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Mithras Chronicles

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Review of chapter "0.2" from banditdoz
Review:
Absolutely fantastic - Thanks for writing
I'm glad that Xan and Faith are looking good but how is everything between Tara and Ken? no fights no romantic dinners? I'd love to see a little interlude with them being the subject :D
Comments from author:
Interesting idea. Tara
gets a great moment in
the finale at least.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [banditdoz] • Date [8 Mar 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "0.2" from wonderbee
Review:
Excellent section, e en as if looks like the wolf ram are getting things to build to a crescendo there, here's hoping that the Mitras will be able to pull another win out of their hats.
Comments from author:
Kiri Dim was a long-term investment from W&H,
they took a hit losing her.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [wonderbee] • Date [5 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Demons of the Past" from agnar
Review:
And this is where I finally lose my patience with your fic. It had potential but you just never managed to impress me with your xander and crew actually seeming to improve. Every time it seemed like they'd actually maybe start getting better, you'd have another fight and manage to make Xander regress in fighting ability.

He hasn't had his skills for a few weeks, he's worked on his skills for FIVE YEARS. He COMPLETED his training recently, yes. But you didn't describe his training as some instant download like the Matrix, you described it as him getting trained in basically time compression.

And yet every fucking half assed minion gets to punch Xander around like a chump. And Xander and crew piss their pants over Kakistos the guy without opposable thumbs who has ALREADY been killed once. And that was without guns that can kill vampires.

And for fucks sake, what the hell kind of shotgun is Xander using that it's empty after 4 shots? And why is Xander the only one with guns? He shot the 2 guards, 1 shell each, the 2 vamps just inside, 1 shot each, then puts away the EMPTY gun.

Did the dumbass forget to reload it after its last use or something? Then you have Tara and Faith using crossbows? What happened to all those guns and ammo he got, did he give it all away?

Each of them with guns, shooting the fucking vamps, game over before Kakistos rises. And 40 miles travel took them 90 minutes?

Sorry but you try too hard to make your heroes struggle, but in doing so you just make them look weak or stupid, if not both.
Comments from author:
Was going to classify your review as "constructive honest criticism", but after going through the reviews you've left other fics, I've come to the conclusion you're one of those saddos who gets off flaming and tearing people's stories apart, while not having the stones to publish anything yourself. So I guess I've been Barnetted.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [agnar] • Date [4 Mar 14] • Rating [2 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Down Mexico Way" from agnar
Review:
It's getting old seeing your Xander with 5 years training in tactics and strategy and leadership constantly acting like a dumbass high school grad with no training. He's not fucking possessed by Mithras either, you've NEVER shown him being possessed by Mithras.

You showed Mithras train Xander mystically/mentally for five years so he could act in his stead. So what is this shit about Mithras being out right now, so Xander is clueless about planning?

I hope you actually got on the ball about this later in the fic and decided if Mithras is possessing Xander so he won't be such a useless moron, or if Xander got TRAINED by Mithras so Xander won't be a useless moron.

Because honestly, it seems like every step forward Xander takes, you have him jump back 5 steps.
Review By [agnar] • Date [4 Mar 14] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from agnar
Review:
Hopefully Xander will actually get a boost above human peak, because right now his 'power up' is incredibly tame, not 'lead a vast army to save the world' level really, especially since despite 5 years of training Xander is still lacking any new self-confidence. It's more like he got an instant download so his personality is exactly the same, rather than spending 5 years in compressed time being trained, which would alter his personality at least some.

