Joss owns Buffy. Marvel owns the Avengers. (They let Joss play with them.) I own nothing.
"So, I was wondering," Tony began. "Think you might want to try dating anytime this decade?"
Steve didn't quite glare at him, but Tony knew he was already not happy with this turn of conversation. He was even less happy that Clint and Bruce had both just perked up, a sure sign they'd tuned into the conversation.
"It doesn't really seem like a good idea, Tony. Thanks anyway."
"Aw, c'mon!" Tony protested. "It's a great idea. I thought of it myself!"
"It's a terrible idea," Steve shot back. "I mean, nevermind the whole 'out of the world for sixty-odd years' thing that leaves girls these days feeling like they're taking to their grandfather, do you know how careful I have to be around normal people? If I dont pay attention, I can hurt someone!"
"Easy, Capsicle," Tony said, holding up his hands in a 'whoa, slow it down' gesture. "I know all that. But I also know this girl I think is perfect for you. Pretty sure you don't have to worry about hurting her. Physically, at least. If you continue to do this whole moody hermit thing while you're dating her, I can't promise you won't hurt her feelings."
Clint and Bruce had been edging closer as they spoke, and Steve had a feeling they were equal parts curious and entertained. He wouldn't put it past them to be taking bets on this.
"One date," Tony said, with the air of a man being eminently reasonable. "What do you say?"
Steve sighed. He still thought it was a bad idea. Unfortunately, Tony Stark didn't, and Tony had an irritating habit of not letting things go. It was like dealing with an annoying puppy- he'd just keep yapping at you until he wore you down and you did what he wanted so he'd shut up.
"Fine," he ground out. "On one condition- you then leave me alone about dating."
"Excellent," Tony grinned. "Now all I have to do is talk her into it. Any chance I can borrow that shield of yours? She's a little... forceful with her opinions. To me, anyway."
He whistled a merry tune as he headed off. Clint fell into step with him as he went.
"I couldn't help overhearing."
"Yes, you could. You just didn't want to," Tony pointed out.
"Fine, whatever," Clint agreed. It was easier than arguing. "I'm pretty sure I know who you have in mind. But didn't Buffy say if you ever tried to get her to go on a date again, she'd break both your arms?"
"She said that about me trying to get her to go on a date with me
," Tony pointed out. "But I'm now happily off the market. She didn't say anything about setting her up with someone else."
Clint shook his head as Tony stepped into the elevator.
"There are times I think that man is suicidal," he muttered. "Hey, Bruce? Would you mind tracking Tony? I have a feeling we might need to go pick up what's left of him in a little while."