The Avengers are owned by Marvel and Stan Lee. I write for fun, not for profit.Summary:
Darcy pranks Thor. Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha all help in their own way. Warning:
Slight crack.A/N 1:
Completely the fault of LadyBold and perfectlyorganizedmess. We had a girls night and someone made a comment and then they refused to stop bugging me until I'd written this out. Also, LadyBold was sick so I figured this would cheer her up. :)P/N 2:
I'm not dead or dying, I promise! If you'd like an update on my wrist and current projects, I have it all up on my profile. :)
“Darcy's giggling, that can't be good,” Clint murmured to himself as he saw the aforementioned brunette run past him towards her room, what looked like packing tape dispenser in one hand, the other covering her own mouth to muffle her laughter. He glanced at Natasha. “Do you think we wanna know?”
“No,” Natasha replied instantly. “But we will.”
There was absolute certainty in her voice and Clint felt his own lips curve into a smile. She was right. Eventually, they'd all know what had gotten Darcy giggling because nothing remained secret in this place for long.
He just really hoped she hadn't started a prank war with Stark again—that hadn't ended well for any
of the Tower occupants.~~*~~
“I'm just saying, we could turn it into a big--”
“No, Tony, we are not giving Bruce a surprise party for his birthday,” Pepper's tone was firm and Tony felt himself pout. Damnit, why did he have to be so far go—what was Thor doing?
“Hey Pointbreak, whatcha doin?” he asked, taking in the standing Asgardian in his living room. He followed the God's gaze and found him staring down at his Hammer, which had been left (again) in the living room when the guy and Foster had been banished last night for getting too frisky for Steve and Bruce's comfort.
“Thor, is something wrong?” Pepper asked, sounding concerned. He finally looked up at them, blue eyes wide and confused, like a puppy.
“I do not know, Lady Pepper,” he answered, frowning.
“What do you mean?” Tony asked, moving forward now, a frisson of worry in the back of his head. Thor got confused a lot, it was true, but this seemed different somehow.
“Mjolnir seems to have changed,” he answered and Tony and Pepper both looked down at the hammer.
He didn't see it at first, looking instead at the actual hammer part but as his gaze took stock of the handle, he stopped, brain stuttering at what he was seeing.
“Is that...?” Pepper asked and he could hear both the confusion and the underlying humor in her voice, so hidden it was doubtful Thor would catch it. Tony only did because he'd known her so long. Tony squatted down, head tilted as he got a better look at the handle of the legendary weapon. His lips curved up in a wicked grin. This had to be Lewis' work.
“It is indeed,” he agreed as he stood up. He clapped Thor on the shoulder. “Congratulations, buddy—Now you just gotta find it a Pokeball.”
“Tony!” Pepper scolded but, again, he could hear the laughter. He gave her his most innocent grin before an idea came. She seemed to see it cause her face fell. “Oh no, now what?”
“I wonder if I could do that,” he murmured, mind going a mile a minute at the possibilities. “Huh. I'll be in my lab.”
“Tony, no, you are not making Pokeballs, we have enough copyright problems with the Daleks you made!” Pepper insisted as she followed him, the two leaving Thor staring down at his Hammer in more confusion than ever before. ~~*~~
Bruce looked up at the ceiling, blinking at the lights hit his eyes. He'd been working on a new project undisturbed for—he checked his watch—four hours. He stretched out. He should probably stop doing that. “What is it JARVIS?”
“Thor has asked for your assistance in the living room,” The AI responded and it might have been his imagination, but Bruce thought the computer sounded highly entertained.
“What's going on?” he asked, standing up. Thor and Steve had taken to calling on him, Coulson, or Natasha for help when something concerned them or they needed clarification because Tony, Clint, and Darcy had a bad habit of heckling them or outright lying just to see their faces. Pepper wasn't around often enough for either man to feel comfortable asking and Foster tended to get tetchy when they interrupted her science time. As it was, Natasha and Bruce had forgone explaining a few times themselves, if only because the topics were uncomfortable for them or they found the situation the men found themselves in highly amusing. The only one who consistently answered honestly was Coulson and mostly the team attributed that to the man-crush he had on Steve.
“Tell him I'll be down in a minute,” he said, making certain his research could stand as it was for a few hours. Sometimes, these things took time (and lots of tea—lots and lots of tea).
He got to the living room a few minutes later, to find Thor cradling his hammer like a baby and practically biting his lower lip off in worry. Bruce blinked.
“Are you okay?” he asked, walking forward gingerly and wondering if maybe he shouldn't call Steve—or even Darcy, she was surprisingly good at calming the Thunder God down.
“What is a Pokeball?” he demanded.
“A Pokeball,” Thor repeated. “Anthony said it would behoove me to gain access to one, to help with Mjolnir.”
