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Xander Trax: Cop on the Hellmouth

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Summary: Xander's Halloween budget is near zip, but Ethan cuts him a break 'cause he liked the show.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Time TraxtohonomikeFR151120,72746027,2546 Jul 057 Feb 06No

Xander Trax: Cop on the Hellmouth

Xander Trax: Cop on the Hellmouth

Author: Tohonomike

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful will start off with the Joss/ME characters, and the Lorimar characters aren’t mine either and any other characters or real-life folks are clearly not mine. NO money is involved. None are mine.

I came across a series I used to watch in the early nineties and then considering Xander’s Halloween budget, it seemed to fit, especially since this show was part of those that evolved into the WB.

Xander watched as the last toy gun was usurped by some jock and his friends that seemed determined to go as a mercenary unit. He sighed and shook his head, then dug around the bin, coming across a three button remote of some kind, an old credit card, a weightlifter’s belt and a couple of odd-looking handheld devices. He nodded his head, and looked around the more grown up section of the store, and finally found something very close to what he wanted, an old WW2 bomber jacket.

“Can I help you?” a British-accented voice asked from just behind him, causing Xander to nearly leap out of his skin in startlement.

“Gah! What is it with you stealthy British types? Giles is bad enough with his library books!”

“I’m terribly sorry, and would that happen to be Rupert Giles?”

“Yeah why? You know the stuffy book guy?”

“Oh yes, much before he became a stuffy book guy, he was rather a scrappy fellow. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Ethan, proprietor of this shop.”

They shook hands, and the man continued, “So anything in particular today? It’s getting nigh to closing, and for some reason I just don’t feel safe at night.”

“Good call, man, we have a bit of a gang problem; I was going to go as a soldier but that muscle-head and his friends cleared out the weapons. I’m trying to put together a cop costume from a sci-fi show from a few years back, where the guy used his brain.” He showed the pieces together, and light entered the man’s eyes.

“Ah, Time Trax,” Ethan smiled, holding out his hand again, “It’s nice to meet another of the four people who actually watched the show. How much were you looking to spend?”

“Well, I can probably buy these little things, but no way could I afford the jacket, let alone get the Flying Tigers thing put on it.”

“Tell you what, for what you have, you can buy the smaller items, and you can return the jacket when you get the chance. Like I may have indicated, someone who actually wants to watch an intelligent television show is rare enough to cut a deal. I’ll just box the things up, though I might have the proper jacket in back.”


Things were a bit chaotic, the streets filled with unknowns, but it looked like a Halloween gone bad. In the nearly five years of being in this parallel past, Darien Lambert had yet to come across such a spectacle, especially as many of the costumes looked real. With a start he noticed a pretty young teenager on the ground, fallen under a hedge. He bent down to touch her as he activated his computer.


“Yes?” “What?”

He looked to find that Selma and a holographic projection of the redhead both appeared from his credit card computer. The girl’s body had no pulse, but was cooling without sign of injury.

“Xander! Why am I tiny and a holographic image?!”

“Xander? My name’s Darien, you must have me—“

Selma interrupted, “Hold on, Captain, you do appear to be in the form of one Alexander Harris of Sunnydale, California, though in spite of voice differences, my databases show you as the legitimate bearer of this Selma. The girl could be a Willow Rosenberg—“

“That’s me! I’m Willow, what’s going on?”

“That I do not have any information regarding,” Selma apologized, but was surprised at contact when Willow patted her gratefully on the shoulder.

“Okay, Miss Rosenberg,” Darien smiled ingratiatingly at Willow, “Please tell us what happened.

“Well, I dressed as a ghost, and some how even though my body’s there, I’m with you all holography…”

“Okay, scan the area for odd energy signatures and the like…”

Both Selma and Willow responded the same way, “Working on it Captain,” and looked at each other in surprise then smiled as they seemed to share an empathic link.

Selma spoke first, “Captain, most of the alien life forms give off very strange emissions, and none of them are in our databases.”

Willow chimed in, “Maybe that’s because the problem is supernatural in origin, Captain. I postulate that if I were changed into on odd form of my costume, but a holographic interactive projection instead of a ghost because of my proximity to yourself and Selma, then the kids trick or treating might also be under a similar chaotic effect.”

“Selma,” Darien stressed, “Any possible point of concentration in the area that you can detect that’s greater than the individual ones.”

“Not really, Captain Lambert, though the tiniest increase seems in a northerly direction, what do you think Miss Rosenberg?”

“I concur, Selma, and please call me Willow. After all, I am borrowing some of your unused CPU and memory capacity.”

:Indeed, thank you. Anything else we can share with the Captain?:

:Hmm,: Willow considered at extremely fast speeds, “If it involves costumes, then perhaps we should check at the costume shops for a ‘lead’ as both stores are in that direction.”

“Excellent Willow, and soon we—“

A scream and Darien quickly picked up her body and suddenly down the street at much faster than human speed, only to find a strange girl in a big poofy dress screaming at a car.

“That’s Buffy! Save her!”

Darien calculated the unfortunate path the girl was running that would take her into the intersection and in front of a truck trying to avoid screaming unaffected children. He fired his ppt at her, dropping her like a rock.

“Okay, it’ll keep her out for a few minutes; Willow what’s the best place we can put the two of you while we continue this investigation?”

“Probably the high school library, Captain, it’s in the direction we’re traveling and Giles will have a better idea of how we might terminate this untenable situation.”

“Giles?” Darien asked as he with some awkwardness carried a teenaged girl over each shoulder and started moving again, ppt in hand just in case.

“Rupert Giles, the librarian, he knows a lot about the occult and supernatural.”

