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Freed from Bond-age...

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Summary: This is why Wise and I shouldn't be allowed in the same IM window. An Illyria "When I Woke Up" drabble. Warning: irritated Illyria. Is it really necessary to say that there's death? Isn't that a given?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > James Bond(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR1836932269,64421 Jun 0612 Oct 06Yes

One more? Okay, one more...

Title: Freed from Bond-age...
Author: Wise
Rating: R/FR18.
Disclaimer: Not quite sure who owns the Buffyverse or the Bondverse, but I know for a fact that it's not me...
Summary: Never try to get into Illyria's pants... even if she's loaded...
Joe's Note: This one is dedicated to the change to Rule #2 that now allows us to do super-blatant self-insertion fics. In this case, Wise and I. Parody for the win.

     "Write me another, Paul!" Joe insisted, glaring intensely across the internet.

     Paul grimaced and sat down. Joe wants another Illyria fic, does he? Well then, he'll just have to explain that to Illyria herself. With a maniacal grin, he began to write.

     On the other side of the nation, Joe was smiling to himself in a self-satisfied manner, when suddenly there came a knock on his door. You know, the kind that knocks the door clear off its hinges. Illyria strode into his room, looking imperiously down at him.

     "So, worm," she intoned, "You are the one responsible for my suffering of such... indignities?"

     "Baby," Joe replied, his mouth moving faster than his wits, "For you, I'll be whatever you want."

     "So be it," she said, and seized him by the throat with one hand and began tearing his limbs off with the other.

     "Kinky," Joe said as he bled to death.

     Illyria strode back out of the room, leaving him to die, but couldn't help but feel slightly dirty at the implications of Joe's last word.

The End

You have reached the end of "Freed from Bond-age...". This story is complete.

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