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Lies Our Parents Told Us

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Summary: An interactive series of humorous ficlets featuring BtVS and Stargate. See inside for full premise. Have fun with it!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > GeneralKeiFR151440064,81726 Oct 0526 Oct 05No
The Premise: You all remember all the lies you were told growing up, right?
If you eat a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach...
If you keep making faces, one day, YOUR face will freeze like that...

Yeah, those.

So this is my playful take on them. Review with "lies" you'd like to see
appear and we'll see what I can do. Have fun with it. I am.

AN: Check my bio for a list of update priorities for stories.

************** Lies Our Parents Told Us: "Your Face Will Freeze" ************

“You better stop or your face is going to freeze like that.”

Buffy Summers snorted and shot Colonel Jack O’Neill a murderous look before
continuing to stick her tongue out at his reflection in the cool alien mirror
they had found. O’Neill glowered back in his reflection from behind her,
leaning against the ornate wall of the Temple on P-Diddly Something, Insert
Random Numbers Here. His penis substitute, excuse her, gun, was resting on
the ground as he watched her make a fool out of herself.

Buffy, as the newest and shiniest addition to Stargate Command, rather liked
making a fool out of herself. Especially because it managed to vex the leader
of SG1 ever so splendidly. She hadn’t had so much fun taunting someone since
Spike had been all chipped and cranky, and well, alive.

She fought back the nostalgia that thought brought, and concentrated on more
important things. Like driving Jack O’Neill batty. Ah, how she loved life
after the birth of all the mini-Slayers. She had so much more time for
helping out secret government organizations, the non-dissection kind, and
being obnoxious.

“I swear, Summers,” he groused, “if you stick your tongue out at me ONE MORE

Oh, what a life.

All of the sudden the very alien mirror she had been making a face into flared
to life, the glass flashing so brightly Buffy felt it like a physical blow.
She could distantly hear O’Neill cursing as she staggered momentarily to her
knees. It was over in a moment though, and she blinked dazedly as her sight

“Summers… SUMMERS!” O’Neill had one hand on her shoulder and was shaking it
which really, despite weird alien devices, was overdoing it a bit.

She turned to snap at him but ran into some difficulties when she realized that…

Jack O’Neill took one look at her face, tongue stuck out, and her total
inability to screech about it, and burst into hysterical laughter.


O’Neill laughed harder. “Daniel! Get over here, you gotta come see!”

Buffy glowered the best she could.

This was SO much better than Sunnydale.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Lies Our Parents Told Us" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 26 Oct 05.

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