“Hmm, yes,” Selma concurred with the choice, “Dr. Rupert Giles, with degrees in Library Science, Mythology and Ancient Languages. Former Assistant Curator of the British Museum. Oh my, he seems to have had a colorful past during his college years before remaining free of police scrutiny. Known associates, cross-referencing…there seems to be an Ethan Rayne that is also shown as conducting business in Sunnydale at this time Captain…a costume shop.”

“Really? Excellent work Selma. Willow, if you vouch for his current integrity, we’ll see your Dr. Giles, otherwise continue straight on to this Ethan’s.”

“Oh! Wow… you’re right about his past… but yes, I trust him.”

“Alright,” Darien smiled a reassuring smile to the red head.

A few minutes later they use a key in Willow’s pocket to gain access to the library without waiting. Only a minor disagreement with Willow over use of the ppt occurred.

“Good Lord, Xander,” Giles called as he set down his tea and rushed over, “what happened?”

“This Buffy is only unconscious, Dr. Giles,” Darien told him as he as gently as possible lowered them to the table with Giles’ assistance, “Though Miss Rosenberg is I hope only temporarily deceased at this time.”


At this moment he noticed Willow and a matronly dressed woman projecting atop Buffy’s large hair.

“It’s me, Giles! Willow! We think an old friend of yours named Ethan Rayne sold us costumes that we turned into.”

“A-and you turned into a tiny ghost?”

“Never mind! Captain Lambert will explain.”


“Me,” Darien remarked, holding out his hand, which Giles absently shook, “I’m actually Darien Lambert, and Xander seems to be elsewhere right now. If you believe no one will enter the building while we’re gone, we’ll leave the two young ladies here while we induce this Ethan Rayne to reverse his actions.”

“O-of course, we’ll place them in the weapons cage.”

“Weapons cage? At a high school?”

“It’s a very long story, but suffice to say they are sometimes needed to defend the school.”

“I’ll let it pass, since I probably won’t be here much longer anyway.”


Two humans and two AIs entered the building, unaware that William the Bloody and his minions had followed out of curiosity a Watcher about to apparently commit a breaking and entering.

“Where is this friend of yours, Dr. Giles?” Darien asked as a short man came out of the back room.

“I’m Ethan…officer…and I believe you both to be trespassing and without a warrant.”

Giles surged forth in disgust, fists clenched and waving, “I’ll barrister your way out of this!” But Darien halted the attempted assault.

“Dr. Giles, I’m afraid I can’t allow you to assault the man…”

A voice broke through with its own disapproval, “Why the bloody Hell not? I like to have the meat tenderized before I eat it.”

Darien turned and remarked to the leather-clad man that a whispering Willow told him was a real vampire like the ones with him, and needed to be eliminated, Selma concurring.

“Well, I believe that in California in this century that sodomy was still against the law, even for the undead, which would add necrophilia to your crimes as well, in addition to your own illegal entry.”

The vampire snarled in offense as the minions snickered at the remark, Darien firing his ppt five times very quickly, the blue button for maximum stun, but the result was quite unexpected. For a brief moment the energy flashed over the beings, and apparently it was enough to disrupt the blood magic binding the demon to the host long enough for William the Bloody and his snickering minions to dust into history.

Ethan tried to make an escape, but Giles tripped him, quickly following the downed Chaos Mage into the back room where a bust of Janus, eyes glowing, rested. Giles struck the mage gleefully three or four times until Darien made his way in back, Ripper offering a smile, “Just trying to make a citizen’s arrest, guv,” as he kicked the man twice while he was down.

“Hold up, Dr. Giles,” the cop from the future directed as he approached Ethan, “Mr. Rayne, are you prepared to cooperate?”

His response was bloody spittle to be ejected at him from the man’s mouth. Darien frowned and moved his finger over the red button, firing at Chaos Mage and then Janus, Ethan disappearing and a brief feedback loop visible to Giles as the young man winced, then lowered the ppt.

“Alexander? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Dr. Giles, I am…the young man stated wearily, “though Ethan will be back, here, one year from now.”

“H-how do you know this?”

I have all of Darien’s memories, including those of when he returned home to the future, and spent five years chasing down one Ethan Rayne, as well as other terrorists before Ethan mortally shot him. Darien managed to shoot him as well, as Ethan manages to escape in a slightly more efficient TRAX device 204 years into the past instead of two hundred. So in spite of all this ingrained law enforcement, I intend to return to this spot and eradicate Ethan Rayne. And will not tolerate interference.”

A holographic image popped up, of Selma, “I’m afraid that would make you as bad as he, Alexander. I hope that within the year you come up with a better solution than base criminality or I’ll be sorely disappointed.”

“Sel? You’re…here?”

“Indeed, somehow that feedback loop has maintained the reality of that which was on you at the time, Captain Harris, including the paralyzing beam, the ppt, the SFD, and the APTUX.”


“So you now have the tools to continue a modified version of the mission, not to necessarily eject problems into the future, which the ppt will allow, but to make a difference. Something to which both you and Captain Lambert have sworn.”

“Alright, but I’m reserving termination as a last resort. Fair enough?”

“Let us hope to avoid that, Captain.”

Giles nodded, “Indeed, Alexander, as much as I wish to kill him, I haven’t yet given up hope of a better solution.”

“Okay, let’s go find Wills and Buff, make sure their okay. Oh? And Selma? I do need you to come up with equivalent identities in various databases and such, to those Darien used, tomorrow. And I’d like my emancipation papers to go through, and a name change to Alexander Lambert.”

“He’d be honored, Alexander.”

“Thanks Sel.”

“Don’t call me Sel unless you wish for me to call you vampy.”


“That goes double for me, Xander,” Giles smirked.

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