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Who Knew

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Summary: Ok, this isn't meant to be taken seriously at all... pure comedy inside this fic... religion is mocked... remember though not a seious fic... read it I think it's funny

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > GeneralCanadianPhoenixFR1342,904021,23229 Nov 0329 Nov 03Yes

Chapter Three

AN : Ok, warning here if you can’t take me poking fun at religion in general and a couple of specific denominations do not read. This whole fic isn’t meant to be taken seriously… this chapter in particular. Once again I’m sorry.

Gods POV

It’s strange you think you have the universe figured out, then you create it. I mean everything was going great… there I was, wherever I was and my Angels. Everything was good and so was I, then I had to go and make stuff. Well that just threw everyone for a loop. Lucifer’s all like… I want that throne… mine, mine, and mine.

You know that really set off the whole kill everything that doesn’t agree with me thing. I mean even I was getting sick of that. Well, then as everyone knows I got laid and that changed everything. It just proves that some good sex cures almost everything. Well, so here we go once again I thought I had everything figured out.

In a few centuries I would lay the smacketh down once more, smiteth the wicked and hug the righteous. You know all that hippy crap that bores the Baptists, which reminds me maybe they should get laid. Honestly… they bore me sooo much it isn’t funny. Even I fall asleep during a Baptist service.

Meh, forget them, what really throws me for a loop is her obsession with this Xander guy. Not that I blame her, I just feel left out is all. Since before time I’ve been her obsession and now she turns her attention to Xander. It’s enough to make me take my female form and she what the big deal is.

Sure, I’ve never seen humility like that in over two thousand years, few humans impress me and to tell you the truth he is one of them. This is the guy that ended the war between heaven and hell, both with love and at the end of the sword. I’m still jealous though, what if I wanted her or him.

Grrr makes God wants to flood something… stupid aliens you go squash now. Much better now back to the issues here, Lucifer left and joined him. Then she came back, humble beyond anything I’ve ever seen with her and begged my forgiveness. She looked so cute in the catholic school girl outfit how could I say no? I’m a forgiving God here, so after a brief conference between the trinity we decided to forgive and forget.

Oh, well maybe it’s time for me to move on * sigh * it could have been good. The three of us, it would’ve been the best. Did I mention the guys hung? I mean honestly it’s not genitalia at that point it’s a bludgeoning weapon. One he uses with great proficiency, ok fine I’m not past it yet, I mean it’s been over two thousand years and the things that guys does with his tongue * drool *

That’s it I need some Xander lovin’, I’m taking that female form out of the ol’ God closet putting it on and going finding them. Find them and make a Xander filled sandwich. The universe can run itself for a while… I need to get some.


A few days later…

Wow, that was better then advertised…

The End

You have reached the end of "Who Knew". This story is complete.

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