Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I don't want it. Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon.
When Bella first thought about life as a vampire, a cold one, she thought it would be... magical. She wouldn't have to worry about such mundane things as family, death, or even taxes. She would have Edward to have and to hold for eternity. She even, through some trick of fate, gave birth to a beautiful, powerful, daughter who was going to unite the Cullens and the Quileute!
"Oh, shit." Bella hissed as she missed the step and ended up slamming her near-granite hard, sparkly, head through the plaster wall and getting dust all over her hair.
"Isabella!" Her mother-in-law clucked her tongue in disappointment. Bella winced. Edward had told her how individual traits were enhanced when one became a vampire. Edward's intuition on reading people became full on telepathy. The Cullens had hoped whatever trait it was that allowed her to block the little extras of vampires would increase and strengthen their coven.
So far, she had wrecked one car, the banister (twice!), five shelves, three tables, and a chair in one week alone.
Carlisle had recently suggested that she and Edward move out to the recently reinforced and remolded pool-house.
Blinking back diamond like tears, Bella muttered under her breath. Of all the traits that could have been magnified...
"Oh. My. God." Buffy breathed, staring at the pile of glitter that had just exploded in Dawn's face. "This was supposed to be a friendly meeting!"
"She just, she just threw herself at my stake! You saw, right? She just..." Dawn gestured helplessly, then picked at her glitter covered shirt. "Oh. Crap. This is worse than regular dust. I'm going to be picking sparkles out of my clothes for weeks
"On the bright side," Spike grinned while blowing a smoke ring. "The Volturi will probably send you a fruit basket."