaned. "Plus the floor just looked so comfy."

The two girls exchanged grins before transforming into their slightly reptilian, curvier forms and laying down beside him.

"This is comfy," Lydia agreed, settling into his left side.

"Who cleaned the chandelier?" Randy asked, staring upwards.

The black robed, young wizard made an appearance before anyone could answer, prompting the two girls to quickly revert to their human forms and made excuses to split before he could ask any embarrassing questions. "Veela?" he asked Jack.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Veela?"

"A race of near humans that project an aura of sex, are partial to fire, and are kinda birdlike," he finished.

"Nope," Jack replied. "Just people, and like most races, their name for themselves is people. Most species descriptions are given by outsiders and are rarely flattering. Imagine what outsiders would call your people."

"Asshole," the wizard decided. "Or at least that's what I'd call 'em."

"Also a traditional description for humans," Jack agreed.

"I've settled into room thirteen, but I have a small problem," he admitted.

"Yes?"

"I accidentally gave the building a heart."

Jack blinked a couple of times and resumed staring at the ceiling. "I think I'm going to need a bit more information."

"I had a hearthstone with me, which is what my people use to give...sentience to a place."

"Why in the world would you want to do that?" Jack demanded.

"I...I don't know," he admitted. "It's just something us assholes do. Anyway I was going through my stuff and set it down for a moment and the building swallowed it."

"Does it let the building hide exits and move things around?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," the wizard agreed.

"The building already did that, or maybe it was the tentacled horror," Jack said thoughtfully.

"So we can just ignore it?"

"Until it blows up in our face," Jack replied cheerfully.

"Works for me," the young wizard said relieved.

"You any good at fixing things?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Can I use magic?"

"As long as it doesn't break if the magic stops."

"Then yes, I can fix things."

"Want a job as the hotel handyman?" Jack asked.

"Sure. What's it pay?"

"No idea," Jack replied. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

"You're opening this place on a whim?" the wizard asked, surprised.

"That and or a detective agency," he agreed. "Possibly a bar as well."

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Not a clue," Jack assured him. "Hell, I don't even know your name."

"Haven't thought up a good one yet," the wizard admitted.

"The guy I hired to make IDs gave me mine, Jack Daniels."

"Actually, I could use a little help in that area myself," the wizard admitted. "Does he charge a lot?"

"Bring a pocketful of gold and you should be fine," Jack said before giving him the address.

"Thanks," the young wizard said before vanishing out the door.

Seeing that the wizard had left, the two girls quickly resumed their positions.

"Did he notice?" Lydia asked nervously.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal. He's a magic user, remember?"

"Yeah, but we're still laying low because the tribe scattered for a reason, even if it wasn't shared with us," Randy pointed out.

"So without the dubious protection of Huggybear, we still have to hide what we are," Lydia explained.

"I'll make sure our nameless wizard handyman knows," Jack promised them.

"Nameless?" Lydia asked curiously.

"He's gone to get an ID at the same place we did."

"We've become the supernatural equivalent of the witness protection program," Randy said, amused.

"And he accidentally brought the hotel to life," Jack added.

"What does that mean?" Lydia asked.

"Yeah, is it going to go for a walk, crave human flesh, get a crush on the local shopping mall, or what?" Randy questioned.

"No idea, and he wasn't sure either," Jack replied. "He didn't seem concerned, so it's probably none of those though."

0o0o0o0o0

Holland Manners looked up from the folder he was perusing as his secretary entered the office.

"The nexus is active," she said and waited.

He nodded to himself. "The seers saw nothing, I assume, or we would have been notified. Have Lindsey investigate matters and bring me all the files on the Shanshu prophecy."

"Yes, sir," she said, turning and leaving to carry out his orders.

"Aah, they don't make 'em like her anymore," Holland said admiringly. "Well, not since Frankenstein was bought out, at any rate."

AN: Typing by Ordieth!




Body Doubles? Or 20 love all!


Harry couldn't believe it. After everything he'd done, the wizarding world was rewarding him by kicking him out! His wand had been snapped (although he had been allowed to keep the pieces) and he had been shoved out of the front Gates of Hogwarts.

Harry sighed and grabbed ahold of one end of his trunk and began walking away. He'd finished charming the corners to work as wheels just last week fortunately or he'd have a much tougher time on the Walk of Shame. Technically, he wasn't being kicked out of the wizarding world, he was just being kicked out of Hogwarts and he could legally buy another wand, but it was the principle of the thing!

Apparently someone using polyjuice had knocked up a good chunk of the graduating class and had even nailed some of the younger years. How did Harry know they were using Polyjuice? Simple, they'd used his bloody body to do it!

He wasn't even given a chance to defend himself, he'd been read the charges and then stunned from behind by a couple of angry fathers. Well, if by a couple you mean six. He'd been convicted by the school board while he was unconscious and awoke to find himself being shunned by everyone and allowed only two hours to pack and get out.

Well, at least he'd been able to pull a couple of last-minute stunts before he left. Really, giving him two hours to pack? All he had was a trunk with everything in it but the stuff he was wearing. A quick trip to the room of requirements and a carefully worded request...

Harry grinned. Sure he'd had to volunteer to haul off all of the assorted crap that was cluttering the room, so Hogwarts could think clearly again and awaken the founders' avatars, but it was worth it!

