Title: Anarchy’s Glee
Disclaimer: Cutter owns all things Anarchy, Murphy owns all things Glee.
Spoilers: Set in the first half of season one for both series.
Summary: The life and times of a Glee club in Charming, CA.
A/N: It gets a bit - well, squicky in this chapter. Just slightly. Anarchy’s Glee
“You’re talking about the S-s-sons
, Kurt. Even the cops are on their p-p-payroll,” Tina Cohen-Chang stammered out.
“Precisely. And it’s not bribing them, technically,” Kurt steepled his fingers. “It’s more of an advisory position, really.”
“I’m not seeing how this will benefit the Glee club,” Artie frowned.
“We need more members or Coach Sylvester is going to wipe us out,” Mercedes flattened her hands on the desk. “Mr. Shuester seems like he’s really pulling for us, but he’s not gonna be enough incentive for people to join up. Kurt’s position with the club, it’s the only card we’ve got left to play.”
“I don’t know,” Tina shared a look with Artie. But Mercedes and Kurt had already thought that the two freshmen would be leery about bringing the Sons into this.
“Everyone already knows that the Sons won’t take on anyone until they’re at least legal to cover the club’s back,” Mercedes continued on as if Tina hadn’t even spoken. “We’re not offering anyone a solid ‘in’. We’re just offering good, solid advice to potential future candidates to the club.”
“Speaking of the club, I promised Bobby Elvis I’d help him with a costume issue,” Kurt sighed, glancing at his phone. He grabbed his bag and pushed himself off the desk he was sitting on.
“Wait, should we tell Mr. Shue or Rachel?”
“No!” Mercedes and Kurt yelled at the same time.
“Rachel - she wouldn’t understand about us bringing the club into it,” Kurt’s hands tightened on his bag. “And Mr. Shue’s got history
with the club.”
“He does?” Mercedes’ head snapped toward him.
“He went to school with Jax,” Kurt’s eyes skirted away. “I may or may not have obsessively facebook-stalked him when I found out he was coming back to Charming and taking over the glee club. Plus, I went through the back copies of the yearbook. Jax and Opie were a year under him.”
“Oh, then he would definitely
not approve,” Mercedes turned back to the other two. “Now, how do we do this?”
Quinn Fabray did a very, very bad thing. Actually, a lot of them and with alarming frequency. Especially when arguments at home were followed by wine cooler chasers. Her head was spinning as she ducked into the quiet, dark and empty auditorium. At least, she’d thought it was empty. She half listened to whatever the glee rejects were carrying on about, but her head jerked up when they started talking about the Sons. Her hands started shaking when Kurt revealed he had an inside track with them.
She waited until the other three had left, still completely undecided about what to do to boost recruitment other than using Kurt’s knowledge of the bikers to sway members to them. He started to walk up the stairs and had just passed her when she bolted upright, grabbing his arm.
“What the - Quinn? Were you spying on us for Coach Sylvester?” Kurt blurted out, tugging his arm away.
“Uh, yeah. Totally what I was doing,” Quinn cleared her throat. But she must of leaned into the scant light, because his eyes narrowed as he took the full picture of her in.
“No, you weren’t. Why are you hiding out in the dark by yourself looking like death?”
“Never mind what I’m doing. What are you doing - recruiting for the biker gang that will never take you on?” She sneered back at him.
“Oh, so that wasn’t you I saw sneaking out of the clubhouse a few months back? Which one kicked you out of his bed for the walk of shame?” Kurt crossed his arms over his chest as her face flushed. Damn.
“You can’t tell anyone you saw me there, Hummel,” Quinn’s eyes widened. “Not ever.
“Oh, what stupid thing did you do?”
Out of all the Sons names to pull out, Tig had been far, far down his list. Kurt’s knees nearly gave out as the word popped out of her mouth.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“Clearly, I wasn’t.”
“He could go to jail if anyone finds out - if your parents find out, he will definitely
go to jail. Please tell me it doesn’t get any worse,” Kurt closed his eyes. He was envisioning threesomes or lines of coke being done off her stomach or Russian roulette.
“Lines of coke while going down on two guys playing with guns isn’t looking so bad right now,” Kurt did sink down onto the step next to her seat then. “Honestly, what am I supposed to do with this information, Quinn?”
“I can’t get rid of the baby,” Quinn’s hand covered her stomach and Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Not only because I don’t believe in it, but it’s too late. I can’t
“I get the weird appeal of Tig, honest to god, more than I care to explain. But seriously, how drunk or high were the two of you that he didn’t even figure out you were underage or virginal?” Kurt shook his head.