“O...kay...” Bruce said slowly, frowning. He sincerely doubted Tony had used the term behoove but that was not the problem here. “Maybe you should stop from the top.”
Thor immediately looked up at the ceiling, where Bruce could have sworn he heard JARVIS laughing. “From the beginning,” he clarified when the god looked back at him. Thor gave a firm nod.
“I came into the living room earlier this evening, with the intention of getting my Hammer to polish it for battle,” Thor began and then had to stop because Bruce had started coughing. “Are you unwell, Dr. Banner?”
“I'm fine, continue,” he said, waving it away and vowing to cut down on the amount of time he spent with Tony. And Darcy. And Clint. Their influence seemed to have infected him, if the direction his mind had gone was any indication.
“As I was saying, I came to get my Hammer when I found it had...changed in my absense,” Thor explained.
Bruce calmed down considerably at his words, looking at the Hammer in his arms worriedly.
“Changed how?” he asked. And what the hell does this have to do with Pokemon?
he thought but did not say.
“The handle has changed,” he said, showing the aforementioned handle. It took a moment for Bruce's mind to make the connection but when it did, an involuntary snort popped out. Thor frowned. “Do you know what this means?”
Bruce had two choices here, it seemed. He could go along with the joke someone (and he was betting it was Darcy) was playing on Thor or he could put a stop to it and explain the meaning. Thor's obvious worry about his hammer almost swayed him to the latter, but then Bruce remembered Darcy's last prank on him and how Thor had helped. Decision made, he gave the Asgardian a brief smile.
“There are people on Earth,” he began, “Who travel around, collecting...beings. They're contained in Pokeballs and are called from them when the person who captured the being needs to do battle and could use the beings help.”
Behind Thor, near the spiral staircase that went straight up through the Avengers part of the Tower, he could see Darcy giving him a bright grin and a thumbs up as she listened and watched. He wondered how long she'd been there.
“What does this have to do with Mjolnir?” Thor asked, his grip on the Hammer noticeably tightening. Bruce resisted the urge to snicker.
“It seems Mjolnir has been, ahem, tapped to be laid claim to,” he said, keeping as much a straight face as possible. “Which is why Tony suggested you getting a Pokeball, so you could do so first.”
The absolutely alarmed expression on Thor's face was nearly enough to send Bruce into gales of laughter and was definitely enough to get the Other Guy chuckling in the back of his head.
“Mjolnir is mine!” he practically shouted.
“Which is why you need a Pokeball,” Bruce agreed calmly, vowing to have Tony view the feed later.
“And I know just where to get one,” Clint announced, dropping out of the ceiling and straightening next to Thor. He shot Bruce a wink before turning to Thor seriously. “C'mon big guy, lets go get you a Pokeball before someone else lays claim to Mew--Mjolnir.” ~~*~~
Steve was talking with Coulson as they entered the kitchen. It was early evening and the two had both been gone most of the day working on various projects. They'd stopped and ordered Chinese for their housemates on the way back. It was a lot of stuff and Steve heard Coulson let out a sigh of relief as he dropped his boxes (admittedly smaller in number than Steve's) onto the counter.
“You should have said something, I could have carried more,” Steve noted but Coulson waved him away.
“It's fine, besides, I need the work,” he said, hand going to his chest as he grimaced. Steve winced at the reminder. He wanted to say something but Coulson was looking around, a frown on his face. “It's very quiet, isn't it?”
Now that he mentioned it, it was
very quiet. About this time everyone started congregating in the common rooms, usually to either make their own dinners (Darcy, Steve, Bruce, Coulson) or bug someone to share whatever they were cooking (Clint, Thor, Tony, Natasha). He glanced at Coulson. “Maybe...too
“JARVIS, where are the rest of the team?” Coulson asked immediately. It took a moment for the AI to answer but when he did, he sounded like he wanted to be laughing.
“The rest of the team are in the gym with Miss Lewis and Dr. Ross,” he supplied. He paused again.
“And what are they doing?” Coulson asked and Steve decided they'd lived with the AI too long when they both knew to ask that question because otherwise, JARVIS wouldn't offer it.
“Thor is attempting to lay claim to Mjolnir,” JARVIS replied. “The others are watching.”
“What do you mean 'lay claim to Mjolnir?” Steve and Coulson demanded at the same time.
“Who took Mjolnir?” Steve added, wondering if he needed to get his shield. The AI didn't seem concerned....
“No one,” JARVIS assured him.
“Perhaps it would be easier for you to see it than for me to explain it,” JARVIS suggested and Coulson instantly headed towards the elevator. Steve followed closely behind.
