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Silly Little Android Man

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This story is No. 4 in the series "angeluscado's 2011 Wish List Fic Compilation". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Data accidentally beams into the evidence storage locker at NCIS and is discovered by Abby. Star Trek:TNG/NCIS

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
NCIS > General
Star Trek > Star Trek - The Next Generation
angeluscadoFR711,785011,77830 Jun 1230 Jun 12Yes
Title: Silly Little Android Man
Prompter: CrystalBase
Fandom: Star Trek: TNG/NCIS
Characters: Data/Abby
Prompt: Data is going to be beamed down as part of an away mission, but due to a severe transporter malfunction, he ends up being beamed into Abby Sciuto's Lab. Being both a geek and a punk/gothic, she is immediately enamored with the machine, not sure if it's a practical joke by Probey or if it's legitimate.
Disclaimer: The characters in this piece of fiction belong to people who are not me. No money is being made.
Notes: This one was definitely an interesting piece to write. Lots of fun. Hope the rest of you enjoy it.

It was supposed to be a routine survey mission to the surface of the M-class planet they had discovered. Data had taken the transporter hundreds, nay, thousands of times, and he had never ended up so unbelievably far from his destination before.

At least, until now.

He had landed in what appeared to be a large, mostly empty storage room. He took out his tricorder, only to find that it was malfunctioning.

“Odd,” Data said, furrowing his brow as he put his tricorder away. He was about to go and find someone to ask about where he was when someone found him.

She was a tall woman, made even taller by the high boots she was wearing. She had a white coat on over her plaid skirt, black t-shirt and tights. She looked at him curiously.

“Are you the new evidence tech?” she asked. She looked him up and down before she smiled a little. “Wow, and I thought they were stretching the weird factor when they hired me.”

“No,” Data replied. “I am Data. Can you tell me where I am?”

“You don’t know where you are?” the girl asked. “How did you get in here?”

“I was beamed here from the transporter on my ship,” Data replied. The woman rolled her eyes.

“Did McGee put you up to this?” the woman asked. “I swear to God, he’s going way overboard. Just because I changed his background to My Little Pony. I can’t imagine what he’d do if I’d done something actually serious.”

“I don’t know this McGee person you refer to,” Data said, cocking his head to the side.

“Tony, then,” the woman said. “I can’t remember the last time I really got him. Maybe he’s been biding his time.”

“I don’t know this Tony, either,” Data said. “Would you please tell me your name?”

“Abby,” the woman, Abby, replied. “Who are you?”

“I am Lieutenant Commander Data of the star ship Enterprise,” Data replied.

“No, I mean your real name,” Abby said, crossing her arms. “Not your character name or whatever. What’s with all the makeup, anway? And that uniform?”

“I am not wearing makeup. This is how I always look,” Data replied. “I am an android.”

“Androids aren’t real,” Abby said with a snort. “At least, not ones that look completely human.”

“What year is this?” Data asked. “What planet is this?”

“2005 and you’re on Earth,” Abby replied. “How can you just not know what year it is, or what planet you’re on?”

“That would explain a lot,” Data replied. “I am from the future.”

Abby blinked at him, not really sure what to say about that. She tried to open her mouth to say something intellectual or even just normal, but she started giggling. Her giggles started out small but they were soon loud and a little hysterical.

“I fail to see what is so amusing,” Data said, cocking his head to the side in curiosity.

“Think about it from my perspective,” Abby said, gaining most control over her giggles. “I came down her to get some samples from a piece of evidence on our most recent case, and I end up talking to someone who claims to be an android from the future. The fact that I’m getting close to believing you will really make Gibbs thing I’ve cracked.”

“Who is Gibbs?” Data asked.

“He’s my boss,” Abby replied. “Well, kind of. The Director is my actual boss, and I work with other teams but I do most of my work for Gibbs and his team. They’re the big crime solving team and everything.”

“What is it you do here?” Data asked.

“We’re NCIS,” Abby replied.

“I am unfamiliar with the term,” Data said. “Will you please explain it to me?”

“It stands for Naval Criminal Investigation Service,” Abby replied. She looked around, as if just realizing where they were. She smiled sheepishly. “We should probably head back to my lab. It’ll make it easier for me to talk being more comfortable and all.”

“I do not want to make you uncomfortable,” Data said. “Please, lead the way to your lab.”


“So, you’re really from the future?” Abby asked.


“And you really came down from a space ship?”


“And you’ve been all over the galaxy meeting different races and discovering new planets?”

“It’s the Starfleet mission,” Data replied.

They had been talking for nearly two hours while Abby worked. There wasn’t much else she could do until Major Mass Spec did his job, so she was now sitting on her sofa, cross-legged and facing Data. Data was sitting on the edge of his seat, his back straight, but he had tilted his body so that he was facing Abby.

