Urgo Returns. Chapter 1. Ethans Revenge.
Response to challenge #1634: 2006 Summer Fic-a-Thon for JoAnneStorm who wanted:
Characters: Spike, Buffy, Dawn. (Sorry, no Dawn I don’t think I can write her without getting people angry.)
Also wants: fluff, someone taking a vacation, and lots of humor.
Does not want: graphic violence, graphic homosexual sex, or a trainload of angst.
I do not own Stargate Sg-1 or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Spoilers for Season 3 episode 16 Urgo. This takes place several years after the events of Urgo after Daniel returns from being ascended and it takes place immediately after Once More With Feeling in the Buffy verse things go differently for Buffy from there as Tabula Rasa never took place.
Thoughts are shown by *thought*
There will be multiple het pairings, Buffy x Spike, Buffy x Daniel, Jack x Sam, Xander x Anya.
There will be references to Willow but nothing much happens for her and nothing detailed or explicit. But the main paring is for Buffy X Daniel and Buffy X Spike
Ethan sat staring at the strange luminescent red-gold crystal ball in front of him. Finally he had found a way to get back at the slayer and those annoying Scoobies. They always ruined his plans. If the journal of the object was accurate all he had to do was get it to the Scoobies somehow.
Pondering for a moment Ethan realized the perfect plan. He had been snooping around trying to find some dirt on what was going on. He wasn’t able to get the details, but apparently the underworld was abuzz with the news that the slayer had recently suffered some kind of trauma. She was probably dying for a vacation. It was only a matter of getting the orb to her. He had also learned, (from eavesdropping on said Scoobies) that Rupert and the girl Dawn had left to go to look into some mystical artifacts that some Archaeologist or Anthropologist had found.
It truly was perfect for his plans. Those meddling kids would never suspect something that Rupert would send to them. A sinister smile came to his face as he took some paper and forged a note from their precious mentor.
Xander, Willow and Buffy were gathered at the Magic Box where Giles had sent them a package. When Willow saw the mystical orb inside of the package her eyes sparkled with interest. She had been feeling pretty bad lately. She had just found out she had torn Buffy from heaven. The knowledge was something that ate at her. Tara (who would normally calm Willow back down) had told her she needed some time to think and would be back in a few days.
“Ooh pretty.” Xander stated. “And look there is a note.” The three friends gathered together
Dear Zander Willow and of course Buffy.
“Hey! What’s the deal? How could Giles spell my name wrong?”
“He is probably just distracted with all his new mystical toys.” Willow stated trying to make him feel better. It did seem rather strange to her though.
I’ve come across this object that is quite remarkable actually. It is the Orb of Freyja...
“Hey, I’ve heard about this! Willow stated excited to know something about the object before Giles could tell them all about it. “It was made from the red-gold tears of the Norse goddess Freyja.”
“Why was the goddess crying?” Xander asked.
“She had been searching for her husband Od. He went on long journeys and stuff.”
“Woah there! A goddess was married to a man named Od?” Seeing the looks from his two friends he continued. “I’m only asking.”
“Yes, Xander, she was married to a man named Od. It was a pretty cool story too. Freyja had all kinds of cool things like this feather coat that could make you fly!”
“Willow, what about the orb?” Buffy asked to get her back on track.
“Oh right, well it is said that you could travel great distances to all kinds of places using the orb. That’s all I know really. It was just a story in one of Giles books.” Turning back to the letter they continued to read.
With this orb you can travel to the ultimate vacation location.
“Ha, Try saying that ten times fast!” Xander cried out. His friends smiled appreciatively but turned back to the letter.
You have all been working so hard lately. Why not take some time off for a little R & R. I thought this would be a great chance to get away and relax. I know things have been kind of difficult lately.
Next in the letter came the instructions on how to use the orb which they all skimmed over lightly.
With all due regards,
*Kind of difficult? I was ripped from heaven and had to claw my way out of my own coffin and all it was, was kind of difficult?* Buffy thought to herself in indignation. It seemed kind of odd to her that Giles would ever encourage her to take some time off. But, who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth?