And not so impressed by the super bank. The instant the account goes active everybody in the universe knows its active and WHO the account holder is. For fucks sake, the swiss and cayman banks are more secure info wise than that. I'd expect far more from this 'super bank' than that sort of shoddy ass security.
Review By [agnar] • Date [4 Mar 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "0.2" from wonderbee
Review:
Nice to see the loonies of the Doc at the very end, and shocking to see what happened with Xander there, while looking forward to the next big bad they'll have to get down and dirty with.
Review By [wonderbee] • Date [28 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "0.2" from DofEire
Review:
Snerk. "Doctor Ex Machina", eh? :D
Comments from author:
Exactly why he isn't over-used! :D

Only in because plenty of my Brit readers requested him.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [DofEire] • Date [28 Feb 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "0.3" from TheFoxBoss
Review:
Are we going to meet any mutant-slayers?
Comments from author:
Interesting thought, but no.

Thanks for the review!
Review By [TheFoxBoss] • Date [19 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "0.2" from (Recent Donor)faithfan
Review:
I've got questions.

“When did she go missing?” demanded the group’s oldest member, the weathered-looking Kostmayer.

“Six weeks ago,” Parrish sighed, sudden weariness and worry weighing him down.

Direct Question, Direct Answer. This reads as she been 6 weeks missing.

Next Paragraph, She's only left town 3 weeks ago, and has been out of contact only 2 weeks.

“Six weeks ago Jessica approached me with a quite frankly absurd tale of an island off the south-east coast of Africa, just about opposite the Angolan-Namibian border ruled by a mystery despot who’d spent much of the last century experimenting on people. She wanted me to finance an investigation. I did, she left three weeks ago with strict instructions to contact us on a daily basis which she has failed to do.”

”When was the last contact?” queried Kostmayer.

“Two weeks ago.” Parrish paused momentarily before continuing. “Look, her safety is my responsibility as her employer. When she didn’t return, I was obligated to do all I could to get her back.”


After Xan rescues the Mercs, the fate of the reported is left a mystery.
Was she rescued?
Comments from author:
The last contact means phone calls, emails, she hasn't
actually been seen for 5 - 6 weeks. I hope that clears
that up. :D

The reporter's dead. Probably dissected in an experiment.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [(Recent Donor)faithfan] • Date [18 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "0.2" from banditdoz
Review:
Real life is seriously getting in the way of my fun time.
You always have me on the edge of my seat and I love reading about this epic adventure
Thanks so much for the escape :D
Comments from author:
And thanks for the review!
Review By [banditdoz] • Date [17 Feb 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Island Horror" from demonichellfire
Review:
Any plans to include Jason
Comments from author:
Nope.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [demonichellfire] • Date [14 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mithras Chronicles Chapter 1" from demonichellfire
Review:
Any plans for Ash Williams. Evil Dead.
Comments from author:
Doubtful. I'm a fan of Bruce Campbell but not Sam Rami.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [demonichellfire] • Date [13 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "0.2" from wonderbee
Review:
Oh dear, and while they are still working as a team, it looks like Xander is getting a right amount of pressure on top of him there, and will not want to be around m when it finally gets to be more than enough.
Comments from author:
He's over-dosing on the old adrenalin for sure.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [wonderbee] • Date [12 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Governmental Response" from Difdi
Review:
> "What concerns me is the A-Team Industries’ legal department,” Chegwidden suddenly
> spoke up. “It has some of the finest legal minds in the nation, if we go after the Brotherhood
> units, we better be damn sure we have solid legal grounds because otherwise they’d tie us
> up in the courts for years.”

While it's illegal for private citizens to build their own private militias within the boundaries of the United States, there is also the fact that every male citizen between the ages of 17 and 45 who is not a convicted felon or certified mentally incompetent or physically disabled such that they cannot hold and fire a rifle is a member of the United States Militia. Originally, women were only militia members if enlisted in the National Guard, but given how it's illegal to discriminate against someone to deny them rights on the basis of gender, women are also militia members now. Yup, that's right -- equality means you too can be drafted.

