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They Call the Cops on Us

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Summary: Seeing Faith as a lost cause the council gives her a joke for a watcher

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Married With ChildrenChunkmanFR15510,4371348,1663 Apr 137 May 14No

A New Job

I do not own Married with Children or Buffy or I'd be counting my money right now.



Faith smiled walking into her home. She never thought she'd say that. Mama was an abusive drunk and papa fled before having a habit. She comes in and sees Xander helping a four year old girl with her brunette hair read a Dr. Seuss book. "Hey Xan, Jess what are you two doing?"

Jessie smiled seeing her and ran up to her. "Mommy"

Faith smiled gently rocking her as she picked her up. "Jess, were things really that bad that a week alone with Daddy made you like this."

"I missed you." Jessica defended herself arms wrapped around her mother's neck.

Faith smiled she can't believe it's only been a week since she saw that smile. Seems like a lifetime. "I also brought over a surprise visitor."

Jessica Harris watched as the door opened as she saw a man who has finally come to peace with life with little to no hair and a smile. "Grandpa Al"

Al caught her easily enough she's at that sweet age before she becomes a woman and a long time before she becomes a wife. "Easy pumpkin grandma Peg won't like that so how are you doing?"

"I got in trouble for hitting a bully's head against a jungle gym. He dropped like a rock."

"That's my girl." Al responded.

Faith looked to Xan. "When were you going to tell me that?"

"The kid was a ten year old bully and has been a lot nicer since Jessie got done with him. Thankfully the meeting was at night so Angel went and charmed the pants off the principal but not in a dead body Angelus is back sort of way." Xander defended his daughter he's proud of her. "She'll tell you the whole story."

Faith nodded taking Jess off Al and turned to Xander. "Well after I catch up with her maybe Al won't mind babysitting so we can catch up tonight."

Al shrugged in his usual stoicism but on the bright side if Jessie spends the night then no... "Oh we love having her over."

Faith took Jess and headed towards the four years old's bedroom.

Xander smiled and looked at Al. "Beer"

"Beer" Al agreed.

Xander went into the fridge and got one for each and put a tray of weenie tots on. "So how did things go in Cleveland?"

"You know the usual things a hellmouth can do invisible girl army of vampires." Xander laid the platter out for him causing Al to smile. "Ah weenie tots nature's miracle."

"So thanks for agreeing to watch Jessie tonight." Xander answered.

"It's beneficial the closer I get to be to Jessie theā€¦ further I get to be from someone else." Al replied. Thinking back to this life who would have thought the British would be useful for something. "Still can't believe you two are still going at it after all this time maybe the secret is to never get married."

"Well to be fair our families were so screwed up if either of us dropped a ring it would be the beginning of the end." Xander replied but sees Al is either mentally at the nudie bar or he's thinking about the past.



10 years ago

Al hopped off the Bus in Boston. He doesn't know who the Watcher's Council is but they're good people. In agreement for lifting the Bundy family curse he agreed to watch over a girl in Boston. They say she's a lost cause and the powers would have to be off their rocker to activate her and it was cheaper to lift the curse and hire Al then an actual watcher and plane fare.

The curse actually being lifted supported the family. Kelly became a famous actress but since she can't remember her address they can't get in touch with her so she's safe from her gold digging mother... and family. Bud became a big shot lawyer at some charity division in LA named after three animals. And all Al has to do is look out for a child he doesn't even have to be a parent. Al took out the piece of paper the oracle gave him and headed to room 106. When he got there he saw an unwanted sight of a shirtless guy on top of a girl as he rolled his eyes and opened the door. Al yanked the kid up by the back of his hair it's going to be Kelly all over again. "Let me give you the tour."

Al took two steps and stopped. "This is her bedpost." Al slams the boys head into the bedpost and pointed at the dresser. "This is her dresser" Al slams his head into it before dragging him out in a headlock. "And this is her front door."

Faith makes repeated notes she has to learn how to do this as Al pummels Barry or was it Gary's head with the front door opening and closing it a few times before he steals his wallet and throws him out. Faith looked at the older man "This is his place and before that who the hell are you?"

"You must be Faith. I'm Al Bundy I was sent by the watcher's council to replace Diana."

Faith smiled Diana was nice but bailed on her, couldn't her new watcher at least have hair. "Well you beat him up and sent him flying before I learned what his right name is so thanks for that."

Al looked at her. "You seem like a smart girl considering you've been living on your own why would you go out with a bum like that."

"Hey guys see me and let's just say their priorities shift." Faith countered. "By the way you ripped off a guy for three bucks."

Al showed her a wad of twenties. "I counted it at three hundred."

Faith looked at him. "He stole and dine and dashed leaving me holding the bag, that fucking klepto."

"Well his name is Steve." Al said looking at the ID.

"So where are we going to live?" Faith asked.

Al shrugged seeing Faith hurt she looks like she wants an honest relationship but life just keeps screwing her. "Well the first thing we're going to do is grab everything valuable and get the best hotel room three hundred bucks can buy for tonight come on."

Faith smiled never expecting a watcher to say that as she grabbed all the jewelry she could along with Steve's keys while Al went for the TV as the two emptied out of the apartment in seconds to mark the beginning of their new lives driving off in Steve's car.
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