She didn’t have to worry about Dawn, as she had gone with Giles. They had quite a talk the other night after all of the singing had subsided. The musical realizations of Buffy coming back from heaven and Dawns kleptomaniac-cry-for-attention had left both sisters realizing that things were far from good between them. So together they had agreed not to leave the house until their issues were resolved. The next two days had left them fighting, crying and consoling one another. In the end both sisters had come out much closer to each other.
Buffy had realized that perhaps it was time to take a step back from Dawn and allow her to choose her own path. To show her the world. Dawn needed to find her own niche. Her own friends and support. Buffy needed to be a part of the support. At the same time she also realized that Dawn also needed to learn discipline, that her choices had consequences. And so to pay back everything she had stolen, Dawn had started working as an assistant and apprentice to Giles.
Buffy had expected Dawn to rebel against this decision. Yet, Dawn seemed delighted. Fortunately it was summer break and Dawn was not in school. So when Giles was called by his friend, and asked to come check out some artifacts that a local tribe had given to him; Dawn had gone with him. She was delighted to be getting out to see the world. Something Buffy felt a little jealous of, if the whole truth were known. After all if it was hard to be Dawn’s guardian, it was just as difficult to guard the hellmouth.
Yet, here was an opportunity to go on an actual vacation. The thought was almost enough to drive away the emptiness that had been a part of her since her unconventional return to life.
The Scoobies had gathered together at the Magic Box to try out the orb. They were all looking forward to getting away from the craziness of the Hellmouth for a while.
The sunlight from outside gently bathed the room in light as the three got close to the orb and started the ritual that would take them to the ‘ultimate vacation location.’ Just as they were nearing the end of the ritual Spike burst into the Magic Box wearing an old fashioned brown suit, a bow-tie and a padded hat with earflaps. Dropping the smoldering blanket on the ground, he quickly made sure he wasn’t on fire anywhere and then sauntered into the room with an apparent swagger. (The effect was ruined not only by the ridiculous clothing he was wearing but by the fact that the three were finishing the ritual.)
“I need asylum.” He stated but seeing that no one was paying him any attention, he joined the others in the middle of the room. “Slayer?” He asked trying again to get her attention. Reaching over he gently touched her shoulder. “What the bloody...”
There was a brilliant flash of light and then the three friends and the chipped vampire disappeared leaving the apparently deserted shop behind them.
Anya was frantic, her Xander Bear had left her a note that he had gone off on some wild fling with Willow and Buffy. He had gone off to some mystical-romantic vacation-paradise with his first girlfriend and the woman he had a crush on for years. Sure, he said he was coming right back for her. That he would get her after she was finished visiting with Hallie. He said he was just going to check it out and be right back. He also said in his note that they were leaving at around 10 AM. It was now after 1 AM. Sixteen hours is a long time to just check a place out and come right back.
Either her fiancé had been stolen from her by some demon-bimbo, or Buffy, or Willow...Or he was in mortal danger again! *It’s like the world is plotting against my marriage!* She thought desperately to herself.
“I can see him now, dead in a ditch somewhere with bunnies hopping all over his lifeless body. OH MY GOD!” She screamed in horror at the thought and started panicking even more.
A brilliant flash of red-gold light interrupted her panic. Screaming Anya grabbed the first thing her hand came into contact with and raised it like a weapon.
“Hell is going on?” Spike finished the question he had been asking when they disappeared. “Bullox what was that?” Spike asked and looked around.
Buffy looked up and starred out of the darkened window of the Magic Box in shock. Willow too was looking around in confusion.
“It didn’t work.” She whispered in shock. “Why didn’t it work? I did everything right.”
Xander looked around the back of the shop. “So the ultimate vacation location is the Magic Box? Somehow, I’m unimpressed.” Looking up he saw his fiancee holding a flyswatter up as if to attack them with it. “Sweetie your back already? Um, what is with the flyswatter? Are we being attacked by demon flies?” He said this in a joking manner, but his eyes suddenly got big and round. “We aren’t are we?”