That places the Brotherhood in a legal gray area. Whether they are an illegal organization or a perfectly legal militia group is determined by one factor. If the US government declares an emergency, calls up the militia in general and the Brotherhood in particular, will the Brotherhood do their duty as citizens? If yes, then they are legal. If no, then they are not legal. Raising an armed body of troops and making war upon the United States (and resisting arrest with the intensity the Brotherhood is capable of qualifies as armed rebellion) is treason. Refusing to answer a militia call-up is a misdemeanor in every state. Refusal to muster will result in a Sheriff's Deputy showing up to greet you with handcuffs. Conveniently there will be a judge at the muster site to administer oaths, who is also perfectly capable of issuing bench warrants. Once at the muster site in handcuffs, the judge will ask the citizen whether he refuses to do his duty, and whether he falls into any of the legal exemptions. If the citizen is not exempt and refuses to serve, that citizen will be charged with treason in 95% of all US states. And there is a convenient judge, probably enough people for a jury right there. The citizen will be tried on the spot, with all members of the court including the jury having witnessed the crime. A conviction is typically very swift, and there is only one remedy for a conviction of treason during time of war or great emergency. Judge's choice of hanging or firing squad, within the hour.

The quartet could sidestep a treason charge by renouncing their US citizenship, but then they could be deported as illegal immigrants or denied entry into the US. This option is worse for a standard Brotherhood team, since it would remove them permanently from any patrol area within the US.

On the other side of things, it should be noted that under the laws of the United States, private citizens generally have greater freedom to take violent action in defense of themselves or others than government officials do. Government officials include everyone, from the local dog catcher to the President of the United States. Put simply, if a President can do something lawfully, such as a drone strike in lieu of an arrest and prosecution, then so could any citizen.

There are two federal laws that govern such things. Title 18, Chapter 13, Sections 241 & 242 of the U.S. Code make it a crime for anyone, acting under color of law and/or official authority to violate the constitutional or civil rights of any person.

Section 242 covers individual acts ranging from an oral order to stop exercising rights "or else" up through use of or threat of a dangerous weapon to deny rights, to a death occurring. Depending on the level of the offense, the punishment could be a year in prison, ten years in prison or life without parole...or even execution. It's worth noting that Section 242 acts much like a constitutional amendment in preserving rights, by prohibiting action by officials rather than granting any right to individuals. As such, a US government official cannot lawfully undertake action outside the boundaries of the US that they could not undertake within the US, but could give orders for someone else outside the US to do it (Obama ordering a drone strike on suspected criminals, for example, would only implicate Obama in a criminal act).

Section 241 is the conspiracy version of 242. While 241 starts off one step more severe in punishments than 242 does, 241 only applies within the national and territorial boundaries of the US. Section 241 makes any two people conspiring to deprive someone of constitutional rights under color of law a felony anywhere within US jurisdiction. If anyone dies or suffers aggravated sexual abuse as a result of the conspiracy (including due to felony murder laws, a member of the conspiracy being shot in self-defense by a victim of the conspiracy) the offense jumps to a capital crime.

If the Brotherhood is a legal militia, then bombing them or sending in tactical teams to take them out would make everyone from the highest official giving the orders to the lowliest grunt carrying them out guilty of a federal crime punishable by life in prison without possibility of parole or even execution by firing squad, since such an act would count as making war on US militia, which would be treason on top of a Section 241 violation.

It is worth noting that the Bill of Rights amendments to the constitution do not grant anyone any rights whatsoever. Instead, they protect rights by absolutely prohibiting the government from ever taking certain actions. As such, since the constitution never specifies that you have to be human to be a citizen or even be human to have rights, Sections 241 & 242 are relevant even to demon hunters and the more peaceful demons.
Comments from author:
Heh. You clearly gave the matter a great deal more thought than I.

Thanks for the review. It was an interesting read.
Review By [Difdi] • Date [7 Feb 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A Governmental Response" from OlBear
Review:
Excellent chapter! I wonder who the government will send to Xander and Co as their representative?
Comments from author:
Probably some ambassador.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [OlBear] • Date [6 Feb 14] • Not Rated
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