Chapter 4: Where the men-gods are....
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Chapter 4: Where the men-gods are....
"Rise and shine, pretty boy!"
The sleeping person groaned and mumbled something about not wanting to go to school. He slowly turned around, giving his back to whomever was trying to wake him up.
"Look, kid, I'm all for letting you be but, here's the thing, you have a job to do", and the speaking being punctuated this sentence by kicking the sleeping guy on the back.
"Meemaw! I said-", he faltered at seeing not-his-grandmother in front of him. Then he looked at his surroundings.
He was in a clearing but, everywhere he looked, there were trees with black leaves and purple bark, all as tall and wide as the skyscrapers he had seen so many times on the tv. Finally he noticed that he was completely naked but he simply covered his genitals while staring angrily at whom had woken him up.
The man was wearing a stereotypical mailman's uniform. He had short pants, a short sleeved shirt and a cap; all in blue. His violet tinted glasses were the only thing breaking his blue monotony.
Quickly standing up the guy looked angrily at the person in front of him. "Look, I don't know who the hell you think you are but my family is very powerful! So you better give me back my clothes and point me back the way we came or I swear I'm gonna pound you!"
"Whoa, whoa. Take it easy, tough guy. At least take me on a date first. I am the Messenger of the gods! The awesometacullar Hermes of Greece!", the god smirked off while handing the naked dude a pair of pink, loose pants and some yellow flip-flops.
The comment and the clothes immediately made him turn red but he accepted them. It was too cold to be walking around with no clothes.
"I didn't mean it like that, you creep", he gestured angrily at Hermes, ignoring his 'I'm a messenger of the gods' comment by naturally blocking anything supernatural from his mind, just like everyone in Sunnydale was prone to do. "Where the fuck are we? And no more innuendoes! Or I'll beat the shit out of you until you give me an answer I like"
The messenger paused for a moment, looking at the pink and yellowed clothed guy in consternation.
"You don't remember anything, kid?", he finally said, looking at the ex-naked guy.
"Remember what? What the hell are you talking about? And don't call me kid! Name's Larry"
"Sit down Larry, this is gonna be a shock for your system"
At first the changed teenager didn't comply but, as the other dude kept talking and showing him snippets of what had happened nearly sixteen hours ago using what could only be magic, real magic, the guy with the pink pants sat down, hard, on the strangely orange soil where they stood.
"Gods are real", Larry stated, barely able to handle this new truth.
"Yup", Hermes answered Larry's rhetorical question jovially.
"And one of you turned everyone into their costumes?", Larry swallowed the stump on his throat, looking at his hands and trying desperately to remember the previous night.
"Yes", Hermes answered simply, being reminded of what last nights happenings had done to the multiverse.
"Where... where are we anyway?", the kid finally asked, once again looking all around them.
"This is a world where mankind didn't evolve. No cities, no people, no technology. Not even dinosaurs existed here. It's kind of a dump. Nothing really noteworthy will ever happen here", Mercury said while kicking a stone across the clearing.
"This is like... another world? How'd I get here?", the guy with yellow flops asked while staring incredulously at the other guy.
"Look, after Lord Janus died-", he was interrupted by the kid.
"That's the god dude who turned me into my costume, right?"
"Yes, try not to interrupt", the god replied in an annoyed tone. "As I was saying. Lord Janus was a god of doorways. His death opened pathways into other worlds by weakening the walls separating them. He-", but the kid started talking again.
"So this dude just went cablum and that sent me here?"
"Do be kind enough to let me finish", the guy said, extremely put out by the kids attitude.
"Ok, sure, just finish and take me home"
At this Hermes face turned into one of sympathy. He sat in front of Larry and placed a hand on the kids shoulder before he started talking again.
"Look, Larry. I don't know how to say this but... you can't go home"
"What? Is that a threat?", Larry quickly stood up and took a step forward while holding a fist, ready to go into fight mode. He didn't noticed it but his eyes had turned from brown into emerald green at what he perceived was a threat. Hermes stood up but didn't rise at the bait. He just looked sadly at the mortal.