“I - I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Quinn’s head lowered. Daddy issues. Only thing that it could possibly be. “I have a favor to ask you.”
“Seriously? You’re asking me for a favor?” It just kept getting better and better. “Go ahead, shoot.”
“I need you to tell Tig.”
“You just told me to not
“Except for him!”
“It’s gonna cost you,” Kurt’s eyes narrowed.
“We’re low on recruitment for glee club. I’m thinking three Cheerios might just cover this.”
“Coach Sylvester will kill me.”
“Tig might kill me, or at the very list bruise me when I drop this bomb. My checking, you definitely owe me big time.”
“Fine!” Quinn gritted, grabbing her bag and pushing up from the seat.
“And,” Kurt held his hands up. “You don’t let her sabotage us through said Cheerios.”
“It’s a deal,” Quinn jerked her hand out. So that was what it was like to make a deal with the devil.
Bobby Elvis was running the sewing machine when Kurt finally showed up. Brows shot up over the older man’s glasses as he glanced at the clock.
“Mr. Punctuality, running late. I’m gonna have to mark it on the calendar.”
“Sorry, I got distracted. Oddly enough, by a cheerleader.”
“Unfortunately. Is, um, Tig around anywhere?”
“Tig and cheerleaders in the same breath. I’m not thinking that’s a good thing.”
“Theoretically, the problem with the cheerleader would be Tig’s.”
“Son of a bitch,” Bobby snapped the sewing machine off and pushed away from it. “All right, songbird, spill it.”
Tig’s head dropped into his hands. He could not fucking believe that sweet butt had been a baby. Clay, Bobby and Kurt were all crowded around him, two glaring and the kid looking mighty uncomfortable.
“Statutory rape, Tig. Are you fucking kidding me?” Clay shook his head.
“Of an upstanding citizen of Charming‘s kid. They’ll throw the book, the gavel, the goddamn jury box at you. You know Russell Fabray is itching to ram the Sons. You know that and you pick the cherry off the stem of his baby girl?” Bobby looked just as disgusted with him as he felt. Which was saying a whole hell of a lot.
“You think he’s just gonna let this slide? Three months, soon she’ll start showing. You think she’s not gonna squeal to Daddy about what the big, bad biker did to her?”
“She might actually not.”
The three Sons heads snapped around to Kurt, who’d pretty much stayed quiet after he’d dropped the bomb. He fidgeted with his damn man-purse and licked his lips.
“Mr. Fabray and Quinn - well, let’s just say there are definite
daddy issues there, and Quinn begged me not to tell anyone but you, Tig. But, seeing as you get all squirrelly and weird around me, I knew I had to tell someone else. I figured Bobby Elvis would just go from there, but..”
“Where’re you going with this, kid?” Clay barked.
“Quinn overheard me and my friends in the glee club talking about our low recruitment. I might have blackmailed her and two of her cheerleader friends into joining our club in payment for me telling Tig.”
“Good thinking,” Bobby gave him a small smile, but honestly, Tig and Clay were both lost on where he was going.
“See, we need twelve members and now we’re up to eight. We still need more boys, and Quinn overheard us talking about me usingmyknowledgeoftheclubtogetboystojoin.”
“You were gonna promise them spots in the club?” Clay’s jaw dropped at the audacity.
“No! God, no! I was just going to give them advice
on what the club was looking for in new recruits. No guarantees on anything
because God knows I can’t back that up.”
“Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” Bobby cocked his head at the boy.
“There are three guys that I know really look up to the Sons. I could feel them out, bring up the idea of maybe doing the club a favor. But I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Kurt finished out with a rush.
“They under 16?” Clay asked.
“Two are. I think one just turned 17.”
“What’s he talkin’ about?” Tig frowned at Clay and Bobby, who were obviously getting whatever the hell the kid was going on about.
“Kids being kids is a hell of a lot different than an old man fucking a teenager when he should damn well know better. And if that lucky boy just lands a job at the shop along with a mentorship with dear old Tig here, well, isn’t that something?”
“You think you can get a kid to say the baby is his?” Tig looked full-on at the kid for the first time.
“If it’s okay that I blatantly use my connections to Samcro to beef up recruitment for the glee club? I will do my damnedest to do so,” Kurt said without blinking once.
“Damn. You are one sneaky little son of bitch,” Bobby slapped a hand to the kid’s back.
“I learned from the best.”