Besides, some of that stuff was damn valuable, like the second heartstone that the third headmaster had snuck into the castle's heart to suppress its sentience. Apparently hundreds of years ago a headmaster had felt superfluous between the castle and the Founders' avatars running the place. He'd thought that the job would allow him to influence the younger generations and gain power, but instead he found out that his job was just to be a figurehead while the castle and the avatars insured the students were trained without undue influence from anyone.

He'd used the limited authority as headmaster to look through the maintenance cycles the castle had scheduled and found that the heartstone was accessible, but the spells the founders had laid on that room were so strong that nothing could touch it. In fact the only hole in the spells was to allow a heartstone in, in the first place.

Stripping naked in the middle of the hall, leaving his wand on top of his clothes, the headmaster carried a second heartstone into the core and found it worked better than planned. The second stone interfering with the first effectively lobotomized the castle, who now acted like a concussed puppy, eager to please, but not too bright.

Through the centuries, most of the details about Hogwarts' powers faded into myth as headmaster after headmaster failed to pass on key knowledge about the school and even actively hid it, not trusting others with the power of the position.

Hogwarts' core became cluttered in junk, reducing it even further over time to the twitching glittering wreck it was today...until Harry Potter cleared the clutter from its brain and restored its full intelligence.



The doors to the great hall slammed shut with a bang, as everyone sat down to eat, congratulating themselves on getting rid of the ‘Great Despoiler’ Harry Potter. Even the parents of the pregnant girls had stayed for the celebration.

The headmistress gasped as she felt the wards being torn from her control. The staff turned to her worriedly, after all it wasn't that long ago they were being attacked by Voldemort and his Death Eaters and the only person to defeat him had just been expelled for moral impropriety.

"I can't feel the wards!" Headmistress McGonagall whispered, trying not to alarm the students.

The wall near the doors to the great hall warped and twisted until a man made of stone stood there looking at them with a fair bit of disgust.
"Godric Gryffindor at your service," he introduced himself formally, looking none too pleased to be there. "And I see that my house has fallen far in mine absence. To convict one of your own who was not even given a chance to defend himself."

"Oh no!" McGonagall shouted out. "You'll not lay that sort of tripe on my doorstep; we viewed pensive memories to insure he was guilty. As sad as I am to say it, the boy is guilty and having him present would just have given people more chances to assault him."

"Tsk, tsk," came a voice from the wall behind the Slytherin table as the wall disgorged its own stone man. "My house has fallen even farther than yours Godric, as the head of my house seems to be incapable of seeing through the simple ruse that was used to convict the man!"

There were screams from several of the tables when he introduced himself as Salazar Slytherin.

He snorted in disgust. "Please, Helga was more likely to support or become a Dark Lord than I was."

"Aye," came a feminine voice from behind the puffs rippled, birthing a female figure far closer to Bulstrode than Pomfrey. "For I know that sometimes the people must rise up and smite those that rule them, lest they forget that the only reason they live in luxury is because of the hundreds that toil in the dirt and if the leader of the people must be labeled a lord for those ruling to treat with and dark for the actions needed to free the people ruled unjustly, then so be it!"

Half a dozen puffs passed out as her eyes roamed over the table coldly, glaring at the soft flabby bodies in her sight. "And let's not talk about whose house has fallen the farthest, because if mine hasn't it's only because they bounced on hitting bottom."

The stone figure that stepped from the wall behind the Ravenclaw table bore more than a faint resemblance to Luna Lovegood. "I think we all have reasons to be disappointed Helga. My house has rejected the only free thinker in it, who also happens to be my heir and she did defend him before she was silenced by a bushy haired busybody."

Slytherin raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure her claims that, if Harry was a man-ho he would've knocked boots with her first, were all that effective, even if the five feet of parchment she brought with her proved it mathematically. Still, I will admit to being impressed with her loyalty and intelligence."

"Harry Potter was just a half-blooded orphan who got lucky," Draco Malfoy said. "Why would you care what happened to him?"

Slytherin rolled his eyes. "He should have been in my house, he was powerful and sought to shape the world into a better place, even if he had to get his hands dirty to do it. He's also my heir."

There were cries of outrage from multiple directions before he spoke up again, "Shut it! Tom Riddle was my heir until his death. Harry became my heir by right of conquest when he offed the nutter. If you want to know who he was the heir for before that, look to Godric."

"Aye." Godric nodded. "Not a bad heir, daily shrivings and weekly fastings would have been as nothing to him. It's just a shame that he fell in with a bad crowd, leading him into shirking duty, even if he did not know it, for fanciful pursuits like flying and temptations with gluttonous, and lustful behavior that, thank the Lord, he shunned. Even denied the light of our Lord God, he strived to do right. I pray for the sake of his soul that he finds his way to the church soon."

"Well, enough of this dilly dallying. Everyone watch the ceiling, it can not only show the sky, but it can replay things that have happened inside the wards. Now won't this be fun?" Ravenclaw said cheerfully, causing a dozen boys Malfoy had supplied with hair samples and Polyjuice to squirm.

AN: Typing by Lucilla!

AN2:Woot, I escaped typing once more!
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