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Life of the Party

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Summary: After death number three, Buffy finds herself in a whole new Universe of fun. Vampires have mind powers, werewolves thrive on messed up politics, and Anita Blake doesn't like her, at all. Buffy never did play well with others.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anita Blake > Buffy-CenteredKeiFR1547,9801010626,60517 Jul 057 Feb 14No

Third Time's a Charm

AN: See, I can write something other than Xander!

Timeline: After 'Burnt Offerings' for Anita Blake (Asher's first book appearance),
and post Chosen for Buffy, of course. By a decade or so. Things will be going AU
for the Anita timeline as well, because I say so.

General Buffy for now. Later, we'll see.

Silence is golden, feedback is platinum. Go for platinum.

***************** Life of the Party: Prologue ********************

Well, Buffy had to hand it to this universe- she’d never been in better shape.
Although it sucked when she was getting the crap kicked out of her to get into

Like now.

The Vampire made a feint that she was a breadth too slow to follow, and rammed
an elbow into her neck with a blow that would have crippled someone a little
more… ordinary. Instead Buffy merely let out a strong ‘oomph’ of pain, growled
as she rolled to absorb some of the blow and tried to keep her damned blindfold
from falling from her eyes.

This had been so much more fun with Giles. Especially once all the little
Slayerettes had come along and SHE got to be the one to attack blindfolded
children with bags full of flour and weapons.

STUPID Hell dimension with its STUPID Vampires with magic eyes that sucked you
dry better than teeth. Maybe a werewolf, excuse her manners, a LYCANTHROPE
would tear her eyes out and then she wouldn’t have to worry about the stupid
cloth slipping.


You think she would have learned after THREE deaths when to leave well enough
alone, but oh no, she’d gotten talked into this little shindig and the worst
part, the absolutely worst part, was that she HAD AGREED.

“Oh Buffy,” she snarled in a mocking parody of herself, “they need you.”

“Why,” she exclaimed in falsetto as she dug for her stake and twisted out of
the superhuman hands of the Vampire she was trying her damndest to kill, “they
need little ol’ me? Are you sure?”

Damn! The Vamp had just taken out a chunk of her forearm. That was going to
hurt like a bitch come tomorrow, if she saw tomorrow. “Oh quite,” she growled
as she continued the monologue, “what ever would a universe do without a
Vampire Slayer to set things aright.”

“Well,” she continued, panting as she took advantage of the Vampire slipping
unexpectedly in some street refuse to pin him to a nearby wall in the dark
alley with her own superhuman strength, “I couldn’t very well deny a world my
protection. I have ever so much to give,” she simpered.

The Vampire, which was trying to tear her to pieces despite his imminent death,
yanked off her blindfold in the process. Buffy smiled with grim melancholy as
the Vampire stared at her for a heartbeat, more surprised than she, too surprised
to automatically take advantage of her. Ah the foibles of youth.

Buffy touched one of the Vampire’s soft cheeks. “I bring Death.” The stake
struck true and the Vampire shrieked as he convulsed and, after a terrible moment,

She stared down at the body in the alleyway and hunched into herself, the hand
of her good arm going automatically to apply pressure to the left, where a three
inch gouge of flesh had been torn off. By a Vampire who had only been seven years
or so of age before being turned. She brought Death to children. This Universe

“That’s me,” she muttered darkly, “the life of any party. Until well, everyone
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