Walking inside behind Coulson, he almost slammed into the other man when the Agent stopped in his tracks just inside the door. Steve caught himself in time (barely) and was about to ask what the matter was but got distracted when something went sailing ahead of them to crash into the opposite wall, breaking into a million black, red, and white pieces. Mjolnir lay on the floor close to the wall (and the doors), apparently untouched.
“I do not understand!” Thor shouted from the opposite end of the gym, a box at his feet. “Why would any warrior create such flimsy devices in which to contain a being of considerable power?”
“Most of the warriors who use em aren't Asgardians,” Tony shrugged. “You just got better strength than most.”
“Try again,” Natasha said calmly, handing the God what look like...was that a Pokeball?
“What are you doing?” Coulson asked, frowning at the watching group. Darcy was sitting with Clint, Bruce, and Betty off to the side, all four of them munching on popcorn as they watched Tony and Natasha stand by and help Thor with whatever it was he was doing.
“Helping Thor catch Mjolnir,” Tony replied cheerfully and Steve looked back at the Hammer. He squinted. Was that really what he thought it was?
Thor reared back and let sail another ball. This one went with less force than the last, but still sailed over the Hammer and smashed into the wall. Thor stomped back to the box and grabbed another ball, tearing off the plastic and going back to the far wall, standing close to it. He probably thought if he was farther, it wouldn't hit the wall with as much force and he could compensate from there.
“With Pokeballs?” He and Coulson asked at the same time.
Tony did a double take. “How do you know about Pokeballs?” he asked accusingly as Clint and Dr. Ross frantically thumped on Darcy and Bruce's backs to dislodge the popcorn they'd choked on.
“Just because I don't like much of the programming doesn't mean I don't actually watch television, Tony,” Steve said, frowning at him. “Now what did you do?”
“What makes you think I did anything?” the billionaire demanded. Steve just looked at him and Tony threw out a hand to point at Darcy. “She started it!”
“Thor, go grab your Hammer and bring it here,” Coulson ordered, hand going to the bridge of his nose. Thor frowned but a quick look at Steve and he did as told. He approached them worriedly.
“I cannot seem to catch Mjolnir,” Thor said earnestly as he held the Hammer to his chest protectively. “I do not wish for someone else to lay claim—what if they are not worthy?”
Steve's lips twitched and he had a feeling he knew why the entire team plus the two women seemed to have been in cahoots about this. It was
kinda funny, the way Thor was freaking out. He was always so laid back and easy mannered when not in battle...
However, there came a time when every prank had to end and they all knew that time was now.
“Thor, can I see the handle please?” Coulson asked and Thor held out the hammer, holding the head of it himself so Coulson could get to where the start of all this was.
As Coulson pulled back on the tape, Steve schooled his face into leader-modem, arms crossing as the rest of the team watched. The God's brow was furrowing as the tape came off and then widened when Coulson finally got the cards along with it. He looked at them. “I do not understand,” he said.
“This is a Pokemon card,” Coulson said, holding up the sticky prank. “Well, two Pokemon cards of the same Pokemon.”
“Yes, the great beasts of battle,” Thor agreed and Steve was having trouble keeping a firm look on his face. He kept his gaze on the Thor cause if he looked at any of the team, he had a horrible feeling he'd start laughing. It was mean and horrible and not something to do to Thor and yet....
“Thor...Pokemon is a television show, a cartoon, none of it is real,” Coulson explained patiently. “Given Miss Lewis' mangling of Mjolnir's name, I believe she thought it would be funny to attach these to the Hammer.” He held up the two cards and despite himself, Steve snorted a laugh when he saw they were both of Mew. Mew and Mew. Mew Mew.
“It...was a joke?” Thor asked slowly, turning to look at the rest of the team.
“Hey, I only attached them,” Darcy said, shaking her head. She pointed at Tony, and then Bruce and Clint. “They're the one's who convinced you you needed to claim Mjolnir again.”
“I didn't see you stopping us!” Clint objected and before another fight could break out between the couple, Coulson held up a hand and they fell silent.
“Mr. Stark, Barton, Romanoff, Miss Lewis, Dr. Banner, Dr. Ross, I believe you all owe Thor an apology,” Coulson said firmly.
“Sorry Thor,” they all chorused, some more chagrined than others.
“I accept your apology,” Thor said, inclining his head as he gripped the Hammer. He glanced at Steve then, a question in his eyes and Steve couldn't help it, he gave a brief nod. He'd help with whatever scheme the Asgardian came up with to get back at them. Thor smiled slightly and turned back to them. “However, Lady Darcy, if you touch Mjolnir again, the repercussions will be...unpleasant.”
Darcy merely cackled, completely unconcerned with the threat and, knowing her, probably looking forward to the God's eventual retaliation..
“Mew Mew, I choose you!”