Title: Xander's Girls -- Multiverse Drabbles
Author: B.H. Ramsay
Disclaimer: I don't own them I'm just borrowing them for a while and I'm not making any money so please don't sue
Rating : PG
Summary: Some of the most dangerous women in the world have met the Zeppo
Dedication: The Shrine of Heroes, everyone at Xanderzone, Crossover Connection & Buffy Crossovers
Go-Go Yubari -- Kill Bill
"Normally I don’t do Blind dates."
"I hope you aren't disappointed Harris-san"
"Are you kidding me you're great I just wish I could offer a classier meal. "
"There is a place in the town that serves passable Japanese food?"
"IF so, then we will find it or my name isn't Xander Harris."
"It would be an honor Harris-san."
"Just call me Xander."
"And you can all me Go-Go."
An hour later a body was found in the ladies washroom. Police investigated but all the bartender could remember was that she was talking to a young Asian girl about her late arriving date, a blind Internet Date
BloodRayne -- Majesco Games
Rayne looked at Xander. She was used to men staring at her athletic figure.
In truth, it was one of the reasons she dressed as she did; tactical advantage.
Still there was a limit. "You're looking like you’ve never seen a girl fight vampires before."
"You took out six vampires in the time it took me to stake two."
Rayne smiled wryly "So the only reason your staring is because of my vampire slaying."
"Well the outfit is somewhat distracting. "
"See, was that so hard to admit, I prefer honesty in my men."
"I'm going to need a moment."
"just a moment , how disappointing."
Sonja Blue -- Nancy J Collins
I watched the kid leave with the Succubus. He didn’t seem enchanted. I followed them and watched as she attacked him and he tried to stake her in her ample chest. He thought he was being picked up by a Vampire, typical rookie mistake. I grabbed her and cut her skanky throat.
"Stake to the heart usually works" the kid Puffed
"On a vampire, Succubus require a whole different type of killing."
"He looks yummy couldn't we play with him." My Other whined
"Shut up." I muttered. I did not want to scare the kid after all.
American McGee's Alice
Buffy sighed, "OK Xander we have to discuss your dating issue "
"What wrong with Alice." Xander replied defensively, "she's nice, She's polite, she radiates wholesome."
"There is the foot long Butcher knife " Buffy insisted
"Did you see that mutant card thing she was fighting, I think she needs protection."
"What about the toys that spew fire and demons." Willow whined
"She apologized about your hair Willis. It will grow back in a month or two."
"And her emaciated cat hurls abuse at us in iambic pentameter." Giles muttered
"Ok, even I'll admit the smiling cat is freaky."
Ghost in the Shell -- Motoko (The Major)
Willow could stand Xander's sighs not a moment longer
"Why don’t you just ask her out and be done with it "
"Girls like her cannot date guys like me "
"What is so different about you both. You are a man, she is a woman what's the biggie "
"She comes from a future time, she's a completely ruthless killer, she possesses supernatural hacking skillz "
"So far, she seems fine to me "
"And the ten- percent of her that is still organic is encased in the most advanced cyber body that will ever be developed "
"I admit that could be a problem"
Tina Grier -- Smallville
Tina crashed to the ground. It had taken Clark and Buffy both to subdue her.
Buffy turned to Xander, "Good work keeping her distracted, Xander"
Clark shook Xander's hand, "I thought I was the only one who could see through Tina's tricks but, I'd love to know your secret "
"I'll never tell "Xander smiled sadly remembering the passionate kiss that had given her away. After all, He was still Xander and Buffy would never kiss Xander as if he was the only person she had ever wanted unless she was under a spell or if it wasn't really Buffy.
Meadow Soprano -- HBO Productions
Xander walked Meadow to her door.
"I had a great time tonight." she said
"So did I" Xander smiled He could taste the invitation to spend the night in her kiss. His beeping cellular phone broke the spell. The guys needed him.
"I'm sorry about this but…"
"Don't worry Xander, where I come from late night calls are normal."
"This better be good." Xander hissed into the phone as her door closed
"Did your girlfriend tell you what her father does for a living?" Willow asked
Willow's info left him wondering; should he throw up before or after his cold shower.