Crossover with the short-lived Sci-Fi show Good vs. Evil. Some souls are worth fighting for more than others. Points of weakness in Ms. Summers’ character include her feelings of inadequacy as a teenager. She is a sixteen-year-old girl, after all, the most wretched creature on the planet. Spoilers:
Slight spoilers for episode BTVS 1.1 – Welcome to the Hellmouth Disclaimer:
I don’t own any characters recognizable from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
or Good vs. Evil
. I only own the plot and the few (minor) original characters that I throw in here and there. All characters will be returned to sender in a timely fashion. I make no many off these works. No copyright infringement intended. Author’s Note:
Mephistopheles or Mephisto is the devil that Faust sold his soul to. In G vs. E, people who sell their souls are known as “Fausts.” The Corp are the heavenly agents who try to prevent that from happening. The Morlocks are what the agents of evil are called. Dedication:
For Nick and William, the two who introduced me to G vs. E.
——— From the Desk of Evil… Date:
September 10, 1997 To:
All employees of Evil From:
Allison Mahoney, Project Manager Re:
Buffy A. Summers, the vampire slayer
Bill Clinton is no longer the focal point of our insidious attention. We are confident that his love of women and McDonald’s cheeseburgers will bring him willingly to our cause sooner rather than later.
Unlike his predecessor, George Bush, he didn’t seem to have much interest in monetary gain, but preferred the more sensual side of sin. Please, send your congratulations to Randall Greene who has been successful in obtaining more than half of the political soul quota, including George Bush and, eventually, Bill Clinton.
Our new focus is Buffy Anne Summers. She is a sixteen-year-old Slayer currently residing in Sunnydale, California. Yes, that is outside our realm of Los Angeles, but it is vital that we obtain her soul, not only for the satisfaction of telling the Corp to kiss that soul goodbye, but because this will be the biggest victory on our side since the Dark Ages.
Slayers are harder to bring to our side, but when you have successfully presented your case to a Slayer (and thus securing her soul), you find the rewards greater and more satisfying than acquiring the soul of an alcohol-imbued truck driver.
The man or woman who achieves this great feat will know notoriety unbound while reaping rewards for their hard work and dedication. Yes, this will be hard work, fiends. Remember, Slayers are very dangerous women, and death is an occupational hazard that increases tenfold when dealing with Slayers.
Slayers are strong in body and in spirit, but they are still human, given to frivolous, capricious desires. Because Slayers tend to be young and still inexperienced with life, we find that the easiest path of damnation is the promise of giving her a “normal life,” i.e. vampire-free.
Ms. Summers is experiencing a drop in morale. This should make your job easier. Unwittingly, her mother has carted her from this great metropolis of sin to an even bigger pit of iniquity—the Hellmouth. This can work for you or against you, as you will be competing with other fiends for her soul.
Other points of weakness in Ms. Summers’ character include her feelings of inadequacy as a teenager. She is a sixteen-year-old girl, after all, the most wretched creature on the planet. I believe you will find a Ms. Cordelia Chase especially helpful in aggravating these “inadequacies” in Ms. Summers.
Ms. Summers, who was very popular at her former school, finds it disheartening that her new friends consist of a bookworm and a “lovable” loser while the most popular girl in school—that would be Ms. Chase, mind you—scorns her. Her ego has taken a definite blow. Capitalize!
Most importantly, though, are her mixed feelings about being a Slayer. She has decided to rebel against her calling by giving up on her Slayer duties because she feels that the weight of the world shouldn’t rest on her shoulders. Besides, being a Slayer causes her more trouble than its worth.
This probably sends a shudder of joy through the world of evil, but as any good fiend knows, a Slayer cannot run away from her destiny. However, Ms Summers is not particularly happy about her higher calling, which you must utilize to your full potential.
I have not mentioned these things for your health. You are to exploit these weaknesses to your full advantage. As always, unlike the Corp, we encourage trickery, magic, and, most importantly, sex. We have found that sex is a strong catalyst for both you and the potential Faust in these situations.
Should you encounter any agents of Good, you are to destroy them at all costs, unless they are wielding the dagger bathed in the blood of innocents. In which case, it is advised that you run away like a coward instead of meeting your demise. It’s hard to find good agents of Evil these days, and we value your service.