“Can you do that thing with your head again?” Abby asked. If he had been human, Data would have probably been exasperated with her by now. As it was, he just pressed something behind his ear and his scalp lifted off, revealing his positronic brain. Abby stared at it, enamoured with the flashing lights. “Wicked.”

“May I please put my scalp back on?” Data asked. “I do not think Geordie would be too pleased if I came back with damage to my positronic brain.”

“Who’s Geordie?” Abby asked.

“Geordie is Lieutenant Commander Geordie Laforge, head of engineering on the Enterprise,” Data replied.

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?” Abby asked. “I mean, doesn’t this make a time paradox or something, considering that we’re in the past and you’re from the future and I’m not supposed to know about this stuff? Like, at all?”

“I did not think of that,” Data said.

“What are you going to do now?” Abby asked. “I mean, you’re hundreds of years away from home and I don’t think the physics research is in any way close to finding a way of getting you back to your own time.”

“I am an android,” Data replied. “I cannot die. I can wait until my time comes again.”

“But won’t you miss your friends?” Abby asked.

“I am an android,” Data said. “I cannot feel emotions.”

“None at all?” Abby asked.

“No,” Data replied. “It is my goal to become more human, but human emotions have always eluded me.”

“Can’t someone write a program to make you feel emotions?” Abby asked. “I mean, I’m sure it would be possible somewhere along the line.”

“I am confident that my observations of human behaviour will suffice in understanding it,” Data replied.

“I don’t think I’d be able to live without human emotions,” Abby said.

“I do not think I would be able to live with them,” Data said. “I have seen the strife that human emotions. That is enough for me.”

“So, you’re perfectly content with observing things, but not experiencing them yourself?” Abby asked. Data nodded. “Huh. When I was doing research for my thesis papers, I always found I got the best results when I did things myself. Well, I guess if you think observing will work, more power to you.”

Data was about to say something else when there was a blue shimmer in the corner of the room. Abby tensed, wondering what it was, but Data seemed to be more relaxed than ever before.

Abby watched as three distinct shimmers began forming three distinct shapes, until finally three people, two men and a woman, were standing in her lab.

“What the hell was that?” Abby exclaimed, eyes widening as the people materialized in te middle of her lab. “Data, what’s going on?”

“They’re crew members from the Enterprise,” Data replied. “Although I am curious as to how they got here. If what you say is true, we are nearly three hundred years in the past.”

“You were transported through an anomaly that interfered with the transporter beam,” the black man with the visor across his eyes said.

“Doesn’t that mean you’re stuck here too?” Abby asked. The three newcomers turned their attention to her. “Uh, hi. I’m Abby. I’ve been taking care of Data here.”

“Abby, this is Geordie Laforge, Commander William Riker and Counsellor Deanna Troi,” Data replied. He turned his attention to his fello crew members. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“We found a way to transport through the anomaly. O’Brien is at the ready to beam us back as soon as we give the word,” Riker replied. “We don’t have much time.”

“Well, it looks like you’re going to get home,” Abby said with a shrug. “Yay.”

“Are you upset that I’m leaving?” Data asked. There was no incredulity or mocking in his voice, just curiosity.

“No,” Abby replied. The other humans in the room could tell that she was more than a little upset.

“Fascinating,” Data said. “Would you... feel better... if you could give me a hug?”

“Huh?” Abby asked.

“In my observations of human behaviour, I have seen that physical comfort often makes people feel better,” Data replied. “If you wish, you may hug me.”

Abby didn’t need any more invitation before she launched herself at Data, wrapping her arms around the android. Data tentatively hugged her back, gingerly wrapping his arms around her. They didn’t let go until Riker discreetly coughed to get their attention.

“Window’s closing, Data,” he said. “We’d better get a move on.”

“I’ll never forget you, my silly little android man,” Abby said as she let him go.

“I will think of you often, Abby,” Data said as he got up from his seat. “Thank you for spending time with me.”

Abby couldn’t bring herself to say anything as she waved good-bye to the strange visitors who had occupied her lab for a brief period of time. Data smiled at her as he waved back as they started to shimmer blue. Before long, there was no trace of the Enterprise crew members in her lab.

“Hey Abs, I thought I heard you talking to someone,” McGee said as he entered the lab. He looked at Abby, seated on her couch and obviously upset. “Hey, is anything wrong?”

“No, I’m fine,” Abby replied, wiping at her eyes. The only thing she wanted right now was to be left alone, but with a case to work that wasn’t going to happen. “What do you need, McGee?”

As McGee started talking about what they had discovered and how it could connect with the evidence already collected, Abby’s mind went to the android, no, man, she had been speaking with for the past few hours.

She really wasn’t going to forget her silly little android man.

The End

You have reached the end of "Silly Little Android Man". This story is complete.

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