"No. No. But, what Lord Janus did... it destroyed your world. There is nothing to go to.", the god said sympathetically.
"What?!", Larry yelled. "Grandma.... Grandma's dead?", the shock turning his knees into jelly.
"Some people died. Others, like you, were transported into parallel Midgards-"
"So she could be alive? Lets go get her", the kid said hopefully.
"You can't. You-", but he was interrupted again.
"What do you mean I can't? I swear if you-", but Hermes stopped him mid rant by rising his voice.
"What Lord Janus did hurt a lot of worlds. The higher ups-", at this he pointed up. "-decided that this is all your mess to fix. So, congratulations, you have a destiny"
"I don't care about any of that. Get me to my grandma or I"ll-", Larry started angrily, only stopping when Hermes finally had enough and turned into a more 'divine' form.
Mercury's skin turned into a shade reminiscent of the color of Earth's sky, while his clothes changed into a pristine white toga. He was still wearing the same glasses and was holding a golden staff that seemed to be twisted around itself, ending in a sphere with wings. The god was levitating a few inches by using the power of feathered sandals and had an ethereal blue glow to him.
"Let me finish!", the god yelled in a voice that made everything around them fall quiet. He then continued in a more level voice. "If you help us then we can help you find your grandmother. It would be a mutually beneficial deal. You won't be able to find her on your own. You can't even leave this world alone"
Larry glared at Hermes, stopping for once to think about the consequences of saying 'no'.
"If I say yes... what would I have to do?", he said, finally willing to listen without interrupting.
"An army of monsters are heading towards the weak points in reality caused by the events of yesterday. We want you to go to their home world and stop them", the divine entity simply said, glazing over important details and reasons of what it was asking the mortal to do.
Larry blinked rapidly at this unexpected turn of events. "Monsters? Like, Frankenstein and Dracula?"
"Actually Frankenstein was the doct-", Hermes stopped and looked at Larry. "Yeah, like those two"
"Oh", Larry said softly, while looking at the strange golden colored heavens.
He felt a sharp pain in his chest. It could be possible he would never see his Meemaw again. This 'god', thing, whatever, had promised him that he would see his grandmother eventually, but Larry wasn't so naive.
"You swear I'll see my Grandma' again?", Larry asked while staring at the blue god, trying to will the promise into reality.
The Messenger looked directly at the mortal's eyes and felt all of this boys attention focused on what the higher being would say next. He shifted his eyes a little before responding.
"Yeah, you will", and if what he had said felt heavier than a feather... well, orders were orders. And, technically, lying was permitted.
"Ugh!", Larry walked across the clearing, rubbing roughly his head with both hands.
Fact: he was stuck in another world. Fact: he couldn't leave without Hermes help. Fact: if he wanted to see his only family again he would have to risk getting screwed over.
He paused and looked back at the still floating god that was waiting for him to say yes. "How can I even fight those dudes? I play football but I don't think that's gonna be much help against monsters"
"I came to you because you still retain some aspects of your costume. You, along with others, have the power and skills to fight all the things that go bump in the night", and, at the very least, that answer felt honest.
Even though he was going to go against something unknown, this being thought that him, Larry Blaisdell, could win.
"Well, now I'm the Hulk, right? I can just sprint up and keep goin'", he looked at his hands and back at the Greco-Roman deity before finally venturing, "What if I say that I don't want to?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine foraging along on this world. Your species spent thousands of years doing it. Something must remain of it in your DNA"
Fact: Larry couldn't say 'no'. Fact: Hermes hadn't given him a reason to trust him. Not when he had come to him spewing shit about destiny and wasn't giving him any other choice. So, this 'god' was most definitely not to be trusted.
"Ok", Larry finally said. "Where do we start?"
And if the human felt a little nervous it was most definitely not because he was thinking about screwing over a being that claimed to be divinity at the first chance he got.
Alright! Chapter número four is done! One of this days I'll post all the references I've done through what I've got so far of the story.
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