Just as the Good agents are dangerous, dagger-wielding maniacs, the Slayer can pose a potential threat, as she not only eliminates vampires but other fiends, as well. She may not be able to discover a way to beat you alone, but her Watcher is well-learned in the dark arts. Patience and carefulness are key in this situation.
Happy soul harvesting!
A. Mahoney Important Reminder
The company picnic is scheduled for September 27th. Please remember to bring your assigned dish. This year’s proceeds from the picnic will go to “Hell for Happy Families,” which teaches the fundamentals of successfully preparing ill-informed families for their new home.
——— From the Desk of Good… Date:
September 13, 1997 To:
All agents of the Corp From:
Paul Massey, Spiritual Advisor Re:
Buffy Anne Summers, Sunnydale, and the pursuit of good
These are truly trying times we are living in, friends. Discouraging news has come to the light. The Morlocks have set their sights on Buffy Summers. And while we don’t declare that the weight of one person’s soul is greater than another’s, I must stress that it is very important that Evil doesn’t obtain Buffy’s soul.
To have someone as powerful as Buffy as a Faust would definitely tip the balance of things in favor of Evil. This is something that we cannot ignore or allow to happen. We don’t want another Dark Ages on our hand. Some of you are old enough to remember those bleak years in our history.
For those of you unfamiliar with the name Buffy Summers, she is the newest vampire slayer. She is currently sixteen-years-old and formerly a resident of Los Angeles.
Buffy’s mother moved her from the city to a small Californian town outside the city due to the “problems” Buffy was having at her former school. This was a smart decision on her mother’s part, but the small town she relocated Buffy to is Sunnydale—Evil’s playground.
It is no mistake that Buffy ended up in Sunnydale. She is destined for great things, and Sunnydale is the key to that greatness. Besides, what cesspool needs a hero more than Sunnydale? None that I know of besides Cleveland.
Information about Buffy was brought to our attention after veteran agent, Chandler Smythe, thwarted an attempt of an Evil agent to secure the soul of Cordelia Chase, who in every right will probably make a good agent of Evil one day.
As you all know, Chandler went to Sunnydale to assess the situation of the Hellmouth, and it is a dire one indeed. However, that is information best left for another memo, which will be forthcoming.
Slayers do possess great physical and mental prowess, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need a guiding hand to keep them on the straight and narrow from time to time. Buffy is young, and Evil will take advantage of all the insecurities that youth has to offer.
At this point, Buffy isn’t sure of herself or her abilities. Before she arrived in Sunnydale, she tackled the perils that Evil presented on her own. She is fortunate to have Giles as her new Watcher. He will guide her as best he can, but that doesn’t mean that our job is done.
Intervention is the key to making sure Buffy’s soul is safe until she finds herself. Until she comes to realize her true potential, we will have to keep a close eye on her lest she fall prey to Evil’s intentions.
We are also hoping that her new friends, Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg, will inadvertently aid in the quest to keep Buffy’s soul safe. Both teens exhibit an extraordinary goodness that is beginning to become rare in young people these days. Future agents of the Corp I’m hoping.
We are praying that they will show Buffy that there are more important things in life than boys, being popular, shopping, and obtaining the approval of snooty girls. Sixteen is such a fickle age to be, but it is important that Buffy see the essential good she will do.
With that comes a warning concerning Cordelia Chase, whom I mentioned earlier in this memo. The minions of Evil are hard at work to secure her soul for their own. The top executives and I agree that she will eventually fall to Evil’s whims.
Cordelia is considered an influential presence at Sunnydale High School, and Evil will surely use her as a pawn to further their agenda to acquire Buffy’s soul. You must be ever vigilant of these juvenile attempts.
Don’t be discouraged, friends. This will be a hard battle, but good always triumphs over Evil in the end. Just keep the faith, and remember the three rules.
#1 – No Sex (Don’t want to sleep with a minion of Evil; you will go to HELL! You will not pass Go! You will not collect 200 dollars!)
#2 – No contact with people from your past life (Mr. Smythe, this means you!)
#3 – No magic, if you die you die (This one we’re going a little easy on. Desperate times, my friends, desperate times.)
Paul Massey, S.A.