“Xander!” Anya cried out joyfully and embraced him in a crushing hug. “I was so scared. You were dead in a ditch and there were bunnies everywhere!” She cried out shuddering in abject horror. Suddenly getting a hold of herself, she lifted her head to ask him, “Why aren’t you dead in a ditch? It’s because you weren’t in trouble and you were cheating on me isn’t it!” She cried out in rage. Taking a step back she hit him on the head with the flyswatter.
“Don’t you call me An! How dare you go off on a vacation with two women and not take me!”
“Anya, I told you in the note that we were coming right back for you. Hey, since we didn’t go anywhere it is kinda a moot point.”
“Xander.” Buffy finally reached over and turned him around to look at the front of the Magic Box.
“Ok? What happened to the sunlight?”
“You have been gone for over 15 hours.” Anya cried out.
“OK, so we traveled forward in time several hours instead of the vacation thing?”
“That so, would have come in handy while we were in highschool.” Buffy stated. “But, that isn’t right either. I’m starving and tired, I feel like have gone 15 hours without eating and you have a bruise that you didn’t have when we left.”
“Slayers got a point.” Spike stated but stopped talking when everyone turned to look at him.
“Spike what are you doing here?”
“Forget, ‘what he is doing here,” Xander stated overjoyed to have something to poke fun at the vampire with. “I want to know what the hell he is wearing!” Xander burst out laughing.
Spike growled at Xander but a look from Buffy stopped him. “He does have a valid point.” She commented looking at his hat with the earflaps. “What is with the flappy eared hat and suit?”
“It’s a disguise. Happens that, there is a bloke I’d rather not see just now. A little matter over 40 siamese kittens.” At this Buffy rolled her eyes.
“All right guys, let’s call it a night and meet back here tomorrow for research about what happened...or what didn’t happen.”
The gang all nodded and left. Leaving behind a bleached blond vampire who decided to spend the night in the magic shop basement. He still needed to talk with Buffy about that kiss but he needed some time alone with the girl to do that.
None of them were aware of the invisible presence that had returned with them when the bright flash of light had brought them back to the Magic Box.
Urgo was delighted to be back on Earth, Togar really was evil and boring. At least he didn’t follow through with his threat to kill Urgo because he was so obnoxious.
*Really, I’m not obnoxious at all Togar just has no sense of humor.*
Instead Togar found new hosts for Urgo and told him in no uncertain terms that; if his new hosts returned demanding to be freed of Urgo, then Urgo would be placed inside of a slug and left there.
*I don’t wanna be a slug, they’re so gooey and slimy, and they don’t eat pie.* Urgo thought to himself.
He felt very hopefull about these new friends of his, but he decided to be very careful. He would try to keep his presence a mystery for as long as possible.
He was so pleased when humans came through the mystical portal to Hesperia. Humans ate pie, they were always his favorite hosts. These humans reminded him a lot of his old friends. He missed Colonel O’Neill, and Sam, Daniel and Teal’c.
*Ooh! What if I can get my old friends and my new friends together. We could have a party. It would be so much fun!* Streaching out his EM field Urgo searched for his old friends. He had been downloaded out of the chip that was in their brains but the chips were still there. If he could find them, maybe they would help him to convince these new hosts to let him stay. He cried out in joy when he was able to find them and reactivate his link to them.
This was perfect...he had gotten really good at getting people to do what he wanted them to, especially if they didn’t know he was there. His joy only grew when he realized that they were all getting ready to leave on vacation. Yes Sg-1 and his new Scooby friends would have a wonderful party after all.
A.N. Freyja and Od are gods from Norse Mythology. (At least I think Od is a god?) Freyja did go looking for her husband but her journey wasn’t documented and her tears were red-gold, according to Norse Mythology: A Guide to the Gods, Heroes, Rituals and Beliefs by John Lindow. The orb that was made from her tears was my own fiendishly brilliant invention.